these nerves aren’t happy one bit

Oct 17, 2013

Oh, how thankful I am for rice packs to warm up my sore muscles and ice packs to take away the inflammation in my hip.

I will be switching the warmth and the cold for the next few hours.

Yesterday was another great day. I attended an awesome presentation by Kami Mitchell of Youth For Freedom fame, taught about D-Day and the Battle of the Bulge in my WWII class, and taught my math class about patterns. I felt really strong and capable.

Then I accidentally locked myself out of my car at the library and Richard had to come rescue me by picking up the big girls and taking them to ballet and church meetings. Then bring me back the spare key…about a 40 mile round trip.

Finally at close to 8:00 p.m. I was almost home and noticed that our church parking lot was full of cars. I remembered I had a teacher training meeting starting at 8:00 and hurriedly pulled in, hauled my zero gravity chair inside, and got ready for the smorgasbord of great teaching I knew was coming.

Close to the end of the meeting the trouble started. Once again my heart rate started going up and down and all around. I started shaking and feeling all tingly and knew I was going to pass out. I have come to dread that feeling, but last night I tried not to fight it. I consciously tried to embrace it and just let it be what it is without any of the crazy-making stuff of my head.

At the end of the meeting my friend John walked up to me and teased me by acting like he was kicking my broken foot. Then he must have noticed the shaking or the whiteness of my face or something because he knelt down beside me and held my hand and calmly asked me what I needed him to do. He quickly called Richard and got him on his way to come to get me and then fed me a banana and cup after cup of water. He wrapped me up in his suit coat and a blanket and then he and another gentleman administered a priesthood blessing.

I am so grateful for his kindness. I couldn’t really communicate much, but John helped me stay calm and safe and taken care of until Richard arrived.

My Relief Society President, Linda, rubbed my quad since it was cramping so badly while other ladies got me some food and water and held my other hand.

I don’t know how many times I passed out last night, it seemed like a never ending cycle of shaking, passing out, shaking, lucidity for a few minutes, shaking, passing out. It lasted a couple of hours and I don’t think I got to bed until about 1:00 a.m.

This morning I am so sore. All the muscles in my body ache with post-charley horse syndrome. If that syndrome doesn’t already exist, I have just named it. It is the feeling that lasts for hours and hours AND hours after a muscle has been tensed for an extraordinarily long time.

Fisher and I are going to curl up with King Arthur and Life of Fred while I help these muscles relax with piles of rice packs. I am hoping it works fast because today is full of music lessons, Kez’s last cross-country meet of the season, and symphony rehearsal tonight.

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  1. Rachael


    I hope you receive this with an open heart and mind and with love, but I’m really concerned for you.This seems like a tedious or almost insulting question, but are you monitoring your blood sugars through out the day and keeping them balanced? You don’t know much of anything about my experience with Lyme Disease, which by the way, we can’t compare ourselves to each other nor do I ever want you to feel guilty, but I had pretty bad nerve damage. Nothing like what you experience as far as passing out frequently, but much of my healing for all parts of my hurting body came when my leaky gut was healed and I absorbed more nutrients. I assume you are a very conscious eater of quality foods, but if there is not enough protein, that may be triggering some of the flares. Just a thought. Also, I absolutely love Epson salt baths for sore, achy muscles along with more magnesium. I am highly sure you may already know this in your busy, aspiring mind to know all truth. Healing takes a lot of time and I am grateful you have many to love on you wherever you go. You have a support group. However, even if you didn’t have a support group, I know you have it in you to heal and get better. Please take that time as a blessing and be patient with yourself. More importantly, be patient with others who do not understand. We’re all doing the best we can. God bless you.

    • tracy


      Not tedious at all…my body is really sensitive right now to blood sugar fluctuations and dehydration. I have to drink a lot of water and on the days I don’t I usually have these episodes. I definitely need more protein. I have a real problem with forgetting to eat – I get started on a project or a book or whatever and all of a sudden it is hours and hours later and I haven’t eaten. That definitely played a part yesterday – I hadn’t eaten since breakfast! Eeeek! What was I thinking?

      I love, love, love magnesium soaks. I have gotten out of the habit lately and need to spend some time soaking up some Mg.

      I hope your pregnancy is going well.

      Love you.

  2. Rachael

    Girl, I think you have some ADHA tendencies….lol. I love how excited you get about projects, and your commitment to your children’s growth and development. Remember yourself too, please. The more you can take care of you, the better you will be able to continue to live your dreams with your children. Sometimes simple is better. Being calm is better. It might be less adventurous and boring at times, but I hate it when I forget to get enough protein and have to suffer the consequences especially when pregnant or nursing. You have many bright days ahead where your body will no longer suffer as it has, but those baby steps are essential to those days you dream of having again. Best of luck.

    Oh…and thanks. The pregnancy is so light in comparison to my last.

    • tracy

      I don’t think I have ADHD, but I have been told that on occasion. I definitely need to learn how to stop and eat meals. It is a big struggle for me. I just go and go and go until I fall over. It is such a challenge. I have often said I need an in-home chef who will make me delicious food and put it right in front of me at the appropriate time so I will eat regularly.

  3. Rachael

    Hahahah! Good luck with your chef idea. After Sam, I was always in the kitchen but never full. It was confusing. Once we FINALLY figured out what all was going on with me, over time, I learned to create in my mind the necessity to eat first thing in the morning and a plan of meals and snacks otherwise all the anxiety kicked in and the daunting images of what Lyme was doing to my body created too much fear. Over time it got much easier and I could sense my mind and body healing. Maybe Kat can move closer to you, eh? Welp, first things first missy. Without your foundation, it’ll always be challenging if you don’t put it first. You certainly do have a lot of energy. Maybe not ADHD, but certainly a lot of energy.

  4. Liz

    What about carrying crackers, cheese, bottled juice nuts in packs and set an alarm to snack every 2 hours. You are a master at multi-tasking and family logistics it seems– so hopefully you can eat and not faint — you sure want to avoid falling down that could really slow your recovery. Best wishes always, :)

    • tracy

      Yes, I need to be better at that! Much better!