sacred sabbaths 8/22

Keziah and Blythe were asked to sing in sacrament today. The song they chose is called “Remember” and it is one of the lovely songs from Stories of Jesus, which is our favorite CD about our Savior. This is the same CD that has “Gethsemane” and “See the Joy” that I have written about in the past. The whole album is incredible! You can download the whole thing at Hoffman House for only 6.99!

I tried to get a picture of the girls all dressed up, but due to Keziah’s feistyness none of them turned out. Keziah is making silly faces in all of them. Just trust me…they looked beautiful.

Since the front shots didn’t turn out, here are some pictures of the braiding creation I did for Keziah. According to someone at church, she looked like an angel.

Here are the words to the song…enjoy!

Remember

Remember the Man who walked on the water.
Remember the Man who talked to the sea.
Remember the Man whose hands healed the sick;
Who cared about children and what they can be.

Oh, remember. He asks us to remember.
Oh, remember. Always remember Him.

Remember the Man, the gentle Good Shepherd.
The one who fed thousands and brought us good news.
Remember the Man who came to save everyone,
Gave us the truth and taught us to choose.

Oh, remember. He asks us to remember.
Oh, remember. Always remember Him.

Remember the Man who carried our sorrows.
The Man who in three days rose from the dead.
Remember the Man who said “Be of good cheer”
And kept all His promises just as He said.

Oh, remember. He asks us to remember.
Oh, remember. Always remember Him.

Oh, remember. He asks us to remember.
Oh, remember. Always remember Him.

by Roger and Melanie Hoffman

Isn’t that beautiful! The girls did a wonderful job. I love hearing them sing and am grateful the Lord has blessed them with this talent so they can spread His love.

May we more fully remember Him, today and always.

blythe’s gift to me

My oldest child recently turned 14 years old. I am still bewildered that I have a child this age. How can that be even remotely possible?

I thought I had written about her gift to me before, but I can’t find what I thought I said, so I am going to write about it some more.

Pre-BMW (Blythe Moriah Ward), I had far different priorities than I did post-BMW. In fact, I was a different person. I did not want to be a mother. I wanted to spend my life doing important things – like traveling the world, studying the Torah, and teaching people God’s ancient words. I wanted to be known for doing important things. I wanted to fill my time with scholarly research and the subsequent presentations of my findings. I wanted to stretch my mind and challenge myself with doing really hard things.

I had absolutely no desire to have a child need me. I had no desire to ever change a diaper again. And if by some chance, I was given a child, he or she was not going to interfere with my life, my plans, my needs.

Throughout the first three years of our marriage, all of this started changing. I decided I wanted to have children. I started researching the role and value of motherhood. I started arguing with my feminist professors who advocated a position of “daycare is best for children.” I began to feel disgust for the mothers I saw dropping off their six-week old babies at a daycare at seven in the morning and picking them up at seven at night. I began to desire to be a mother who would be with her children…someday.

But, I was still ambivalent about actually being a mother. I had been told by two different doctors that I would die if I tried to have a baby and we believed them. We decided we would not have biological children and would look into adopting when I was done with my college education.

And then, in spite of doing everything we could to prevent pregnancy, I became pregnant. I was not happy. I was, in fact, pretty much terrified that I was going to die. Not only that, it felt like a huge interruption to my life. I was in the middle of my Speech Pathology program and I wanted to complete it. I couldn’t see how it would all work out. I worried about my education and my job and my life and a million other things that seem so trivial now.

We decided to let the pregnancy continue…to just see what would happen. Our OB sent for the reports from the previous two doctors and he disagreed with their findings. He felt like I was not in danger of death and could safely be a pregnant and birthing woman. We were comforted, but not convinced. As the months of pregnancy continued, all seemed to be well, and I began to believe that the first two doctors were completely wrong.

At 36 weeks pregnant, when my uterus had stretched as far as it was going to stretch, our OB pronounced that my abdominal wall was sound, that it was not going to rupture as had been declared by the prior physicians. He said, “See, I was right, everything is going to be just fine.” At that moment, I knew he was correct and I also knew I could not give birth with him. I informed him I would be birthing at home. He flipped out and quickly informed me how dangerous and insane that would be (he later called me at home and apologized for his outlandish behavior). I stood my ground because I knew in my heart that birthing at home was what I needed to do.

We found a midwife and started preparing for a home birth. It was so wonderful to finally be excited about our baby and not to be full of fear about dying. We gathered supplies and Tami came around 38 weeks for the birth that was sure to be right around the corner and we walked and walked and walked. And no baby came.

And then, in her 43rd week of gestation, Blythe was born. After ten months of throwing up every single day and hours of throwing up every 15 minutes throughout her labor, she was born! As I held her that first day, I fell completely in love with her, with motherhood, with homeschooling her, with devoting my life to her. All of a sudden, I knew what motherhood meant and it was not drudgery, it was not a waste of time. It was the most important work I could ever do. It was exactly the work God wanted me to do. It was exactly the work my soul needed to do to grow and learn and develop into the woman I was created to be.

It saddens me to think how backward my thinking used to be and I am filled with gratitude for my brave Blythe who came into my life before I even knew I wanted her, before I valued motherhood, before I knew how absolutely essential motherhood is to the foundation of each family, community, nation, and world.

She taught me that I am doing the most important work. I am spending my days teaching the next generation what it means to be good. I am teaching them about freedom, government, history, God, math, cooking, serving, patience, and family.

I am so grateful for this 14-year-old girl. Thankful for her courage to follow her own path. Thankful she chose me as her mother. Thankful she forgives me and gives me another chance. Thankful she was born at what I thought was an inconvenient time. Thankful for her deep, inner knowing and her absolute devotion to what is right. I am humbled to think of the love God has for me to have sent me a child I didn’t know I needed, but He knew I needed. He knew what motherhood would come to mean to me and how it would change my life forever.

Here are some pics of this beautiful girl:

Blessing Day

Blythe and Grandpa Ward

Blythe and Grandma Smith

Blythe taking a bath

Blythe and her papa

Blythe and her mama

Blythe with Andie and Grandma Dorothy

Blythe and Marcus at Bear Lake

Blythe and Stephen at Bear Lake

Two years old at GRL

Third Birthday at GRL

Crazy dress-up with her first cat, Spike

Four-years-old

5th Birthday

Another Birthday party…with Becca and Mikelle

Blythe and Andie’s birthday at Bear Lake

Somewhere around the age of six

Sevenish?

Baptism…and me at 38 weeks pregnant with Fisher

Eight-years-old with Keziah and Great-Grandma

With Grandpa’s horses

Pioneer Days rodeo…almost nine-years-old

Christmas at nine-and-a-half

Eleven-years-old

Twelve-years-old…beautiful, isn’t she!

Thirteen-years-old

Fourteen!

Isn’t she adorable!

I am so blessed to have her in my life and to have the privilege of being her mother. She has taught me much about love, patience, sacrifice, acceptance, putting people first, doing hard things, and so much more.

Most importantly, she was willing to come as my first child. Willing to let me learn how to mother on her. Willing to teach me the power of motherhood before I knew I was ready to learn that lesson.

Happy Birthday, my girl.

I love you.

grl top twenty

My favorite place in the whole world.

This little piece of heaven brings me peace, joy clear down to my little toes, courage to face hard things, and so much more. I am so grateful for these mountains, the frigid water, the moose that wander on the beach in the early morning hours, the wind in the trees, the sunrise over Osborne, the rugged sturdiness of Square Top, the seven little streams on the shady side of the lake, Mill Creek, rainbow trout and the mighty fishermen who catch them, the Sleeping Giant, Clear Creek Meadow, the tradition our family has had for forty years of camping there, the friends who join us, the strangers we meet, and the connection we all feel to this beautiful place.

Here are the Top Twenty from our Green River Lakes camping trip this year – in no particular order!

1. Watching Fisher jump off the bridge all by his little own self AND swim about 20 feet to me.

2. Scott pitching to Fisher.

3. Blythe and Andie’s 14th birthday parties…with 28 people at the first one and 18 people at the second. Plus, we got to eat two different birthday cakes and yummy ice cream. Good thing we have girls with August birthdays so we have a reason to have a big treat up there every year!

Guests at the first party

First Birthday cake

Head scratchers from Grandma

“LIfe is Good” shirts from Grandma

Annesley and birthday cake

Blythe’s Birthday book

Blythe’s new “Life is Good” hat

The second birthday cake

Andie’s new battery charger

4. Setting up camp three times in less than 24 hours.

5. Watching Jared and Fisher catch bugs together for hours on end.

6. Jumping off the bridge, swinging on Scott’s ingenius swing under the bridge, and swimming in the water hole in the river. Courage awards for bridge jumping go to Samuel (4), Fisher (5), Teryn (5), Christian (7), Jaxon (8), Keziah (9), Eve (10), Tiegen (11), Marcus (13), Tod (13), Blythe (14), Andie (14), Scott, Tracy, Camille, Austin, Tonya, Chance (8), Alyssa (11), and Logan. Yes, we are awesome.

Here is Fisher’s whole jumping process:

Watching everyone else jump

Thinking about jumping…how far is it anyway?

Being lifted over by Uncle Scott

Getting ready to jump

In the air!

Coming up out of the water

He made it!

In mama’s arms at last!

Andie on the swing

Teryn on the swing

Annesely

Fisher

Jared

Camille

Camille jumping off the bridge

Camille again

7. Beating Mom and Scott at Rook…I’m sure it is the first and last time that will ever happen.

8. Annesley and Teryn lovin’ on Uncle Logan. Teryn was basically glued on to him the entire time. Uncle Logan made them both bracelets and gave Fisher his own necklace to take care of till he can make one for him as well.

9. Going on a hike all alone with Camille and Tami (and of course, her little cutie, Jace). Yes, Tami came clear from Colorado to camp with us and Camille rearranged her college test schedule so she could be up there when we were there. Thank you guys for making my camping trip wonderful. I love you both!

Our hike was made possible by Tracy, Camille’s oldest, taking eleven children with her on their own hike. What an amazing girl she is!

Tami and Jace

10. Discovering my long-lost friend Tonya camped right next to us! It has been 11+ years since we have seen each other and 20 years since I first took her to Green River Lakes. Spotting her walking through the campground was one of the tender mercies God has given me. Thank goodness we decided to canoe across the lake at 6:30 a.m. on our last morning there. Beautiful mountains, good conversation, a bald eagle right above us, and two golden eagles flying nearby.

11. Lots of cousin time together…all told we had 21 second and third cousins playing with each other…not including our generation of 1st and 2nd cousins.

12. Swimming at the Aquatic Center on our way home with Tonya and her adorable family and then being treated to a delicious dinner by her stubborn and insistent husband, Ryan.

13. Keziah climbing on top of our new-to-us-given-to-us forty-year-old camper to put a tarp on top to stop the leaking from the rainstorm our first night there. She should be a mountain climber some day.

14. Playing softball with family and friends and watching Fisher tackle cousins to get the ball in his mitt first. He has come a long way from the shy little boy he used to be.

15. Logan’s dutch oven peach cobbler. Yummm!

16. Grandma playing Garbage with all the kids on her blanket in the shade.

17. Sleeping eight people and all our gear in a camper made for half that many.

18. Scott holding Annesley, Jace, or Taz on an daily hourly basis and helping them be happy while games are played, meals are cooked, or older siblings are attended to. What a great uncle he is!

19. Watching Sadie leap over Mill Creek and dash into the water.

20. Sitting around the campfire at night, seeing shooting stars, gorgeous constellations, and the Milky Way while listening to Scott’s hilarious stories with the people I love most in this world.

21. I couldn’t stop with 20…my favorite thing of all is watching my husband fish with a smile on his face and contentment oozing out of his body. He needs this trip even more than I do and I am so glad he got to fish and catch some big ones.

How many fishing poles can these guys use at one time?

Green River Lakes is not really mine, but it sure feels like it. It is the place I think of when I think of love, family, hope, fun, good meals, growing up, laughing with Camille, and of course, my dear grandparents. I can’t imagine a summer going by without this annual trip. The beauty and the majesty of these mountains is just what I need to get me through another year.

More pics…

Blythe and Grandma

Keziah and Sadie

Annesley and the worms

Fisher and Sadie

Mikelle, Andie, and Kez

Fisher and his papa

The cutest two-year-old ever

Fisher and his catch

Mikelle and Logan

Tami, Teryn, Scott, Christian, the handsome Steevo, Annesley, Fisher, and Richard

Blythe and Andie

passover

We celebrated Passover on Monday night and it was glorious! I love, love, love Passover. I love sharing it with others and creating a magical experience for my family and guests. We are in our fifth year of celebrating Passover and it keeps getting better and better.

It is a lot of work. More work than I think I can pull off each year, but it is totally, 100% worth it. I love the sense of mission it gives our family. I love being connected to millions of people who are doing the same thing at the same time all over the world. I love teaching my children about the House of Israel. I love the beauty of a Passover Seder. I love hearing my husband’s voice as he teaches us the story of the Exodus. I love lighting the Sabbath candles. I love reading books to my children about how other families celebrate Passover. I love how celebrating Passover is a perfect transition into spring, into Easter, and into the Savior’s real birthday.

We have had many people ask us why we celebrate Passover. The short answer is Exodus 12:17 where God says:

And ye shall observe the feast of unleavened bread; for in this self-same day have I brought your armies out of the land of Egypt: therefore shall ye observe this day in your generations by an ordinance for ever.

Leviticus 23, Number 9, Deuteronomy 16, 2 Kings 23:21, and many more scriptural references command us to keep the Passover.

But really, the reason we celebrate Passover is deeper than that. More personal.

I have always felt a strong connection to Israel, to the Old Testament, to Jerusalem, to all things Jewish, to the twelve tribes. As a youth I would devour books involving Jewish characters, Old Testament maps, and Sunday School lessons about the ancient symbolism. I planned to go to Jerusalem and live my life out there, studying the Torah, speaking Hebrew, and walking where Jesus walked.

That is not the path God called me to. Instead, he asked me to be a wife and mother. He asked me to homeschool our children. He gave me a different life. A much different life, but one that I love. One that I need. One that teaches me more about love, sacrifice, and faith than a life studying the scriptures would have because I am immersed in the trenches of giving. Giving to those I have grown, birthed and love more than my own life. Of putting someone else’s needs before my own. He knew my selfishness and self-righteousness would not be cured by living in Jerusalem studying His words.

So I am here.

However, I am trying to create a family culture of love for Christ. Of understanding of symbolism. Of thirst for the ancient truths that testify of the Savior. Of devotion to their Redeemer that is so strong it will last their whole lives through and will nourish them when they are in the difficult places of their lives.

Passover is one of my tools for doing that. The three hour meal is full of beauty that opens the heart, symbolism that opens the mind, and truth that fills the soul with knowledge.

Recently I have been reading The Hidden Christ by James Ferrell. In his chapter on Passover, he says:

In light of their enslavement, the Israelites had a real problem: They were kept from the covenant land that had been promised to their fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Somehow, in order to fulfill prophecy, Israel had to be taken out of Egypt. But, as we have discussed in earlier chapters, the covenants made to Abraham, and renewed through Isaac and Jacob were spiritual as well as temporal. Or, more precisely, the temporal aspects of those covenants were types and shadows of the greater spiritual blessings. The biggest problem for the Israelites was not that they were stuck in Egypt. The biggest problem was that Egypt had become stuck in them. In order to fulfill prophecy, Egypt – including the allure of Egypt – had to be taken out of Israel. Unless Israel could be reoriented to Christ, the blessings pronounced upon Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob would be for naught.

Our situation is analogous. We too are separated from our promised land – that is, we are separated from God and are not of ourselves worthy to enter into his presence. That is our problem. Be we have a bigger problem: We have come to enjoy the the things that will keep us separated from God. As with the Israelites, our hearts are not fully turned to the Savior.

…and like ancient Israel, latter-day Israel is in danger of becoming intoxicated by the power of the modern culture – the gods, for example, of entertainment, technology, and commerce. If the gods of our culture have captivated us to any degree, then we too, like the ancient Israelites, are in bondage in Egypt.

Given the similitudes, the Israelite story is our story, and their predicament is our predicament. This means that their exodus must be our exodus as well, and the key to their deliverance is likely to be the way to our own.

The heart and soul of the Exodus story – and our story – is foound in Exodus 6:6-8: “I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burden of the Egyptians, and I will rid you of out of their bondage, and Iwill redeem you with a streched out arm, and with great judgments.” And I will take you to me for a people, and I will be to you a God…And I will bring you in unto the [promised] land…I am the Lord.

Those promises reflect both a physical and spiritual deliverance. Significantly, each promise begins with the words “I will.” If we are to be brought out from under our burdens, or freed from bondage, or redeemed, or accounted children of God, or awarded a place in the eternities, it will be because Christ has affirmatively reached out to us with “a stretched out arm.” Without Him there is no promise, for He is the promise.

Thought provoking, isn’t it? I am so loving this book! If you want help unearthing the mysteries and majesty of the Old Testament, go get this book today!

It is my great hope that through our annual Passover Seder my children will learn the path of freedom both temporally and spiritually is through Christ, that they can absolutely count on Him to do His part and that it is up to them to do theirs, and that they are of the House of Israel, not just in words, but that they identify with it on a very personal level.

This is why we celebrate Passover.

This year we had the Lamoreaux family, our Bishop and his dear wife, and the Kessinger family join us. We are always blessed with wonderful guests who help make the night a success.

The table with some pillows already placed (yes, we sit on the floor and recline – it represents freedom from bondage because slaves were required to eat standing up).

A close-up of the name tags Keziah made for everyone:

If you would like to create a Passover experience for your family, I would love to help you. It is so worth it!

thankful thursdays 3/11

* Today we had the privilege of taking 170 books to F.A.I.T.H. – what a remarkable experience! I started the day off still agitated, impatient, and rather snarly, but delivering the books changed all that. I am filled with gratitude for the families that participated, the sponsors that gave generously, and the children that came today with big smiles on their faces to fill a bookshelf. I am grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in the world. I am grateful for fellow homeschoolers that came together to benefit our community and to change lives. I know the children at F.A.I.T.H. are going to LOVE these books. I can’t wait to do this again next year!

The empty bookshelf:

Posters about homelessness in America:

Putting labels on the books:

All filled up!

Some of the amazing home schooling children who donated books to F.A.I.T.H.:

——————————————————————————————————————————–
* Fisher Eli is an adorable boy. Today he said “I wonder if I will do colloquia when I get big?” I asked, “Do you want to?” He excitedly said “YES! When I am as big as Keziah! Do you think I can?” I love homeschooling and I love that we are to the point of seeing results. Having my younger children look forward to learning experiences that they have seen their older siblings and parents participate in is so fun!
——————————————————————————————————————————–
* I have finally completed Book One of my cello program! Woo-hoo! I am starting Book Two this week and hope to get through this book much faster!
——————————————————————————————————————————–
* My sweetie turned 40 and our children made him some presents from their hearts.

Fisher’s giraffe for his papa:

Fisher’s whale for his papa:

Keziah’s card for her papa:

——————————————————————————————————————————–
* I get to take Blythe and Keziah to Fiddler on the Roof on Saturday. It was their Christmas present from Richard and I and they have had to wait a while to get it fulfilled. We are all super excited to see this favorite play in person!
——————————————————————————————————————————–
* Razor blades and metal spoons are simply amazing cleaning tools. The drink holders in the suburban had melted crayons, stuck-on gunk, old food decaying into solid rock, and more flower petals than I care to think about…after soaking in Purification essential oil and scrubbing with these magical tools, all the grime is GONE!
——————————————————————————————————————————–
Time to go read Jerry Muskrat to Fisher…it is his new favorite book.

new looks

My lil’ sister came and transformed all of us with some new haircuts, waxing, and color. She is amazing! She did six haircuts, two waxes, two highlights, and ended up with a smile on her face at the end.

We tried to get before and after shots of everyone, but we forgot on Blythe and I and Logan’s is such a horrible shot I don’t think he would like it if I put it on here.

Annesley’s hair is extremely fine and flyaway and she looks like an orphaned child pretty much every day. Her hair doesn’t hold curl, barrettes, clips and ponytails don’t stay in, and it is a bird’s nest every morning when she wakes up…so we chopped it off. None of my children have ever had a haircut before the age of three. I like them to look like babies for as long as possible and there has never been a ton of hair to cut on my bald babies anyway…but Annesley’s hair has been driving me crazy for months, so I put my “rules” on the back burner and told Mikelle to give her an A-Line cut if at all possible with her wiggling and if not, just a straight bob.

Before:

In process:

In spite of Annesley’s bouncing, turning, dancing, singing, throwing her cape over top of her head, and all sorts of other nonsens, Mikelle created an adorable pixie cut. Annesley should be in a Peter Pan movie as Tinkerbell’s little sister. It is so stinkin’ cute!

I thought Fisher’s haircut was short last time, but this time Mikelle was determined to give him a missionary haircut. So, when I was distracted with other things she cut it WAY SHORT! It is really cute on him and it is going to be easy-peasy to take care of!

Before:

In Process:

All Done!

Keziah is growing her hair out, so she just got a little 1/2″ trim. Here is a pic of her cut in progress.

Pic coming soon…

Logan’s hair was pretty scraggly, which is just how he likes it. After his hair cut, it is still scraggly, but I think he looks great!

Blythe got some more layers put in to help her naturally curly hair have some more bounce and she got the leftovers of my highlighting goop to add some blond streaks. She also got her eyebrows waxed for the first time! She has always been beautiful and this latest makeover looks great on her.

Then there is me. I really dislike pictures of myself. I don’t photograph well and I hate the look of my crooked eyes, yellow teeth, and blotchy skin, but I am trying to own that this is what I look like and I need to be comfortable in my own skin…which I am…as long it isn’t in a photo! I love these A-Line cuts Mikelle is so good at giving me. It helps my enormously thick hair have a chance of not being as wide as a travel trailer and I think it looks pretty cute on me.

Richard is the only one who didn’t get a hair cut because he just got it cut two weeks ago.

joy pillow give-away

Dear readers,

My children are participating in the First Annual Idaho Homeschool Read-A-Thon and are reading to earn money to buy Usborne books for themselves and for F.A.I.T.H. – Families in Transitional Housing. They have been reading non-stop for the last 10 days and have been trying to find sponsors for themselves. I hatched up an idea to do a give-away to help them raise funds.

I made a pillow…yes, me the sewing impaired mama made a very cute pillow to give to some lucky soul!

Isn’t that cute!

If you post about this on your blog and link back to this post and then leave me a comment with your website’s post, you will get one entry for this adorable 8 1/2″ square pillow. For every dollar that you paypal to the read-a-thon, you will earn two entries. All entries must be in by Saturday night at midnight and the winner will be announced Monday morning. Let’s spread this far and wide! Just think, if 1000 people donated $1, they would reach their goal of $1000. Let’s help them do it!

To paypal, my account is mom2bmw@aol.com.

If you prefer to mail a check, email me and I will send you our home address.

Thanks much! My little ones are having great time reading and earning books and are so excited to give books to the children at F.A.I.T.H. – Families in Transitional Housing.

valentine, valentine, how sweet you are

This morning we were greeted by a festive table – red tablecloth, silver sparkly streamers, pancakes, raspberry syrup, whip cream, omelettes, and orange juice. What a yummy surprise! My dearest had been up all morning decorating and preparing delicious food for all of his Valentines…us!

He often whips up occasions like this for us – he is the resident cook for Christmas Eve, our anniversary, Valentine’s Day, my birthday, any day when I am not up to cooking, and every single Sunday…yes, I am blessed. It all started when we were first married and I had NO idea how to cook. Then I had two surgeries and months of having my arms in slings due to injured shoulders and Richard cooked almost constantly that first year of marriage. Ever since then he has been grateful whenever I DO cook.

My husband pampers me. He adores me. He supports me in all that I do. He rescues me on a regular basis. He listens to me when he really should be sleeping. He holds me. He believes in me. He builds me. He prays with me. He laughs with me. He is patient with me. He changes diapers, stays up late with babies, reads stories to our children, takes us all fishing, and is forgiving with my laundry habits. He is Mr. Wonderful…although he would die of embarrassment to be called that, especially in public. He thinks he is dull, boring as snot, and not at all attractive. To me, he is my rock, my friend, and my lover.

On other Valentine news, Grandma sent Blythe and Keziah some new adorable hats – here is Keziah sporting hers with her crazy smile:

And here is Blythe, all fancied up to go to a Valentine’s Ball last night with about 150 other homeschooled youth. Isn’t she lovely!

thankful thursdays 1/7

* Books. I know I say this a lot, but it is always at the forefront of my mind! Today I decided to redo several of the bookshelves in my house – actually I rearranged them. I took the bookshelf from my hallway and completely emptied it out (the books are still in piles all over the hall. I moved it to the kitchen and filled it up with all my Usborne books and the books I am currently reading. They now have a home so I can stop searching for them all over the house. My children had so much fun today discovering books they hadn’t seen in a while. While in the midst of this huge project we studied Asia, Vikings, ABC’s, spying, bugs, art, diggers, horses, numbers, and lots more. We had a great time and once again I was so grateful to have a home full of books that we can enjoy and learn from every day.
——————————————————————————————————————————–
* Fisher. This little boy is simply delightful. He and I had our Magical Moments With Mom this afternoon and he cracked me up. He would put a sticker on the page and then say “I’m so smart” or “Just as I suspected!” or something else adorable. We found bugs in his 1001 Bugs to Spot book and he giggled his head off when he would find all the bugs. He especially loved finding pink spiders and peacock butterflies. They were new bugs to him and he thought they were really funny. I don’t often spend time with just him, so our new once a week Magical Moment has been a real treat for both of us.
——————————————————————————————————————————–
* Family. We went to a viewing tonight for Richard’s uncle and it was amazing to see how many people a couple can bring together. This uncle has 10 children and they each have children. Then he had 5 siblings and lots of their families were there as well. As I looked around the room at all these people, most of whom I don’t know, I was grateful that God created families and that we get to co-create with Him and make these big families that love each other.
——————————————————————————————————————————–
* Mikelle, my baby sister. Mikelle was almost like my own child (she even called me mommy when she was little) and I have loved her fiercely since the day she was born. I named her. I have driven hours and hours to see her play basketball and volleyball. She has turned out to be a fabulous twenty-year-old that I love to pieces. She is getting married this weekend to a guy we all really like (in fact, we added him to our wall where we keep track of everyone’s height a few months ago – the sign of true acceptance into our family!) It will be so fun to be married women together, to be mothers together! Isn’t she beautiful!

——————————————————————————————————————————–

one year

It has been one year since my favorite person in the world left this earth. It has been a hard year without her. I can still hear her voice in my head and feel her kiss on my cheeks, but I can’t see her and it sometimes feels as if my grief will overwhelm me. Sometimes knowing she is happy and out of pain isn’t enough. Sometimes I want her twinkling eyes in front of me, her laughter filling my ears, and her knowledge of everything under the sun to be readily available.

Isn’t she adorable?

Just this week my children begged for me to make fudge and divinity with them. I told them “I don’t know how, I am not Grandma GG. That is who we need here to teach us.”

I miss her and selfishly want her back.