striving for

I saw a bag at TJMaxx with these words on it and knew I had to have it. Knew I needed these words in my life. More correctly, to be my life. I used $5.99 of my gift card to fund the purchase and have been smiling inside each time I read them.

Share
Dreams.
Inspire
Love.
Heal
Hearts.
Embrace
Spirits.
Nurture
Souls…

Yes, this is what I am striving to do. Striving to become. I believe this is why I was called to be a doula…so that I could learn how to love in this way and then bless families lives. It comes easily as a doula…it is so much harder on a day to day basis when my heart is not pure. When I am not focused on strengthening families, loving souls, and welcoming spirits. When I interact with people…people I choose to be frustrated with…people whose behaviors drive me bonkers. I yearn to become this person in all my relationships…to be a whole and healthy person walking the path of earth life with others in a way that enriches, nurtures, and heals. To not let my vision of who each of us are be clouded by the veil of mortality or let my interactions be based on the “truths” of this world that distort the real truth of the worth of souls and the purpose of our time here on earth.

These four births in the past few weeks have taught me so much about what these words mean. Each one of these families has asked me either in words or with their hearts to do at least one of these things and often all five of them. I have been tutored by my Father above to care for them in the way they needed and in the process my own spirit has grown. I pray I may have the wisdom, the humility, and the courage to treat all people this way.

Each day.

Imagine the world if we all could do this.

Bliss.

Joy.

Peace.

Heaven on earth.

I know I am not up to it now, but maybe over the course of my lifetime eons of time I will become a person who does this as naturally as I now have frustrations, pride, and selfishness come to the forefront of my heart. Step by step, day by day, relationship by relationship I will strive to treat people this way.

Will you join me?

a real man

What is a real man? Well, in the last three weeks I have attended three births with three very different families. As a doula, I am working hand in hand with the husband to help his wife have a wonderful birth. I walk the journey of birth with these families and especially with these men who trust me to help the one they love most.

A real man is one who helps his wife through her contractions by holding her, talking to her, and massaging her.

A real man learns how to do a double-hip squeeze and does it contraction after contraction.

A real man helps his wife to the bathroom and supports her while she goes potty for the 20th time.

A real man stays awake even though he is exhausted.

A real man reads Hypnobirthing scripts even though they sound hoky.

A real man thinks his laboring wife is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

A real man doesn’t freak out when his baby poops meconium down the front of his shirt.

A real man kisses his wife when she is hot and sweaty and exhausted and wants to give up.

I have spent a lot of time with some Real Men these last few weeks…what a privilege to see men fall in love with their wives all over again as they labor and birth together.

back to normal

I missed Thankful Thursdays this week. I have missed a lot of things lately. I missed teaching gymnastics on the 18th. I missed some of my boy’s birthday. I missed The Gathering Place Retreat. I have missed reading with my children. I have racked up a library fine by not making it there for our weekly check in – check out routine. I have missed reading myself to sleep. I have missed snuggling up with my husband as we drift off to sleep together – as I have been going to bed early to make sure I am well rested and prepared for a call in the middle of the night. I have missed doing the dishes for over a week. I missed a trip to Jackson with my brother and niece. I have missed time with friends, phone calls with loved ones, and much more. I have had to simplify greatly so that I could have the energy, spirit, and emotional resources I needed to be able to give as a doula.

But I have done exactly what I needed to do for families that are very dear to me. I helped two families journey through their pregnancies and welcome their babies into this world. Both families needed me greatly and I have been privileged to be part of their lives and share this experience with them.

I wish I had pictures of these two cuties – they are both big, beautiful babies and you would squeal with delight if you could see them. They have been born into amazing families who will nurture, teach, and love them the best they can. What an honor to have been invited into their sacred circle and help them through their births.

After the second birth late Friday night I returned home around 4:30 a.m. and caught about 3 hours sleep before Keziah woke me up to inform me that she was going to do a triathlon that day and could I please tell her where I had put her swimming suit. Groggily I tried to recollect the last time laundry had been part of my life and gave her some slurred information. It must have been useful because soon she was back all ready to go get registered. I threw some clothes on my exhausted body and took her to the triathlon. She did fabulous! She had a 75 yd. open water swim, a 1.5 mile bike ride, and a 1 mile run. It was a non-timed event and everyone was treated as a winner for finishing, but I am pretty sure she would have placed in the top 5 if it had been timed. She thinks she will do more of them in the future, so I guess I need to start looking for some opportunities for her in that arena.

Richard had taken the day off so I could go to the Mom’s Retreat and had promised everyone a day of catching BIG fish. When I had to miss the retreat because of the 2nd birth, he decided to keep his promise and go to Henry’s Lake. Even though I was incredibly tired, Keziah and I decided to make the trip north. I ended up sleeping the day away while fish were caught, cleaned, and measured. They were eaten this morning for breakfast by the fish lovers of the family.

I am full of gratitude for the events of this month. My two babies came safely and are healthy, beautiful, and happy. I know I had many people praying for me and for these families – thank you – we needed those prayers. Thank you for being a support system to me and my family and for helping me help families birth their babies.

Up next? A hike to the ice caves by Driggs, another hike to Mesa Falls, reading A Door in the Wall with Keziah, attending General Conference, attending the graduation and Presidential Banquet of The Midwives College of Utah, taking Blythe to the dentist, gleaning potatoes, picking apples and canning them, mentoring two youth colloquiums on The Lord of the Rings, and pulling together a Fun Fall Family event with cooking contests, treasure hunts, obstacle courses, races, and lots more.

I have pictures of the triathlon and the fish, but no time to upload them tonight, so check back later for those beauties…

new baby

I ended up spending Fisher’s birthday helping a dear friend to birth her baby. This mama was so courageous, so tender, and so noble in birthing her baby, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. It is always a privilege to attend a family’s birth, but this was extra special because she is such a good friend and their journey to this birth has been one of questions, worries, peace, lots of faith, and finally a glorious homebirth of an adorable, perfect little boy who melts the heart of everyone who sees him.

Thank you for letting me walk this journey with you…love you!