blog
a bowl full
It is early Thanksgiving morning and I am standing in the kitchen preparing food for our feast. Actually, my mama is preparing most of the food and I am providing the comic relief. So, I have time to type. I can do that and bring belly laughs all at the same time.
As an aside, we both almost peed our pants a few minutes ago when the turkey touched me while I was looking at it and, of course, my gag reflex kicked into high gear and I collapsed onto the couch in a retching fit.
My whole family is here…well, everyone except Leonard, my stepfather…he decided it was too far to drive for just the day…and Andie, my adorable niece that is spending Thanksgiving with her mama. We have been playing Rook, Battleship, Memory, Monkey in the Middle, and lots more.
I am so grateful my brothers and sister drove all the way here to spend the week with us. My little brother, Cameron, even flew in from Wisconsin and is here all week. He brought his girlfriend, Nicole, and we are having a delightful time with her. What a great choice he has made in her! After years of not seeing him, it is wonderful to have him here with us.
We are still trying to figure out Thanksgiving and what our traditions should be now that our Grandma passed away and our huge, day-long Thanksgiving party has been disbanded. I miss that celebration and wish I could convince my extended family to bring it back, but I fear everyone else feels it is time to move onto Thanksgiving within their own families. I miss all the homemade goodness, decorations, table games, family pictures, volleyball, basketball, big hugs, and seeing my aunts and uncles and cousins from far away.
My heart is full of gratitude today. I haven’t been doing my Thankful Thursday posts lately because I need my formatting fixed (hint, hint Jess!), but I have missed my weekly reflections and would like to share my bowlful of thanks today.
1. My Heavenly Father who loves me, hears me, blesses me, and helps me become who He created me to be.
2. My Savior, Jesus Christ, who atoned for my sins and suffered for my sorrows.
3. My husband who has dedicated his life to loving me and does so in such a soul-fulfilling way that I am actually becoming a better wife, mother, friend, and disciple.
4. My children. I love them so, so much. I also mess up all the time and they still keep giving me their hearts and their trust.
5. My family of parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I loved growing up in such a big family.
6. My inheritance as an American. I am so grateful to the men, women, and children who built this country on principles of individual liberty, self-reliance, the rule of law, and private virtue.
7. My association with fellow human beings. I love interacting with the other people on this planet and giving them part of my soul.
8. My friendships. The women in my life are deep reservoirs of strength for me. I am filled to the brim with joy that I am able to love and serve and be served and laugh and create and laugh and eat and love and hug and stay up all night and massage and laugh and make a difference in the world. The women in my life are amazing. Simply amazing.
9. My community of homeschooling families. We have such a lovely group of families that learn together, put on hilarious theater productions, support one another, and challenge our youth to do hard things.
10. My church community that fellowships our family and gives us opportunities to serve and grow and work together in God’s work.
11. My little community here in Idaho. I love shopping at our grocery store and stopping to talk to everyone I know. I love smiling and waving to people as I drive around town.
12. Books. I have a love affair with beautiful books and love to look at them, touch them, smell them, and most of all, to read from them. I am so grateful for the privilege of literacy. I am thankful to have a mother who taught me to read and then gave me free range at the library to check out oodles of books every week. I am grateful for teachers who encouraged me to read and challenged me to actually learn the deeper lessons from the books they exposed me to. I am continually amazed at the access I have to the greatest books of all time. I can buy pretty much any book I want, check it out at the library, or download it to my iPad with the swipe of a finger. What a world!
13. I am thankful for the sun. Its bright shining rays do so much for my soul. There is something magical about the hope I feel when I feel the warm sun on my face.
14. Cleaning rags. We have cleaned this kitchen a gazillion times this week and I can’t imagine how we could have gotten it clean without the plethora of rags I have stashed in this house.
15. Tami and Camille, my two bestest cousins in the whole world. They have made all the difference in my life and I shudder to think what my life would be without them in it. Right now we are at a time in our lives when we see each other far too infrequently and it hurts my heart to have them so far away.
16. A water heater that works! A hot shower with pressure enough to actually wet my hair in one fell swoop is a blessing without compare! We have been without a working water heater since August and it has been a long, cool road…but now we have hot water again!
17. My hip injury. Shocking as it seems to me, I am grateful for it. I am grateful for the pain, for it has taught me to appreciate being pain-free. I am grateful for the dependence on The Lord I have learned. I am grateful for the outpouring of love AND service I have been the recipient of. I am grateful for the month of meals my friends brought to me as I laid in bed. I am grateful for the ozone shots that have helped heal the cartilage and the dear friends who have held my hand while I have screamed and cried in pain. I am grateful for my Uncle Wayne and all the work he has done to help my muscles and ligaments to work properly again. I am grateful for the herbs I have used to aid my healing. I am grateful for the family history project I have embarked on and all the miracles I have been privileged to be part of as I have searched for my ancestors. I am grateful to have been so incapacitated by this injury, for I have learned to slow down and be gentle with myself. I have learned what a blessing it is to be able to move my body and use it to accomplish my goals and dreams. I am grateful for the people who have prayed and fasted for me. I am grateful for the kindness that has been shown. I am grateful for the great goodness of humanity that I have been blessed by. I am grateful for my children’s resilience. I am grateful to have this experience and to be able to be taught from on high exactly what I need to know right now to progress on my life’s journey.
18. I am grateful for working vehicles.
19. I am grateful for a big piece of property that gives us space to explore and have peace and quiet from the world.
20. A sister that cuts hair! She is here for the week and cute-i-fied (surely that is a word) all of us. I have a new do and a new color…so FUN!
21. Trees! Oh, the power of trees to transform my mood. I love trees of all shapes and sizes and colors.
22. Mountains. There are no words for how much strength mountains give me. I love the craggy peaks, the meandering streams, the towering cliffs, the trails through all the different types of vegetation, the meadows, valleys, and wildflowers. I would love to live on a peak in a rustic cabin and go on walks through the woods every day. Wouldn’t that be heavenly??
23. Toilets. I don’t mind disposing of my waste products in the woods, but boy, howdy, indoor plumbing is surely a great blessing in my life.
24. Knee-high socks. Oh, the joy of warm wooly socks that are full of zing.
25. My husband’s big arms that wrap me up in a tight snuggle so I can fall asleep in a cocoon of warmth each night.
26. Music. Music speaks to my soul and gets me to cry more than anything else.
27. Covenants that bind me to my God and to my family.
28. Scriptures that teach me truth.
29. Big bear hugs.
30. Birth.
31. My in-laws. Such good people who let me burst into their quiet family and continue to let me come back even though I am loud and obnoxious.
32. Beautiful fabric. I love looking at fabric and dreaming of creating adorable things for all the people I love.
33. Gator bites. This Idaho potato creation has gotten me through many a grumpy night.
34. Fiesta dishes. I LOVE my colorful dishes. I think they are the best things to eat on and wish I could give them to all my loved ones so they could experience eating nirvana along with me.
35. Sourdough start that rocks! I have so enjoyed making sourdough bread for the past year. My husband LOVES my bread and it makes me happy to make him something he loves so much.
36. Quilts. I love homemade quilts. I love looking at them, snuggling in them, and would like to learn how to make them so I can give them as gifts to everyone I adore.
37. Gym for meals. This is one of my favorite things in the world. I have a few families that can’t pay for gym with cash, so they pay me with meals. I often forget to cook meals for my family so meals brought to me throughout the month is a GINORMOUS blessing!
38. My mama. She is amazing in a million different ways and I thank my lucky stars to be her daughter. On a lighter note, I am so grateful that she has been up since six this morning preparing our scrumptious Thanksgiving feast. I have been writing this post while she has been working her hiney off.
Thirty eight big gratitudes for my thirty-eighth year.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
even in this condition
I met with my Bishop on Wednesday night for several hours. Actually, it was my old Bishop who has faithfully walked this hip journey with me, not my new Bishop who doesn’t really know me yet.
Anyway, he wanted an update on my hip, and my children, and my Jessica, (he is still Jess’ Bishop), and my genealogy project. We talked and talked and talked.
And then I broke down. Big tears poured out of my eyes as I told him how tired I am of being in pain, being incapable, and being needy. I told him about our desire to have at least one more baby, this little boy who we have been waiting for for so long, and how my research into labral tears and subsequent pregnancies indicates it would be foolhardy and quite incapacitating. I told him how I want to play baseball and volleyball and basketball with my children and how impossible that seems right now. I cried and cried and cried. I told him how silly all of my tears and frustrations are because I CAN WALK. I CAN FUNCTION. I am no longer bedridden. I CAN DRIVE (if I am in my suburban with the seat tilted all the way back and the bottom tilted all the way up). I AM TEACHING GYMNASTICS. I CAN STAND THROUGH CHURCH. I CAN, I CAN, I CAN.
But I still can’t. I can’t sit well at all. I can’t twist. I can’t ride my bike. I can’t play baseball with Fisher. I can’t go roller skating. I can’t be out of pain. I can’t have a baby. I can’t do what I used to do.
And the guilt. Oh, boy, the guilt at having such thoughts. At being so grateful for the healing that has happened, for the miracles that have occurred and still wanting more, still wanting to stop hurting. Sometimes I feel selfish for wanting more.
After I had cried (and cried AND cried), he gave me some words to think about. He said, “Tracy, can you go to The Lord and say ‘I will love you and trust you, even in this condition. How can I mother and bring my children to thee, even in this condition? How can I love them more fully, even in this condition? How can I serve thee, even in this condition? How can I play with my children, even in this condition? Teach me Lord. Teach me to love and serve and accept and be grateful, even in this condition.'”
These words struck deep into my soul.
And I am asking.
And He is teaching me.
celebrate goodness
Most people carrying heavy loads begin to doubt themselves and their own worth. We lighten their loads when we are patient with their weaknesses and celebrate whatever goodness we can see in them. The Lord does that.
Henry B. Eyring just saved my sanity by saying that.
I need to hear this.
I need to remember it.
I need to do it.
I need to live it.
My children were just as overwhelmed by the cleaning and cold water as I have been. They are carrying heavy loads of their own. I need to lighten their load by being patient with their weaknesses instead of pouncing on them because they are different than my weaknesses. Pouncing is what I did today.
Celebrating is what I will do tomorrow.
can i please learn to be kind when cleaning?
I shouldn’t post when I am in this kind of mood. I will regret it. At least I think I will. But maybe I won’t. Maybe I will look back in twenty years and laugh that something like cleaning with my children made me this frustrated.
I need to be in bed. I needed to be in bed an hour ago. But I’m not. I am cleaning my house that has been neglected the past nine months since my injury because in a few short days it will be full of Thanksgiving guests and they all need a clean place to sleep and sit and eat. I have kept a pretty good handle on the kitchen and dining room and family room, but boy, howdy, these bedrooms and bathrooms and sewing room have really fallen apart while I have been living in survival mode. And now all those rooms are needed for my family members who are coming to visit.
Meanwhile, my water heater is broken. It has been leaking and giving us very, very little water for months. I have been showering or bathing about once a week for the past many, many weeks and leaving what little water there is for Richard and Blythe who need to shower pretty much everyday. Whenever I take a bath, everyone else in the house gets one as well. It has been interesting. Washing dishes and laundry is a whole different ball game when there is no hot water and pitiful water pressure.
Our new water heater is here and Richard has been working all week long to get it put in…which means we went from very little hot water to no hot water when the old one was removed. Last night he was up till after midnight and it looks like tonight will be a long night as well, but he is determined to get it in and working so he can shower in the morning. He really can’t go another day without a thorough soaking. Blythe was so desperate earlier today that she boiled water in our big popcorn pot and took a sponge bath, then plunged her whole head into the pan. I am pretty comfortable going for days on end without showering and my hair never gets greasy so it isn’t a big deal, but I have to admit that I have missed hot water. Today I was scrubbing down the showers and baths with freezing cold water and I think I will have to wrap them up in a rice pack to get them back up to a normal body temperature. Cleaning filth is so much better when the water is warm!
Anyway, my lack of sleep, high stress at how I am going to get everything done before my family gets here, unmotivated-to-clean children, cold water, and massive frustration at my ability to keep an organized home put me over the edge today. I was not a mother any child would want to be around. I was grumpy and a taskmaster and I think I made every one of my precious children cry. All four of them.
Tonight we had prayer and song and scripture.
And apologies.
And I asked them to forgive me.
And I encouraged us all to wake up new people in the morning, ready to be kind and helpful and supportive.
May it be so.
I don’t think I can stand to be with myself if I behave like this again.
this is a great path
I love homeschooling. Love, love, love it. Not only do I know, absolutely know, it is path God wants us to walk as a family, I actually enjoy it.
Every day is NOT stellar. Every day is not full of cheerful children and an enthusiastic mama. But many are.
Today was one of them.
This morning Annesley and I were playing Addition Memory with the two cards needing to add up to five. First we laid out all the cards. Then she started her turn and turned over a zero. “I need a five! Hmmm, where is that five?” she shouted out with glee. Luckily she picked a five on that very first draw. Then with her eyebrows raised and a look of mischief in her eyes, she picked her next card. “Hmmm, a two. What do I need, what do I need? Oh, yes, a THREE!” Her three didn’t turn up that time and I finally got to go. Each turn of the cards by either one of us brought more eyebrow raises. After she made a few more matches, I told her how smart she is, to which she responded “My brain is sooo good at remembering where things are!” Then, near the end of the game when she made lots and lots of matches, she said “I am SO intelligent.” The whole time her eyebrows were bouncing around and she was pleased as punch with her brain.
Later we practiced violin together. She is a brand new beginner. We are working on bow holds, basic rhythms, foot positions, and putting the bow on the E string. She kept praising herself the whole time. “Look at my bow hold. My fingers have figured it out. I can do it! I can do it! I can play taka-taka-stop-stop!”
This little one has so much joy in learning.
Fisher wasn’t quite as enthusiastic as his sister. He wants to go outside, live in a tree and catch bugs and fish. But, after just a few minutes of working with me, his smile stretched across his face. We were playing a math game out of his Miquon book and making bullseyes with our math problems. He raced around the page figuring out the problems as fast as he could and giggling the whole time about how speedy his math mind is. He has his mind segregated out into different sections…his lego mind, his reading mind (which he is convinced doesn’t work too well), his math mind, his bug finding mind, his fishing mind, his speaking out loud mind. He believes most of his minds work pretty well and I am determined to help him know all of his minds are amazing.
Learning together as a family is hard work AND it is fun. It takes dedication and vision and a great big sense of humor. It is such a wonderful adventure to be on. I’m so grateful God led me here.
silly mustard girl
Annesley has been planning a daddy-daughter date for MONTHS. She has had it all worked out in her mind to go to Big Jud’s and get a big hamburger for her and her papa to share. She has told us over and over again that they will be going to Big Jud’s on their date.
Unfortunately, dates with papa take quite a while to make happen at our house because Richard’s schedule is a bit of a bear. So, even though she has been planning it for months, it still hasn’t happened.
She just had her weekly mentor meeting with her papa and then came into my room to practice violin with me. She informed me that she and papa are having their date on Saturday. I said, “Oh, what are you doing?” with a big smile on my face, knowing full well that they were going to Big Jud’s. To my great surprise, she said “To the movie theater!” I said “What???”
She quickly explained, “Yeah, we aren’t going to Big Jud’s because I would spend all my time staring at the mustard and ketchup. I HATE that mustard bottle!”
I have no clue what she is talking about. She has been to Big Jud’s exactly one time and I don’t remember anything about a mustard bottle or her staring at it or her hating it.
I think she makes these things up on the fly with no connection to reality. Maybe she has a future in Improv?
sacred sabbaths: great fullness
Yes, I know. You are all sitting at your computers with baited breath wondering when Tracy will post again. The number of days in between my postings is getting quite ridiculous.
I’m sorry. I have been a little bit swamped and trying to juggle all the parts and pieces of my life…but I have a LOT in my heart that I need to share, so I will try to start getting it out over the course of the next week.
Yesterday I attended a class and learned some amazing things about mentoring. Afterwards, Liz and I froze our hineys off while we talked for an hour in the brisk wind. But it was worth it because I learned about gratefulness.
Gratefulness = A Great Fulness
Isn’t that a beautiful way to look at it? We have a great FULL-ness and so we GIVE in Thanks. Our Thanksgiving is full of giving out of our thanks for our great fullness.
I have a great fullness in my life. A great fullness of love. A great fullness of food. A great fullness of compassion from others. A great fullness of women friends. A great fullness of strong ancestors. A great fullness of faith. A great fullness of popcorn. A great fullness of opportunities. A great fullness of beauty. A great fullness of books. A great fullness of warmth. A great fullness of fun. A great fullness of family. A great fullness of hugs and kisses. A great fullness of truth. A great fullness of water. A great fullness of cheer. A great fullness of connection. A great fullness of laughter. A great fullness of snuggles. A great fullness of vibrancy. A great fullness of learning. A great fullness of healing. A great fullness of safety. A great fullness of covenants. A great fullness of inspiration. A great fullness of smiles. A great fullness of trust. A great fullness of possibilities. A great fullness of challenges. A great fullness of blessings.
My bowl is full. And so I give in thanks. I strive to spread joy and hope and service and redemption and love and smiles and truth to all I meet. Sometimes I fail, but sometimes, sometimes, I succeed. Sometimes I am able to reach a person whose bowl feels empty and in that moment, my heart swells up with joy and my bowl is full all over again.
I pray for your bowl to be full.
the legos
Fisher: Do you want to know how it all began?
Me: YES! (Having no idea what he was going to explain to me…perhaps the origin of the species?)
Fisher: Wellllll, I started with my first idea. It didn’t work at all. There were a lot of problems with that idea.
Me: Oooohhh. (Figuring out that he is telling me about his newest lego airplane).
Fisher: Then I tried my second idea. It worked a little bit, but not that good.
Me: Oohhhhhh.
Fisher: So, then I tried my last idea and it worked pretty well. So, now I have an airplane. I guess that is good. Don’t you think we need to FaceTime Grandma so she can see how my idea worked out?
This little guy cracks me up. He thinks and thinks and thinks. He isn’t quick on the draw – he likes to twirl things around in his mind for a good long while before he speaks. Most people aren’t willing to wait around to hear what he has to say, but trust me, if you do, it is worth the wait. He will either amaze you with his depth or crack you up with his innocent ponderings.
Fisher LOVES legos. I never wanted a lego house and refused to buy any of them. First of all, they make a mess. Second of all, they hurt terribly when I step on them in the middle of the night. Thirdly, they are expensive. Jessica always told me how much her boys loved legos and tried to get me on the lego bandwagon, but I resolutely stayed far away from the little plastic pain inducers.
But now we have a lego house. One Christmas a few years ago, some wonderful Christmas angel gave Fisher an awesome set of legos. He played with that set everyday for the next many months. He went through the instruction guide step by step and slowly figured out how to follow the directions. He spent about a month on the first guide. After that he got much faster. Now he whips out creations left and right. He builds while I read to him, he builds during family read-aloud time. He builds while he listens to the scriptures on his CD player. He builds and builds and builds. The next Christmas he was given more legos from another Christmas angel (or maybe the same one – we have no idea who loves us so much to do this for us, but we pray for them to be blessed one hundred fold for their generosity to us!) and he started saving up all his pennies to buy little sets here and there. Now he has about five sets and is constantly thinking and creating more buildings and vehicles.
Thank you to the lego giver who started this great journey of learning for my little guy. Our home has been so blessed by the thinking and creating these ingenious blocks have brought into our lives.
Make It For Maggie 2012!
What an amazing weekend!
Saturday (last Saturday! Yes, a whole week has gone by without the post going live about MIFM. I will try to explain why later!) was our third annual Make It For Maggie event. Kat and I started this project three years ago because we felt absolutely called to do something for Maggie’s Month. We wanted to involve lots of people and to bless lots of people…and Make It For Maggie has done just that.
We were there bright and early getting everything ready for our participants. Thank goodness for Keziah, Courtney, and Rachel…they set up the chairs and tables in all the classrooms, hauled supplies all over the building, and served at our beck and call for three hours before MIFM started. Jennifer came early and we quickly put her and her children to work as well. Kim came and turned the gym into a lovely dinner arrangement with all the tables decorated with children’s books and a fall theme. My favorite was the Make Way For Duckling table which had a copy of the book and then many squash turned into a duck family.
Around noon our guests started arriving. I love welcoming people to MIFM!
I love looking in their eyes and connecting with their hearts and thanking them for coming to MIFM. I love helping people feel special…because they are and they can feel it by the way I treat them when they walk in the door.
Ted (Kat’s dad) made everyone involved adorable pink name tags. I nearly died when I saw how stinkin’ cute they turned out. Emily, our photographer, snapped this photo of me and miraculously I look like a human being instead the ridiculous blob I normally turn into when a camera is pointed my way.
Ted also made us signs for the whole building and printed out piles of spreadsheets so we could keep everyone and everything organized. Kat’s printer is broken and mine has been out of ink for many weeks now, so Ted came to our rescue and printed up whole reams of documents for us.
This year’s event was a late night affair with classes ending at 9:00 p.m. and our teachers were superstars and stayed engaging and inspiring all day long.
Anne’s Laughter Yoga is always a hit.
Keri’s essential oil goodness was a hit during the 8:00 hour.
Sheila teaching about raw food scrumptiousness with gobs of samples everyone loved.
Here are Jana and Kim, our Dinner Chairmen. They did a fantabulous job! We didn’t have to worry about it at all!
During dinner we had a frenzy of last minute bidding on our amazing Silent Auction items, a delicious spread of soups, breads, and desserts (confession, I ate five pieces of pumpkin roll!), a tear-jerking presentation by Jodie (Maggie’s mama) that inspired all of us to work together as families to make a difference in the world for the causes we are called to give our hearts, resources, and money towards.
All during dinner, Kat calculated the donations to reach our grand total. Then, in a pile of tears (tears were flowing all around, not just from Kat’s lovely eyes) she announced to our recipients just how generous this community is.
The Osburns
The Roughtons
We thought we had $5000 to dispense to our three families, but we have run into some mathematical errors and are still trying to sort it all out. We know we have at least $4500 to split between them and are now trying to pinch hit to get back up to the $5000 we thought we had raised.
I am so, so grateful to be part of Make It For Maggie. My heart is bursting with joy over the whole thing! I am thankful to have a philanthropic project that involves my whole family. I want to smooch all of our amazing teachers – they are what bring our participants back each year. I am thankful for our awesome group of people who volunteered to make it a success this year – Jana, Kim, Charlene, Amy, Emily, Ted, and Lois all contributed of their time and talents and greatly lightened our work load. I am thankful for Katherine and the privilege it is to work with her make a difference in the world. Every single year my whole soul is taught of the goodness and generosity of individuals, the power of community and the wonderfulness of this community, and the miracles that happen when I am doing God’s work.
Thank you. Thank you for anything you have done to Change The World One Family At A Time.
May God bless you.
conquering a poem
I have this daughter that blows my mind away. She has so much truth and goodness and power inside of her. She has a depth to her thinking that continues to surprise me even after sixteen years of mothering her.
She is taking a class right now called Sword of Freedom. It is about the Civil War. They have studied Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Across Five Aprils, The Dred Scott Decision, Abraham Lincoln, The Emancipation Proclamation, Amendments 14, 15, and 16, The Gettysbug Address, and To Kill A Mockingbird. They write papers each week, have movie nights to watch Red Badge of Courage, Gettysburg, Gone With The Wind, and other era-specific films, and last Saturday had a simulation of a battle over at the city park. Her mentors are amazing. They inspire these youth to work hard and put in hundreds of hours of study.
Last week, Blythe was asked to write a poem for her class. She loves to write and create stories, but she believed this assignment was out of her league. She hemmed and hawed for days. She said she couldn’t do it. She said she didn’t know how to write a poem. I gave up on her ever getting it done. And then, on Monday, she came into my room and asked if I would listen to her rough draft.
Blew my mind away.
Her words were so powerful.
She did it. She conquered a fear. She did hard things.
And it is beautiful.
She said I could share it with you.
The Brothers
My brother left that early morn,
He did not say to where.
He walked away along the road
And the sun shone in his hair.
Before too long I’d left home, too.
We marched away so strong.
The drums did beat so loud and clear
As we sang a Dixie song.
We’d beat the Yanks, we proudly said.
Our hearts were filled with cheer,
And in our haste for battle days
There was no room for fear.
But when guns roared
And I saw men die,
My foolish pride was turned,
And hatred took my cry.
We stormed across the battlefield
And swept into their band,
Heedless of the men that fell
And died on every hand.
But in the end we could not tell
Who’d won and who had lost.
There was no glory in the day,
No joy for those who fought.
And afterwards a silence fell,
And in my heart there seemed to ring
A deadly chapel bell,
Yet no mourners there to sing.
There seemed to be a serenity
As I walked among the dead.
Their faces twisted in agony
Did not seem of such hatred bred.
And then I saw a scene so real,
That I cannot forget.
A sight that stays in memory,
Far worse than mortal threat.
It was a Southern boy in a Union cap.
My brother lay there dead.
His blood was red upon his coat.
Dark blue was every thread.
In anguish I did cry aloud.
My tears did soak the dust.
I prayed it had not been my gun
That laid his heart to rest.
My cries did mingle with the groans
Of countless injured men
Scattered over the battlefield,
Some to never rise again.
These Yankees were not strangers here,
Not monsters like we’d said.
Every man, a brother was,
Our blood, like theirs, was red.
I am so proud of her! I can’t wait to read the next poem she writes.
I'm Tracy, a mama with big dreams, crazy ideas, loads of laughter, an insatiable desire to learn, and enormous piles of laundry.
