blog
in the pew
For the first time in six months I sat with my family on our pew at church.
ON OUR PEW!
I lasted about 35 minutes before I needed to go stand in my post at the rear of the chapel. It felt like a foreign experience to be able to hear my children’s voices while we sang the hymns and prayed together. I want to shout for joy to the heavens that I was granted this special gift.
If the pews weren’t angled so acutely, I think I could sit there longer, but the way they are positioned makes my hip joint come together at closer than 90 degrees and that is dang near impossible still. Maybe someday I can sit like a normal person again?
a whole new low
Last month I wrote about the descent. Yesterday it happened again. This time the unfortunate victim of my wrath was a Walmart worker who was simply doing her job, trying to enforce store policies that prohibit the trying on of underwear for reasons of hygiene. I pretty much lost my mind. I lost complete control of myself and yelled at her (really ABOUT her and the ridiculous policy while I was two feet away from her) while my mom and sister stared at me with mouths agape.
I must figure out a way to stop this behavior. It comes up every month the day before my period starts and it seems to be getting worse. Feeling miserable and weepy is one thing, yelling at an innocent, albeit snarky, human being is altogether another.
I want to write to her and apologize. I want to drive back to Utah and find her at her post at the women’s dressing room and tell her how deeply sorry I am for treating her like a non-human entity and behaving like a madman madwoman.
I want to feel like I am safe for others to be around on all days of the month, not just on the high progesterone ones.
Sorry for mortifying you Mom and Mikelle…now you know the descent I am talking about…the descent into craziness and terrible public (and private) behavior.
GRL 2012
I know I’ve told you before how much I love this place.
It reaches me in a way nothing else does. The trees give me hope, the trails give me constant-ness, and the mountains give me resolve. On an annual basis I am filled.
This year, I was a tad bit nervous about going camping with my on-going hip issues, but there was no way I could not go. You see, I need the air, the water, and the view of my mountains. I need them in a way I can’t explain. So, even though some friends were worried about my mobility and pain levels, we packed up and headed out.
I won’t lie. I was hurting. The drive was not enjoyable (except for listening to The Time Pirate…loved that part!). The bending and bouncing about did me in and I winced in pain for much of the last ninety minutes of the drive.
But, it was worth it. Rounding the last corner and seeing my mountain of fierce determination made the long dirt road all worth it.
The first few days of camp I needed help walking up the hill from the bathroom and overall I was moving pretty slowly, but after a week of my mountain air, something miraculous happened. I could walk up the hill with no pain! I could walk to the lake with no pain! I could sit skewampus in a camp chair! I could move quickly!
It was so exciting.
On day eight I tried to sit in a kayak, fully believing it was a huge mistake, but daring to try because I so desperately wanted to join in the fun.
It.didn’t.hurt.
Not one little bit.
HALLELUJAH!
I had SO much fun paddling up and down the river and across the lake. I felt strong and capable and most of all, healed.
Now that I am home, I am hurting a teensy, tiny bit, and I can tell I still have a bit of healing to do, but I believe I have made a huge leap in progress and am so grateful for it.
Now, on to the rest of the family’s fun.
Fisher and Annes fished and fished and fished.
And we enjoyed eating them.
Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the kayaks we got in a bartering trade for our rarely used Bass Hound boat. Best trade ever!
Love that we can put two kids in them!
Grandma getting in on the action.
A foursome
Fisher become quite the kayaker…he can even go upriver!
Annesley on the shore practicing out her paddling.
Showing us her muscles are big enough to go out on her own.
This photo of her cracks me up. I have no idea what she is doing…napping? Not letting anyone else in?
Blythe and Richard went on an 8-9 mile kayak trip in the wee morning hours of her 16th birthday. Here they are coming back into port.
Tired after their journey, but they loved spending those birthday hours together.
Then it was time for presents!
Her birthday book this year is Lehi’s Dream which has lovely artwork and and a fabulous discussion of the Tree of Life.
A laminated, typed-up copy of her recently received Patriarchal Blessing
Blythe’s birthday cake
Two days later we celebrated Andie’s 16th. She is so excited for her new Kindle.
A Life Is Good shirt from us.
And an iTunes card from Grandma…her smiles are quite silly, don’t you think?
Andie’s cake (these girls always blow out their candles together since their birthdays are just two days apart).
Aren’t they adorable…and silly!
By the end of our trip, I felt so great, I got in the water and went tubing with all the big girls.
Unfortunately I got dumped in the rapids and whacked my arm on a boulder, so I had to stop my tubing expeditions early. The girls kept going though and found better paths through the tricky waters. Since I was stuck in the middle of the river, my family jumped to my rescue. Richard, Scott, and Blythe were all determined to get me out of the river in one piece. I want to remember the look on my brother’s face forever. He came to rescue me and truly, I have never felt more loved by him. A moment to remember.
I didn’t go on any hikes this year, but these guys did. Here is their before-setting-off pic. This pic of Kez is SO her, ready to conquer the world..makes me laugh.
And heading out.
That cute little pink munchkin insists she walked the whole five miles (don’t know if that is true or not, but she swears she did). The big girls put Annesley in charge of holding Sadie’s leash and let Sadie pull her along the trail. Brilliant idea, me thinks.
Easton is almost two and has all of us wrapped around his finger, especially Uncle Scott. Those two are quite the pair. Here he is in all his cuteness.
And here he is jumping dropping off the bridge.
Mikelle’s funky socks…what a goofball!
There were ten deer walking through the campground and four of them that came into our camp every day. This guy showed not a lick of worry about us and walked right through our tent area regularly.
We had a hair washing day for Annes, Mikelle, and Grandma and Annes insisted on getting her hair braided…quite a task with her short A-line!
Annesley loves the camera and making crazy faces…here she is in all her glory.
Winking…or trying to.
We had so much fun…so, so much fun.
Watching my husband with our children fills my heart right up. Sometimes I think I will explode with joy when I see them together. He enjoys teaching, loving, and being, just being with them. And they adore him. All they want is more time with him and I am determined to make that happen. Somehow it must happen.
I am so thankful to my grandparents for creating this family tradition and to my mom for carrying it on. Camping in these mountains is exactly what we need…this year and always.
mostly done
Hallelujah! Twenty-four long hours after my last post, this new theme is pretty much done. I have a few more things I need to figure out, but it is two in the morning and surely time for sleep, don’t you think? Jessica cutified some things for me tonight and I want to throw a million bucks her way for making everything spiffy here at Wet Oatmeal Kisses. I can’t wait for her web design services to be widely available again so lots of other people can be cutified too.
The really fabulous news is Fix The Connection is back up! After fixing and fixing and fixing and NOTHING being fixed. I finally turned it over to God and told him I cannot figure this out and neither can anyone else. Please, please, please make this site work so people can find out about Richard’s business and he can help more people. Please.
And He did.
Just like that. He is amazing.
I still need to fix the Make It For Maggie site, but that can wait until my children are loved on, we finish unpacking, all the laundry is caught up, and I get some sleep.
Tomorrow I will get our camping pictures up…and Blythe’s sixteenth birthday…surely you are dying to see them, right?
i’m back
We have been gone camping to our favorite place, Green River Lakes, since August 2. I have a whole post I need to write about our camping adventure, but for now, I will just say one thing: grateful.
Right before I left, my host decided to stop hosting and I had to work for hours and hours AND hours to transfer five websites to a new server. After many assurances that all was well, I set out on my trip, but unbeknownst to me, four of my sites crashed. The amazing Jessica resurrected our iFamily site, though it still needs quite a bit of work, but the other three sites have been down for quite some time.
I have been washing laundry, getting Blythe ready to go to Canada, and working on these websites all day long. The good news is, this site is back up. The bad news is, Make It For Maggie and Fix the Connection are still down and I have almost given up hope that I will be able to do anything about it. Yes, I am about to scream!
Anyway, since I lost my site and my theme customizations, I decided to try something new. I am still tinkering around with it, but it should be improving every day for the next little while. In the meantime, enjoy tracking the plethora of changes coming your way.
Gorilla Poop
We are going camping soon and although I am running hobbling around trying to get packed, I also am intending on making Annesley’s Favorite Granola and some Gorilla Poop, which is also known as No Bake Carob Cookies.
The wonderful thing about this recipe is that healthy foods like sprouts can be snuck in so effectively, with little change in taste.
Gorilla Poop
- ½ cup Butter
- ½ cup Nut Butter (almond or peanut)
- ½ cup Honey
- ½ cup Carob
- 3 cups Rolled Oats
In a bowl, cream together butter, nut butter, honey and carob. Stir in rolled oats. Add in any or all optional ingredients. Spread into pan and freeze or refrigerate until ready to eat.
Allow to thaw for about 5 minutes, so they can be cut. Makes 16 – 18 chunks.Optional Ingredients:
- ½ cup Shredded Coconut
- ¼ cup Flax Seed Powder
- ¼ cup Carob Chips (or chocolate chips until your family is converted – then sneak in the carob)
- ¼-1 cup Sprouts (sunflower, sesame, wheat, buckwheat, pumpkin, etc.) Start small and add it in to taste.
If I get enough time, I may also make some of Jessica’s Raw Bars – they are SUPER yummy and I have been craving them ever since she gave me a bite on our last injection trip.
What are your favorite camping recipes?
t-g-s-r-r-p is finished!
Yes, you heard me right – The Great Sewing Room Rearrangement Project is finished!
We have been working hard for the past five weeks on rearranging bedrooms, decluttering, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and most importantly making our learning and creating areas useable.
In the past (the VERY recent past), our school room has been unable to house all of our fabulous learning stuff. It was completely unmanageable and consequently the fabulous learning stuff overflowed into the sewing room. Unfortunately, the sewing room was unable to hold all of its books, fabric, papers, notions, patterns, yarn, and endless minutia because it had insufficient storage AND it had five 55 gallon water barrels and five 15 gallon water barrels taking up the vast majority of the space.
I decided months ago that this needed to change. I decided I could no longer function with piles and pile AND piles of stuff throughout the room and no ability to access any of it without injury and avalanches occuring. Everytime we wanted to sew we would have to clean for several hours just to find the sewing table. If we wanted to make a craft, it would be a miracle if we could find all the parts and pieces needed.
So, I have dedicated my summer to this project – AND I AM WINNING! My school room has been rearranged and made more useful for this upcoming season of our lives and the sewing room has been emptied completely (yes, we spent an entire day draining all the water barrels), shelving units added in, a sewing table installed, and everything carefully evaluated for its purpose in our lives before being given residence in this newly created space.
I am so excited I could scream. In fact, I have been screaming…loudly. Now every subject has a box (or two). All our blocks and manipulatives fit perfectly in their stacker tubs. Our art supplies are easy to find. All our lovely fabric is arranged by color. Two sewing machines can fit on our sewing table so two of us can work at the same time. All our yarn is put away into more of those amazing stacker tubs. Everything has a place! And there is room for people to sleep in here when they come to visit! Oh my heavens, it is simply amazing.
This is going to change my life. I am sure of it.
We only get Richard for a few Saturdays a year, so he usually tries to squish in as much yard and house maintenance as he can, but this year, I have needed his help with this project and he has given me the bulk of two of his precious Saturdays. I could not have done it without him and I am so grateful he gave me his strong arms for hours on end.
Now that we are done, I am ready to enjoy sunshine and summer…too bad there are only a few short weeks left!
cards + math = learning
I am a huge fan of learning games. My house is full of them and my children love to play them. We have long loved the Math Card Games Kit from RightStart Math and I think every family, homeschooling or not, should buy it and play the games.
Today I learned about a free e-book, Acing Math:One Deck At A Time and it looks fabulous. I downloaded it and am going to buy Fisher and Annesley their own card decks for our upcoming camping trip. Then on rainy afternoons, we can pull out our instructions, and cards and familiarize ourselves with a hundred new games!
the new site is up!
I survived the descent and have been working on my computer ever since, creating the new iFamily website. Check it out, I think it is coming along smashingly. It never ceases to amaze me how much time it takes to get the website ready for each semester. I think iFamily should throw wads of cash my way, but of course, that isn’t how we operate in our little Mom School organization – we volunteer our time to create this magical learning environment for our families.
This fall I am teaching Hullabaloo, an outdoor game class where we will learn and play all the old games our grandparents played when they were young along with some new games from our day and age. What were your favorite games growing up? Please send them my way. I am making my list of finalists!
the descent
I dread this day every month. It is the day my progesterone levels plummet and I become morbidly depressed, irrationally irritable, and all things bleh.
It is a new thing. It started August 2010, when I miscarried for the 10th time, and it has happened every month since then. Every single month.
It is more than even I, with my super-bubbly, high-energy persona, can handle. Instead of being able to put on my happy face and either think or muscle my way through it, I fall into a deep chasm of moroseness.
I would like to figure out how to approach this with mindfulness, to appreciate the different perspective, and to use this time to surrender my outward self in order to become more in tune with my inward self. All of that sounds lovely. Unfortunately I haven’t come remotely close to that ideal even once.
Instead, I rant and rave and nag and complain about everything under the sun. I drive my loved ones away from me and bury myself in bowl of ice cream.
I would like it to be different. I would like to figure out how my body and spirit need nurtured so I can stop lashing out as I flail downward into the abyss. I would like to handle it with grace.
Grace.
Maybe that is what is needed. Maybe God can succor me in a way ice cream doesn’t.
I'm Tracy, a mama with big dreams, crazy ideas, loads of laughter, an insatiable desire to learn, and enormous piles of laundry.
