Mar 3, 2010

I have been thinking about this whole missing my grandmother thing and I have some thoughts…

I miss her a lot. This is true, but what does it mean?

At my grandma’s funeral, I was crying and an uncle decided to take that opportunity to scold me for not believing in the plan of salvation, for not having enough faith, for not knowing that my grandma was in a better, happier place. I have thought about his words quite a bit since then and have decided he was wrong.

Let’s pretend my best friend is given a wonderful opportunity to meet amazing people, to study and learn from the great masters in her field, to be free from pain, and to see her long-lost husband again. Let’s pretend she has to travel across the world to a place I cannot go and there is no technology in place for us to communicate by letters, emails, or phone calls. Do I want her to go? Of course I do. Would I ask her to stay here with me? No, I would be thrilled for her to take advantage of this great blessing. I would be happy for her…but I would still miss her. I would still long to hear her voice, read her letters, and feel her arms around me. I would still long to pray with her. I would still want to play games with her and laugh with her and make her her favorite foods just to see her smile spread across her face and her eyes light up with joy.

Well, that is just what happened.

I do know she is happy. I do know she is out of pain. I do know she is with her loved ones…but I still miss her!

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  1. Christmas was extremely hard for me this past year because it was the 1st yr anniversary of Dad dying. Especially hard though, was the guilt I felt for feeling grief at a time of happiness and joy… and because I felt I should KNOW better. After all, with the gospel I know where he is and that he is continuing in his progression. I didn’t want to call attention to it for the kid’s sake, but I still missed Dad so much.. to bake the traditional cake for Joseph Smith’s birthday (the actual day Dad died) seemed sacrilegious.

    Then as I stood in the grocery aisle staring at cake mixes I heard the spirit whisper to me, “Let the kids celebrate the birthday. For you, the cake can be a celebration of your Dad’s return home.” And that’s what I did. In my own private way, I allow myself to grieve and celebrate the joy of the reunions that went on behind the veil, while the kids get to still have the joy of Christmas. No guilt involved.

    Yes, your uncles was wrong. And yes, we still miss them. Terribly. But the Spirit helps us find solace and peace when we can’t find it ourselves.

    I hope your week is less stressful this time around! ???

  2. Sally

    I .like your conclusion. Very logical!