those little moments to remember

Jan 17, 2011 by

All children say hilarious or precious things we want to remember. My mother has been telling me for years to write them down and I almost always forget. We have had several in the last few days and I am going to put them on here so they are safely recorded for the annals of history.

Fisher sitting in church in his adorable olive green suit, white shirt, and orange, blue, green, and brown striped tie (one of his Christmas ties) said, “Whenever I put on my Sunday clothes I get a itch!”

Annesley picked out the opening song for Family Home Evening tonight and said we were singing “The God Who Is Going Away In A Manger.” We all tried so hard not to laugh out loud and embarrass her.

Annesley after Sacrament meeting yells to Keziah, who was trying to help her, in her VERY loud voice “NO! I AM GOING TO MY CLASS!” Yep, the whole congregation heard her.

Fisher taught Family Home Evening tonight and he was so serious about the whole thing. He acted as if he were conducting General Conference (worldwide meeting of our church) instead of our little family gathering. He committed all of us to be better followers of the commandments. In all seriousness he looked me in the eye and said “Mom, will you try hard to do better at paying your tithing this week?”

Pretty darn cute!

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another new girl

Jan 16, 2011 by

There is confusion floating around and I am here to solve it for you! We have two new girls at our home. One is this new creature that is waking up in the morning all on her own and one is our visitor, Eve. She is here doing a semester abroad to our homeschool. We are having so much fun with her and can’t wait to get a good routine all set up to create a magical love of learning environment for our two ten year old girlies. Eve is such a delight to have in our home. She is cheerful, helpful, creative, curious, a hard worker, loves to play games, loves to play hard…we love her to pieces!

She is taking all sorts of classes with us, reading books, attending colloquia, is in Liberty Girls, and is having a blast talking to Keziah all night long. I have always said I need more children and if borrowing them from wonderful cousins is the only way to get them, then I am going to beg! We are so grateful to Eve’s parents for letting her have an extended stay at our home and we promise with no fingers crossed behind our backs that we are taking great care of her.

Here are some old pics of Eve and Keziah…best cousins, just like their mamas were!

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a new girl

Jan 16, 2011 by

We have a new girl at our house! She was up bright and early this morning, all on her own. She turned her alarm clock off instead of me yanking the cord out of the wall after it has buzzed for HOURS. When I dragged myself out of bed to get everyone ready for church she was already dressed and ready! She ate breakfast! She moved all the snow off the suburban. She helped all morning! She was the first one to the car instead of the usual last one. She took notes all during church. She was cheerful.

Wow!

I don’t know what has happened to work this mighty change, but I hope it sticks around!

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jain and annes

Dec 8, 2010 by

The dynamic duo is here today. Together. For the whole day.

What do I mean by the dynamic duo?

Take two adorable spitfires, throw in some immense amounts of curiosity, a great desire to hide while being mischevious, and the ability to destroy things as only three and four year olds can and you have the dynamic duo.

So far today they have:

* put shampoo in Annesley’s hair

* found Grandma’s mints, opened up the plastic-wrapped tins, and eaten them

* scribbled all over the Make-It-For-Maggie paperwork

* emptied out our Christmas songs and spread them all over the house

* dumped out a gazillion toys, books, puppets, etc

* hid in the bathroom and put Blythe’s make-up all over their adorable faces

Now they are outside playing in the snow so I can catch my breath for a minute!

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annesley turns three

Nov 26, 2010 by

annesley turns three

My baby girl is so not a baby anymore. Ask anyone who knows her well and they will tell you she changed her name months ago to “Big Girl” and today she celebrated her long-awaited for third birthday.

Three years ago I gave birth to her in a fast, powerful, and completely healing home birth. Her birth was hard physically, as they probably all will be from now on because of my pelvic injuries, but emotionally and spiritually I was wrapped in tender care, bounteous love, and faith in my body from all who attended. Annes’ birth was exactly what I needed to learn to trust my body again, to heal my soul from Fisher’s birth, and to fall in love with childbirth again. How God worked all those miracles into one five hour experience I will never comprehend, but I know He did.

He gave me back hope.

He gave me back joy.

He gave me back faith.

And He gave me Annesely Aliyah, the most delightful child I have ever known. This girl is so full of joy, it spills out of her eyes and fills her world again and again. She helps me remember the important things in life are having someone to hold, someone to love, someone to trust.

I remember the last few weeks of her pregnancy were full of foreboding fear of the possible pain of birth, full of debilitating anxiety that I would not be able to birth this precious baby, full of great concern that I would be injured from her birth as I was from Fisher’s. One day, I felt her spirit send me the message “Mama, it’s okay. It will be okay. Just trust me, it will all be okay.” Everything changed. Her spiritual message was so strong that it wiped away my fear. I was able to move towards her birth with calmness.

And she was right, it was okay. More than okay, it was wonderful.

And it still is. Her life teaches me that it’s all going to be okay.

Annesley’s birthday party was attended by three uncles, one grandpa, one grandma, one aunt, one cousin, three siblings, and her mama and papa. She received a wooden food set, a pan set, an adorable skirt, a Life is Good shirt, and her birthday book, I Know That My Savior Loves Me. So many presents for a little girlie! We had ice cream cake and she thoroughly enjoyed every bite of her oreo and mint chocolate creation.

After her party, she was given a birthday haircut by her Aunt Mikelle. She looks like a little pixie.

Pictures of her three-year-old day:

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ouchie for annes

Nov 20, 2010 by

Annes, the ever curious and ever delightful girl has been into mischief tonight. First, she got into the balloon bag and took MANY balloons and has hid them all over the house. Then she shut herself in the bathroom and filled up the balloons with water. She also rubbed water and toilet paper all over the mirrors, got my favorite crafty pillow soaking wet, and covered the counter with water.

None of these things had any natural consequences to speak of. She lost the opportunity to have balloons, she lost the privilege to use the bathroom by herself, but both of those things are mom-imposed consequences, not natural ones.

Next, she learned a painful lesson chock full of natural consequences. A lesson I wish she didn’t have to learn the hard way. Miss Annes covered her face with peppermint oil. I found her screaming “my eyes, my eyes!” at the top of her lungs and quickly figured out what happened when I saw the oil lid perched nearby with no sign of the oil bottle. I called for Richard and covered her face with olive oil. Then I called Cami and she recommended Aloe Vera and Lavender, so we tried that too. After her screaming stopped, she lay silent with her eyes closed tight and her legs bicycling through the air. She seemed to be in shock so I bundled her in my arms and talked to her quietly. She responded to what I said, asked for some water, and then asked to call her grandma and Kat.

It seems as if her eyesight is just fine. Vision was what I was most concerned with.

I am hoping the redness goes away soon.

Poor girl.

I am really hoping the huge natural consequence she suffered with will teach her not to ever, ever, ever play with mama’s oils again.

p.s. And to think – she didn’t even have Jain (her usual partner in crime) with her this time to conspire with.

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because i love you

Nov 13, 2010 by

Annesley has this need to rub me. She rubs my arms, my back, my neck, my chest, my cheeks. She loves, loves, loves to rub me. Down my shirt, up my sleeves, all over and inside and more and more and more. This morning she was rubbing me once again (which about drives me bonkers most of the time) and I so I asked her why.

Me: “Why do you rub me?”
Annesley: “Because I like to rub you.”
Me: “Why do you like to rub me?”
Annesley: “Because I love you.”

Okay, pretty precious. I will try to keep putting up with it. Sometimes I am even able to enjoy it a little bit and envision it is a massage full of the biggest and bestest love in the whole world.

Because really, that is exactly what it is.

How could I say no to this adorable little cherub?

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keziah’s pillow

Oct 30, 2010 by

Courtney, Keziah’s friend, had a birthday this week and Kez was determined to finish this pillow she started at least six months ago. She finally did it and Courtney loved it.

Their were moments during the process that Kez was so frustrated I was afraid she would never touch a sewing machine again, especially my somewhat temperamental machine (or perhaps my machine is just fine and we are all inept). I am proud of her for persevering and that her love for her friend fueled her determination to stick with it through many unpickings and resewings.

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fisher gets a haircut

Oct 23, 2010 by

My little Fisher only allows his Aunt Mikelle to cut his hair. The problem is, Aunt Mikelle doesn’t live here, she just had a baby, and Fisher’s hair resembles a lion mane when it gets long.

He didn’t want anyone else to cut his hair. He kept hoping we would go down and visit Baby Easton and get haircuts for himself and Annes, but that hasn’t happened the last few weeks and the situation was getting desperate. The last few days we couldn’t see his eyes very well, and the bushy-ness in the back made his head look like he had a football helmet on.

Well, I finally convinced him to let someone else try and we ran out this afternoon for a date together. His hair cut turned out super cute and then he asked if I would take him to Papa Kelsey’s for fries. We had a great mommy-son date and now I can see his adorable freckles and sparkling eyes.

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Pretty cute boy, eh?

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keziah-kid

Oct 3, 2010 by

Today my Keziah turns ten. I have spent an entire decade watching this girl grow up. I cannot believe my time with her being in my home on a daily basis is more than half over. She is growing up far too fast for my liking.

This spirited girl has enough energy and get-up-and-go to accomplish great things in this life. She makes her plans and sets out to accomplish them. To nurture this greatness within her, her birthday book this year is All By Herself by Ann Whitford Paul.

All By Herself

This treasure of a book is a collection of fourteen poems about girls who made a difference. Some of the girls are famous like Amelia Earheart, Rachel Carson, and Sacajawea. Some of the girls are relatively unknown like Kate Shelley, Frances Ward, and Harriet Hanson. Each of the girls were full of zest, courage, and determination to choose right, serve well, and work hard. I cannot wait to delve into the stories of these girls’ lives with my Keziah. I hope she is inspired by them to use her gifts for the good of others.

Richard and I write in the front of each Birthday Book and this is what he wrote this year:

Happy Birthday Dear Keziah,

I am so proud of you as you take life on and learn new things. I love your energy and love of life. Never lose it. In this book there are stories of greatness and girls who DID! You have greatness inside of you. Have God, who knows you best, help you find that greatness. It is not just people who have their stories remembered in books that do great things. People of greatness are all around you. Find them and learn what makes them great. I love you very much!

Papa

See why I love this man? He knows just how to express the feelings of his heart and how to guide our children to goodness and to God. He loves being a papa.

This morning we were at Mikelle’s and Keziah got to spend some time snuggling up with Easton. The look on her face was priceless and filled with a gentleness we don’t always see on her determined brow.

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Pretty precious!

Right this minute, Keziah and Annes are snuggled up in their new room and Keziah is reading The Complete Book of Farmyard Tales to her little sister. This is especially endearing to me because not that long ago this was an impossibility. Keziah would not allow Annesley in her room at all. Now they are snuggled up together and both of them are so excited about it.

I am so proud of Keziah for allowing her nurturing side to shine through. She needs both sides of her to grow and develop in order to fulfill her mission on earth.

She has come a long way in ten years.

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triathlon number four

Sep 11, 2010 by

Keziah is in love with triathlons. She ran her first one last September, then did a freezing cold one in March, then one in July, and now another one today. She is getting better each time and today it really seemed like it was a walk in the park for her.

The water in the open lake was pretty darn cold. Even the kids and adults in the fancy-schmancy wet suits thought it was cold, so I know it must have been quite frigid. When she was drying off and hurriedly putting her shoes on, I was trying to get her to move faster and she completely stopped what she was doing and said “Mom, I am FREEZING. The water was FREEZING!” In a few seconds she pulled herself back together, hopped on her bike, and sped away. Since she is usually so independent, capable, and ultra-responsible, I sometimes forget she is a little nine-year-old that sometimes needs comfort and nurturing, and that of course she was freezing.

In her first triathlon, her running seemed strained, but today she flew down the path and didn’t seem winded at all. She finished strong!

It is super fun to watch her race and since this seems to be a passion for her, I just may need to get her some better gear!

Getting ready to swim

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In the water

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Getting out of the water and headed for her bike

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Finishing her bike race

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Running strong

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Moments after she finished…notice she is not huffing and puffing like I would be!

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Way to go, Keziah!

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annesley, the BIG girl

Sep 8, 2010 by

Miss Annesley Aliyah, the joy of my life and pretty much constant companion for the past 2 3/4 years has decided to become a BIG girl! What is a BIG girl you ask? It is a baby that makes the BIG decision to not nurse anymore and to fully enter the world of childhood.

To celebrate her BIG decision she got to pick out a Big Girl bike. It is bright green and she is loving it. She is still working on mastering pedaling and steering, but she is getting the hang of it.

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I am super-duper proud of Miss Annes. This is a big step in her life and after the first two days she is handling it really well. At first, she was asking to nurse every 30 seconds or so, then I would ask her if she had changed her mind and didn’t want to be a big girl. She would say “No, me BIG girl” and calm down. Thirty seconds later she would ask again and the same conversation would repeat. Today she has only asked to nurse once and I didn’t even make it to the conversation part before she started giggling and saying “Me Big Girl, Me Don’t Nurse!”

Some people wonder why I nurse my babies and especially why I nurse them past the first year. Here is a a list of 101 reasons why breastfeeding is such a large part of my mothering.

While all those things on the list do wonders for my research-lovin’ brain, what it really boils down to is this – it feels right, it feels like this is exactly what babies need, what God created mothers to do, and the best process I know of to learn how to be a mother.

I am so grateful for my breastfeeding experiences. I know I would be a vastly different mother if I had chosen to bottlefeed. I easily could have become a bottle-propping, leave-baby-in-bed while I do more “important” things, but instead breastfeeding forced me to slow down, to gaze into my baby’s eyes, to feel the prolactin and oxytocin rushing through me, and to learn that motherhood was the most important thing I could be doing.

I have now nursed for 143 months of my mothering life. That is almost 12 years of providing nourishment for my children. Twelve years of being touched much more than even I am comfortable with. Twelve years of wearing nursing bras (and let me tell you, Bravado Nursing Tanks are BY FAR my favorite nursing bra!). Twelve years of sleeping with babies. Twelve years of having super-amazing antibiotic milk to treat cuts, infections, and rug burns. Twelve years of seeing my children’s cute little faces light up with joy at the end of a nursing session. Twelve years of wearing shirts that don’t tuck in.

Twelve years…unbelievable.

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blythe’s gift to me

Aug 17, 2010 by

My oldest child recently turned 14 years old. I am still bewildered that I have a child this age. How can that be even remotely possible?

I thought I had written about her gift to me before, but I can’t find what I thought I said, so I am going to write about it some more.

Pre-BMW (Blythe Moriah Ward), I had far different priorities than I did post-BMW. In fact, I was a different person. I did not want to be a mother. I wanted to spend my life doing important things – like traveling the world, studying the Torah, and teaching people God’s ancient words. I wanted to be known for doing important things. I wanted to fill my time with scholarly research and the subsequent presentations of my findings. I wanted to stretch my mind and challenge myself with doing really hard things.

I had absolutely no desire to have a child need me. I had no desire to ever change a diaper again. And if by some chance, I was given a child, he or she was not going to interfere with my life, my plans, my needs.

Throughout the first three years of our marriage, all of this started changing. I decided I wanted to have children. I started researching the role and value of motherhood. I started arguing with my feminist professors who advocated a position of “daycare is best for children.” I began to feel disgust for the mothers I saw dropping off their six-week old babies at a daycare at seven in the morning and picking them up at seven at night. I began to desire to be a mother who would be with her children…someday.

But, I was still ambivalent about actually being a mother. I had been told by two different doctors that I would die if I tried to have a baby and we believed them. We decided we would not have biological children and would look into adopting when I was done with my college education.

And then, in spite of doing everything we could to prevent pregnancy, I became pregnant. I was not happy. I was, in fact, pretty much terrified that I was going to die. Not only that, it felt like a huge interruption to my life. I was in the middle of my Speech Pathology program and I wanted to complete it. I couldn’t see how it would all work out. I worried about my education and my job and my life and a million other things that seem so trivial now.

We decided to let the pregnancy continue…to just see what would happen. Our OB sent for the reports from the previous two doctors and he disagreed with their findings. He felt like I was not in danger of death and could safely be a pregnant and birthing woman. We were comforted, but not convinced. As the months of pregnancy continued, all seemed to be well, and I began to believe that the first two doctors were completely wrong.

At 36 weeks pregnant, when my uterus had stretched as far as it was going to stretch, our OB pronounced that my abdominal wall was sound, that it was not going to rupture as had been declared by the prior physicians. He said, “See, I was right, everything is going to be just fine.” At that moment, I knew he was correct and I also knew I could not give birth with him. I informed him I would be birthing at home. He flipped out and quickly informed me how dangerous and insane that would be (he later called me at home and apologized for his outlandish behavior). I stood my ground because I knew in my heart that birthing at home was what I needed to do.

We found a midwife and started preparing for a home birth. It was so wonderful to finally be excited about our baby and not to be full of fear about dying. We gathered supplies and Tami came around 38 weeks for the birth that was sure to be right around the corner and we walked and walked and walked. And no baby came.

And then, in her 43rd week of gestation, Blythe was born. After ten months of throwing up every single day and hours of throwing up every 15 minutes throughout her labor, she was born! As I held her that first day, I fell completely in love with her, with motherhood, with homeschooling her, with devoting my life to her. All of a sudden, I knew what motherhood meant and it was not drudgery, it was not a waste of time. It was the most important work I could ever do. It was exactly the work God wanted me to do. It was exactly the work my soul needed to do to grow and learn and develop into the woman I was created to be.

It saddens me to think how backward my thinking used to be and I am filled with gratitude for my brave Blythe who came into my life before I even knew I wanted her, before I valued motherhood, before I knew how absolutely essential motherhood is to the foundation of each family, community, nation, and world.

She taught me that I am doing the most important work. I am spending my days teaching the next generation what it means to be good. I am teaching them about freedom, government, history, God, math, cooking, serving, patience, and family.

I am so grateful for this 14-year-old girl. Thankful for her courage to follow her own path. Thankful she chose me as her mother. Thankful she forgives me and gives me another chance. Thankful she was born at what I thought was an inconvenient time. Thankful for her deep, inner knowing and her absolute devotion to what is right. I am humbled to think of the love God has for me to have sent me a child I didn’t know I needed, but He knew I needed. He knew what motherhood would come to mean to me and how it would change my life forever.

Here are some pics of this beautiful girl:

Blessing Day

Blythe's Blessing Day

Blythe and Grandpa Ward

Blythe and Grandpa Ward

Blythe and Grandma Smith

Blythe and Grandma Smith

Blythe taking a bath

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Blythe and her papa

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Blythe and her mama

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Blythe with Andie and Grandma Dorothy

Blythe w/ sunglasses and bandana

Blythe and Marcus at Bear Lake

Blythe and Marcus at Bear Lake

Blythe and Stephen at Bear Lake

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Two years old at GRL

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Third Birthday at GRL

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Crazy dress-up with her first cat, Spike

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Four-years-old

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5th Birthday

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Another Birthday party…with Cousin Becca and Aunt Mikelle

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Blythe and Andie’s birthday at Bear Lake

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Somewhere around the age of six

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Sevenish?

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Baptism…and me at 38 weeks pregnant with Fisher

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Eight-years-old with Keziah and Great-Grandma

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With Grandpa’s horses

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Pioneer Days rodeo…almost nine-years-old

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Christmas at nine-and-a-half

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Eleven-years-old

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Twelve-years-old…beautiful, isn’t she!

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Thirteen-years-old

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Blythe and Andie Tug of War

Fourteen!

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Isn’t she adorable!

I am so blessed to have her in my life and to have the privilege of being her mother. She has taught me much about love, patience, sacrifice, acceptance, putting people first, doing hard things, and so much more.

Most importantly, she was willing to come as my first child. Willing to let me learn how to mother on her. Willing to teach me the power of motherhood before I knew I was ready to learn that lesson.

Happy Birthday, my girl.

I love you.

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music video

Jul 8, 2010 by

The music video that Keziah was in back in March has finally been released!

The story of the video is that the children attend a very restrictive school where they are fed slop for lunch, given 5 seconds to play with one ball at recess, have boring lessons drilled into them day after day, and they are just supposed to live with it. They are supposed to be good little students obeying every demand of their teacher. One girl decides to lead a revolution and make some changes. She orders pizza, finds the key to the ball cage, and inspires all the children to escape.

Now, some of you may be offended at the disrespect shown by the children in this video…that’s okay. I won’t be upset with you if you are offended. It bothers me an eensy-teensy bit, but given what resources the children have to fight back, I think they used the tools they had in powerful ways.

I am thrilled Keziah had the opportunity to be part of making a movie. It was a great learning experience for her to see what goes into producing what we see in our media laden world every day.

Here is the link:

Taylor Swift Music Video for “Change”

Enjoy!

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the past eight days

Mar 24, 2010 by

Whoa Nellie, it has been a busy time and I have had not a moment to get on here and post.

Let’s see if I can even remember clear back to last week…

1. I had a horrible sore throat last Monday-Thursday. It was better enough to do gym on Friday (only out of my feelings of duty – I would have much rather been in bed), but I had to whisper a lot. Grapefruit seed extract in pulpy orange juice, Immupower essential oil, cough drops, and lots of time sleeping are what got me through.

2. Keziah was asked to be in a music video on Thursday and Friday. It was a fabulous (and COLD!) experience. She got to see a film crew up close and see how long it takes to shoot a five second scene. She was paid $50 for her work and has been treasuring that green bill ever since. The video will be available on ScatterTunes on Monday, so I will post the link for you then.

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3. Thursday we (well, I just had to get her there, didn’t have to lead the discussion or anything – couldn’t have anyway, I didn’t have a voice!) had Blythe’s colloquium on Bendigo Shafter (what a great book!), the music video, packing for our trip to the TJED Forum in SLC, and the Relief Society Birthday dinner. I didn’t make it to the dinner, though I tried mighty hard.

4. Oh yeah, back to Wednesday…when I drove Blythe to Shakespeare, my suburban did not sound or feel right. I was leaking lots of antifreeze and was fairly concerned that something was wrong. I called a mechanic we know and he came over to our house to look at it. He said there was oil on in the coolant and the radiator must have been damaged by the GHO. He said I absolutely must not drive it or I could lose my whole engine. Well…knowing we needed to leave for our annual trip to SLC in two short days I asked him to fix it right then and there. We bought a new radiator and all the fluids we needed to be replace and he got to work (he also had me get a zip tie to clamp the distributor down a little more securely and so far it is holding fabulously!). Several hours later we had a new radiator in place and found the crack in the old one. The suburban still doesn’t sound quite right, but we don’t know what else is wrong. It got us to SLC and back, but we know it still needs some more work. It has carried us far and wide for 210,000 miles and we pray it keeps going for quite a few more.

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5. Friday morning we had gym and the goal was to have everything ready to go before gym so we wouldn’t have to come back home. We Richard loaded the cooler of food, bags of clothes, and most of the rest of the piles of stuff a family of six needs for two days away from home (seriously, why does it take this much stuff to be away from home?????) When we went out for the final loading on Friday morning, I noticed Keziah’s bike was not on top of the suburban. I ran and grabbed it and some tie downs and set to work. The roof was covered in ice and I was mildly afraid of slipping off the top and breaking my arm (or worse!). With Chet’s (our friend and father of my gymnastics assistant) help, the bike was secured and we were ready to go…except for the stuff I still needed to buy at Winco.

6. I somehow made it through five gymnastics classes and then picked up Fisher and Annes and then ran to Winco and then picked up Richard and then got gas and then stopped at Wal-mart for more coolant and THEN we were really on our way.

7. We finished up Les Miserables on the way down. Fabulous. Truly. You should listen to the Focus on the Family production. It is so well done. While you are getting that one, get all of their dramatizations…Chronicles of Narnia (unabridged version so you can get every word of Lewis’ masterpiece), Ben-Hur, Silas Marner, The Christmas Carol, Billy Budd, The Hiding Place, Bonhoeffer: The Cost of Freedom, Anne of Green Gables, The Secret Garden, and Little Women. They may have more, but those are the ones we have and love. We have listened to them over and over and lent them out and everyone enjoys them.

8. We found our $40 Priceline hotel deal and after dragging all the before mentioned stuff up three flights of stairs, we made dinner, cleaned up, and fell into bed, exhausted and ready for a deep and restful sleep.

9. The deep, restful sleep? Well, it didn’t happen.

10. We were up and going early in the morning so we could leave by 7 a.m. for the TJED Forum. It was a wonderful day of inspiring classes, food for the soul, reacquainting with friends from all over the country and Canada, and so much laughter in Heather Burton’s class I almost peed my pants.

11. The Family Ball is my girls’ favorite night of the year. We finished up our classes, hurried back to our hotel, got everyone looking beautiful, and then back to the Hilton we went to dance the night away. Richard was so tired by this point (he had taken care of me all week when I was sick and hadn’t slept well at all at the hotel) that he just wanted to sit on the sidelines and watch, so I sat by him and watched the dancing. Fisher, of course, doesn’t dance – he is much to shy for that – but he did get up his courage to ask his mama to dance. It was adorable because he was so formal about the whole thing. He even escorted me back to my seat afterwords. Keziah enjoyed doing the Virginia Reel, working on her swing skills, and running around with her friends. Blythe looked simply lovely and enjoyed her time with her friends, but was quite disappointed in the boys lack of asking girls to dance. She normally is asked over and over, but this year, she was only asked once. She was pretty sad about the whole deal. Annesley demanded that her friend, Preston, dance with her and it was so stinkin’ cute. The rest of the time she ran around with her friend, Paige, and they twirled, donkey kicked, skipped, and galloped all over the ballroom.

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12. Sunday morning we slept in too late and had to hurry to get all packed up and out the door in time to attend our favorite church building in SLC. It is the old 2nd Ward building and has a beautiful stained glass window of the First Vision in it. We love attending the 14th ward and this year we were able to do so. This ward has people from all over world in it and is a melting pot of different cultures, personalities, needs, knowledge, and accents (my favorite part is the accents!) We had great lessons on Joseph of Egypt by a well-spoken, orderly, and spiritual man and then the Fall of Adam and Eve by a woman from Puerto Rico who handled the large group of sisters well and led a wonderful discussion on the topic with grace. This ward welcomed us right in and we had a wonderful time. They even created a Young Women’s class for Blythe and another girl who was visiting from Canada since they have no young women who attend the ward.

13. Grandma Dorothy stayed with us the whole time and took care of Keziah, Fisher, and Annesley. Let me just say she is the best grandma ever. She calls her grandchildren every day and talks to them, sings songs to them, and helps them get through diaper changes, stressful moments, and long car rides. She loves taking them out for ice cream, movies, and trips to the park…and that is just what she did all day on Saturday.

14. Did I mention yet that Keziah wanted to do a triathlon on Saturday? Yes, she did. And her amazing grandma said she would take her. So, they loaded up early and drove to American Fork for the Ice Breaker Triathlon. We are not professional triathloners, but Keziah wanted to do it, so we let her. According to my mother, everyone else there had two parents and several other people helping each child. Keziah had her grandma and two little siblings. Everyone else had wetsuits for the swim, and warm clothes for the bike ride and run. Keziah wore her swim suit and then pulled her swim shorts and rash guard shirt over top for the bike ride and run. Other athletes had expensive bikes, Keziah had her well-used one that is missing 60% of the seat and looks like it might belong at the dump. Spectators had on coats, hats, and gloves. Fisher and Annes had nothing to keep them warm. It was 29 degrees. Yeah, below freezing. Keziah was blue, frozen, and numb by the time she finished her 3.1 mile bike ride. Grandma told her she had done enough and wasn’t dressed properly and she could stop without doing the run. Keziah determined to finish and she ran one mile, in the cold, with shorts on, with frozen hair, and she ran it fast. What a girl!

Thanks Grandma for helping her get to and through this race. She loved it and is so proud of herself. I know it was a ton of work, especially with the two little ones…YOU ARE AMAZING!

15. After church on Sunday, we went to the SLC cemetery to find the grave of Gordon B. Hinckley. My mom has been wanting to take the children for awhile now and it was the perfect day to do it – no wind, not too cold, not too hot, and a few extra hours of time. My children had a love affair with this man. We all absolutely adored him and miss him greatly. Blythe sobbed for hours when Sister Hinckley died and again when President Hinckley passed away in January 2008. We went and paid our respects at their graves, touched their beautiful headstones, cried a little more, and then went searching for other headstones. We found President McKay’s, President Taylor’s, President Grant’s, the Hyrum Smith family plot, the Moyle family, and so many others that we had no idea who they were and loved making up stories of their lives. I saw a really neat headstone that listed the couple’s children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren – I think that is how I want my headstone – full of family. We had a picnic lunch from the cooler and then started on our way home. Ben-Hur provided the entertainment for the drive home…always a thriller!

16. Now it is Wednesday morning. H.O.P.E. is on Saturday. Passover is in five days. I have much to do to get ready for both, so I may not be back on here till next week.

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Home School Read-A-Thon

Feb 6, 2010 by

Blythe, Keziah, and Fisher

Blythe, Keziah, and Fisher are participating in the First Annual Idaho Home School Read-A-Thon. They have been challenged to read 300 minutes in the next two weeks. They are searching for sponsors for their Read-A-Thon and have created a plan to raise $1000. They are trying to find 100 people to donate $10 to their cause. If they read for at least 300 minutes, they will be able to buy books – 50% for their personal use and 50% for children who live at F.A.I.T.H. – Families in Transitional Housing. These are families that used to be homeless who are now in a program learning job skills, taking classes, and working towards purchasing their own homes. There is a library at F.A.I.T.H. for the children who live there to check out books from. They are in great need of books and are very excited that the home schoolers of Idaho have adopted them for their Read-A-Thon project. There are over 100 children from all over the state of Idaho participating in the Read-A-Thon and reading books to earn books for needy children.

If you would like to become a sponsor, please paypal your donation of any amount, large or small, to mom2bmw@aol.com or you can mail a check to our home (email me and I will give you the address):

Thank you so much for considering this cause!

With much gratitude from,
Blythe, Keziah, and Fisher

Blessings to each of you!

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throw up – what is it about my lil’ ones?

Feb 3, 2010 by

My children throw up. A lot. It is their number one response to stress, illness, allergies, and perhaps, Wednesdays. We have leather furniture because of this sad state of affairs. Today, the one piece of non leather furniture got nailed.

Annesley has been throwing up all day. She covered me from head to toe twice. She covered the toilet once, the snuggler once, the carpet repeatedly, numerous towels, the bathroom floor twice, the kitchen floor once, the island once, and herself over and over. She wants to be held. By me. No one else will do.

I had a lot to get done today, instead, I spent the day holding her and working on my mom’s new website. After hours and hours of tweaking, she says she is happy with it. You can go check out her musings at weighingmatters.com. She is a pretty funny lady and I think you will enjoy her thoughts on food, life, and family. She has been on a weight loss journey for several months now and I am pretty sure she is smaller than me now. She is looking fabulous!

Meanwhile, I will be here holding Annesley, having Blythe make dinner, and reading books to Fisher. I am looking forward to a long, deep sleep tonight.

Maybe a slow day holding a baby is just what I needed.

p.s. Now we have had poop added to the carpet, more throw up, and a chapter of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland completed.

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my fisher and a penguin

Jan 19, 2010 by

Today Fisher and I were reading one of his favorite Usborne books, How Deep is the Sea.

How Deep is the SeaIt is about a little penguin who has lots of questions about the world around him, just like my little guy does. Pipkin, the penguin, dives down into the ocean to see if he can discover how deep it is. He meets lots of other creatures on his journey and talks to them. Fisher asked me, “Can penguins really talk?” I said, “Yes, but they don’t speak English,” and he said “Oh, they speak Spanish?” It was so cute to hear him say the word Spanish, I don’t think he has ever said it before.

For those of you that don’t know, my Fisher didn’t speak at all till he was about 2 1/2. He said “mama” for the first time at Christmastime in 2006. He turned two in September. He didn’t really start talking to communicate till he was about 3 1/2. Even though he has been talking up a storm for the past two years, it is still music to my ears because I honestly didn’t know if he would ever speak. I didn’t know how it would all work out, but I trusted that somehow it would. They magic key to helping him find his voice was music. He loves music and so I started singing with him everyday. Simple songs that he could say a syllable of the last word, then the whole last word, then the last few sounds, then the last line, then the first line, then some of the sounds in the middle, then the words in the middle, and finally, the whole song. Music was our lifeline – with it, he was vibrant and tried his hardest to get the right sounds out. Without it, he was silent and the few sounds he did make sounded like utter nonsense to our ears.

He is still really hard to understand, but now he wants to communicate and he is improving his pronunciation all the time. Because he didn’t speak for so long, he has reams of information in his head that have never come out. Every time he says a new word I find myself jumping with glee on the inside because I know what a journey he has been on and what a struggle it is for his brain and mouth to work together to make those sounds come out.

Today’s word – Spanish.

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favorite playdough

Oct 23, 2009 by

This playdough is the softest, bestest (yes, I know it is not a word, but I love it anyway), most squeezable dough in existence. Fisher was begging for some today, so I thought I would share the recipe with all of you lovelies.

2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup salt
2 packages Kool-Aid (you decide the flavor!) Don’t use cheapo brands…use Kool-Aid
2 cups boiling water
3 tablespoons oil

Mix dry ingredients, then add wet.

Knead until smooth (Careful– it’s hot! It may take a minute or two before you can really ditch the spoon and get your hands in there!) You may need to add extra flour for desired consistency. Will be sticky for a little while, but then will just turn soft and squishy. If it stays sticky after 5+ minutes of kneading, add more flour. Sometimes I knead for awhile and then put it in the fridge for about an hour to cool it off and let it get less sticky and when I pull it out, it is perfect. You’ll figure it out!

Our favorite flavors are orange and lemon. They smell yummy and don’t stain hands or counters. Keep it stored in a ziploc bag with the air squeezed out and it should keep for several months. It makes great birthday presents and I always recommend it or make it for big sisters and brothers in families I am a doula for.

Try it, try it, you will see, you will like it in a tree…sorry, that is one of Fisher’s favorite books and it keeps running through my head as I type this post…but really, try it and let me know how you like it. Actually, I already know you will love it!

A funny story about this playdough is that when Blythe was little she had no idea what white flour and Kool-aid are used for by the majority of Americans. They were playdough ingredients to her because that is all we ever bought them for. Once at a ward party, she asked what was in the cups. I told her Kool-Aid, to which she pulled the most grossed out face ever. She was disgusted at the thought of drinking playdough ingredients. I had to explain to her that some people drink the stuff, to which she replied “that is a non-food item.”

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new words

Oct 12, 2009 by

uh-oh
bird (buuuurd)
more (mo)
side (siiiiide)
bite
goodnight (g’niiiiight)
hot (haaaaaa)
bye
fish (eeesh, eeesh)
quack (wack, wack)
cat
dog (dah)
duck
knee
toe
ow
cheekie (eekie)
freeze (eeze)

Annesley is experiencing a language explosion. She has started saying all of these words in the past week or so. She cracks me up because she is so proud of herself.

Her favorite word right now (and for many months) is “NO” shouted at the top of her lungs when she really means it or given in answer to every question we ask her when she usually means yes. “Would you like a bite?” we ask. “No” she responds, and then opens her mouth to eat it. “Do you want to swing?” we ask. “No” she says, and then runs to the swing with glee (this girl LOVES to swing).

It is so fun to watch her growing up. She is delightful even when she is driving me batty.

Her current approach to driving me batty? She feels that she owns the phone and that every phone call MUST be for her and no one else can talk. If she doesn’t get to answer it and listen to whoever is on the other end of the phone for a LONG time, she just screams so loudly that we can’t hear the phone call anyway.

Thank goodness my mother calls and talks to her several times a day. We would all go insane if not for her!

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annesley helps again

Oct 12, 2009 by

I tell you it is getting nearly impossible to get food on my table in the state I intend it to be in. Annesley is soooo busy and she loves to pour, stir, dig, climb, empty, stab, shake, and poke. This morning I was making waffles from a mix my friend, Kat, gave me to taste-test. Well, I had no syrup and no honey with which to make syrup, but I had promised the children waffles, so I emptied some jam jars, added some water and heated it up till it resembled syrup. Keziah and I finally had the waffles ready and the syrup was ready, so I called everyone for prayer. I looked over at Annesley and she had climbed up to the spice cupboard, found the Nature’s Seasoning (onions, garlic, celery, parsley, salt, and pepper) and had poured in TONS! Luckily she hadn’t started stirring it and I was able to ladle most of it out. For once I was thankful my children are so slow in coming to breakfast because even though I had called them I still had time to rescue the syrup without their noticing.

I am keeping it a secret until after they eat because they probably would turn up their noses at contaminated syrup!

I adore this girlie, but she surely keeps me on my toes!

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keziah elisheva turns 9!

Oct 3, 2009 by

Miss Keziah, this precious and powerful spirit that entered my life many years ago, is turning nine years old today. She has been a mover and a shaker since before she was born and she is full of at least five normal people’s energy levels.

I remember so clearly the night she was born. I went on a walk around 7 p.m. and told her I was ready (so incredibly ready!) for her to come and I promised her I would be a good mother to her. I promised her I would teach her the gospel of Christ and that I would do all I could to help her return to her Father in Heaven. I knew she was listening and feeling my words to her. I knew she believed me. I knew she wanted to come. But I still wasn’t in labor – not a single contraction had passed through my body.

I went home and swept and mopped the kitchen floor. I asked Richard for a blessing, then I went to bed at 9:30. Still no contractions. I figured this baby would come the next day sometime and I was grateful my mom was on her way so she could get settled in before labor started.

I was awakened out of my falling-asleep-reverie at 9:36 with a huge contraction. This was not an early labor contraction. It was not a 45 second contraction. It was a full on transition-like contraction. I could not move. I could not do anything, but lay there and try to relax. Richard came right in and started pushing on my back. He left after that one to go and heat a rice sock, but I called him right back in. They were coming right on top of each other and they were STRONG. He tried his best to fill the birth pool, keep rice socks warm, give me drinks of water, and surround me with encouragement in between contractions. But during them he had to be right there pushing on my back. He knows that is what I need to get through labor and nothing else matters except for his big, wonderful hands pushing down on my sacrum and giving me some measure of relief from “back labor.”

Thankfully he knew that I was having a fast, intense labor and he called the midwives and doula to come now. I had no idea that this was going to be fast and assumed I would be having these POWERFUL contractions for another 10 hours.

Contrary to all my training as a doula and a childbirth educator, I did not get off the bed. I did not have an active labor full of walking, lunging, and squatting. I could not move. By the time a contraction would end, I would take a breath and the next one would start leaving me no time to get in to a different position or even think about what my options were.

Finally, my mom and doula arrived. What a relief to have someone to look at, someone to hold my hand. I was so grateful they were there and that Richard and I were no longer alone.

I HAD to go to the bathroom. I told everyone, “I am getting up after the next contraction.” I rolled/slid/let gravity pull me off the bed and made it all the way to the birth ball next to the bed. I had a contraction as soon as I got there and was not going any further. Then I had a nice long break after that contraction, enough so that my mom said, “wow, this is a bit of a break for you” and I responded with much passion “DON’T talk about it! That means the next one is going to be HUGE!” Well, the next one was huge. It was such an amazing feeling to be part of this force moving through me and to yet be separate from it and to be evaluating what a contraction of that size and strength must mean. At the peak of that contraction, my waters burst from me, soaking the birth ball, the carpet, and the rice sock that was at the bottom of my uterus. Since I was the most knowledgeable person in the room, I went into caretaker mode and said “I need a flashlight. I need to know if there is meconium. Hurry! Get me a light.” I was already into the next contraction and couldn’t even move to look at the fluid, so I was trying to instruct them in what to look for. Craziness, isn’t it?

Even at that moment, I had NO idea how far along in labor I was. My mom had my second rice sock and tried to get me to put it back in its position under my uterus and I hollered, “No, I am soaking wet! Let me dry off first so that one doesn’t get ruined as well! It has to last another 8 hours!”

At the end of that contraction, I knew I had to go to the bathroom. And I knew I HAD to get into the birth pool. My mom and my doula went to the other bathroom and the kitchen to brush teeth and go potty themselves, figuring they would join me in the front room when I made it to the birth pool. I gathered all my strength and waddled as fast as I could to the bathroom, but when I got to the toilet and pulled my clothes down, my baby’s head was in my hand! I called out “I have her whole head in my hand!” Richard guided me to the floor and helped me through those last few moments before she was all the way out. Right then, my midwives arrived and caught Keziah. My mom and doula missed the birth and were shocked when they came back and I had a baby in my arms!

Keziah’s birth is a microcosm of her life. She is a great decision maker and when she decides to do something, there is no stopping her, just like the day she decided to finally come. She is strong, fast, brave, active, and determined. She was trying to roll over the night she was born and strained her little neck muscles to get her head to lift up. She walked at 8 months, ran (fast) at 10 months, and hasn’t stopped since. She climbed everything in sight as soon as she was able…like the dryer, the fridge, and the shelves at the library…all before she was one. She always knows exactly what day it is, what time it is, what direction we are going, and where every thing in our home is located (Thank goodness because the rest of us can never find anything. Now we don’t even try to find stuff, we just ask Keziah, and she will run and get it from whatever messy corner it is hiding in and give us a lecture on how weird we are that we didn’t know it was under 12 books, 3 shoes, some dirty clothes, and the train set!).

Keziah writes her papa and I love notes most days of the week. She likes to leave them on our pillows and surprise us. She likes to be packed and ready to go at least a week in advance of any trip we go on, but often is all ready a month ahead of time. She keeps the rest of us in line and knows what is going on with everyone at any given moment. She hears every conversation going on anywhere even remotely near her and is shocked that Blythe has no clue what is going on the house.

She cracks me up. She is hilarious.

She is a natural athlete and just completed her first kid’s triathlon. She outruns kids twice her size and outswims them as well. She is a great gymnast, cyclist, and is probably best known for her skill at “Capture the Flag.” I think she is pure muscles.

She just grew into size 6 clothes, but she still has to have an adjustable waist so they stay up. She really prefers to wear Fisher’s hand me downs (or is that ups?) as capris and I am constantly having to tell her to stay out of Annesley’s clothes.

She has a beautiful voice. I love to hear her sing, which isn’t a problem at all since she pretty much sings ALL DAY LONG. Sometimes I do have to ask her to stop after 10 hours straight, but most of the time it is a delight to my soul.

She loves the color blue. I think it started because Blythe loves the color pink and she didn’t want to love anything that Blythe loved. In this one area she has lost all of her good decision making ability. She cannot see that something is a piece of junk because if it is blue, she says she LOVES it. I try to convince her that the color of something doesn’t matter, it is the quality that matters, and then you can look at colors after you have determined quality, but all my pontificating falls on deaf ears because she is enamored by all shades of blue. There is simply no reasoning with her. We are hoping this phase will pass soon.

Keziah is a ball of energy. When she is gone, it feels as if ten people (and we don’t even have 10 people to start with!) are missing from our home. Every thing is so quiet. So still. So calm.

I love my Keziah-kid. She keeps me on my toes, brings a smile to my mouth, and helps me find my shoes nearly every day.

Here are some pics of her (notice how often she has a hilarious face…see I told you she was hilarious…

Keziah's Blessing

Keziah in car seat

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fisher eli turns 5

Sep 18, 2009 by

Today my little boy, my only boy, my “big boy” as he likes to remind me often, is turning 5. Five. FIVE years old! How did that happen I ask you? As I think back on his life I am filled with emotions of love and gratitude for his life.

His pregnancy was incredibly difficult. I wanted him so desperately. So achingly. So much. We had been through six miscarriages since Keziah’s birth and I wanted this baby to stay alive. I needed this baby to stay alive. And yet, I was struggling.

You see, I knew in my heart that this child growing inside me was a boy-child. I was terrified of having a boy. I did not want a boy. I did not want to raise a boy that might grow up and hurt others. I could not face that reality, for that is what I saw it as, a reality, not just a possibility. I wanted this boy so much and yet I was terrified of having a boy.

I made myself sick over this. I had an ear infection. Then a spleen infection. Then a liver infection. Then a kidney infection. I was making myself SICK because I didn’t know how to handle the fact that I was having a boy. After months of this nonsense, my Heavenly Father gave me the answer that I needed to have peace. Then all the fear was gone. All the craziness disappeared just. like. that. In an instant.

At 40 weeks pregnant, I was in a car accident which damaged my already very weakened pelvis. I was in a huge amount of pain, could not walk and did not know if this precious baby was okay or not. After determining that the baby was in fact okay and that I was in fact not okay, we decided to hold off on making any decisions about the birth for a few days. Since my babies are always born around 42 weeks we figured I had a couple of weeks before the birth. Then labor started – on the one day of the month of September that my doula could not be there and my mother could not be there. I immediately went into denial and said I was not in labor. In fact, I kept chanting those words during those early contractions, “I am not in labor, these will stop. I am not in labor, I am not in labor. I can’t be in labor.” I could hardly move because of the pelvic injuries and believed that my birth team would be missing two critical members. My doula rearranged her life and did come. My mother turned the manning of an entire volleyball tournament over to others and started on her way. Meanwhile, I was in the most gut-wrenching, bone-jarring pain of my life. I believed I might die from the pain. I couldn’t focus on the contractions at all as the pain in my pelvis felt earth shattering. I continued to labor trying to hold my pelvis together as best as I could. My yoke-mate, eternal companion, and best friend, Richard, pushed on my back for hours as I moaned and screamed in the water of the birth pool. He never left my side and believed in me the entire time. My doula looked in my eyes and told me I was strong. Her eyes were deep pools of strength that got me through each moment of that labor. My midwife nurtured me with her words, her touch, and her abiding faith in me, my baby, and birth. I was surrounded by strength and yet, I felt all alone. It is only now after all these years that I can look at it objectively and know that I was not alone. I was encompassed by these mighty women and their knowledge that I would make it through. At the time I had no faith of my own that I would survive.

Eventually, my waters burst out of me and this boy came swishing right out with it. In that moment, he was the most precious thing I had ever laid eyes on. He was here. In my arms. He had red fuzzy hair, just like my dream from years before of a little curly-haired, red-headed two year old running around kicking a ball. I was so happy that he was out! I was overjoyed that after years of waiting for him he had finally arrived.

I was still in a lot of pain. Overwhelming pain. The aftermath of his birth was difficult, painful, and seemed to be never ending. I was in a serious amount of pain for months. I was emotionally damaged. I was depressed. I was beaten down. I felt like a failure. And I was in love with this boy. Deeply. His spirit was full of gentleness, love, forgiveness, and faith. I talked to him about his pregnancy and birth. I apologized for all the conflicting emotions. I reassured him that none of it was his fault and that he was not responsible for any of my pain or heartache. I told him everyday, repeatedly how much I loved him. I held him, and nursed him, and sang to him, and carried him, and slept with him.

And now he is five.

I have made peace with his pregnancy and birth. I view it as a blessing now, for I learned much about God, about healing, about faith, and about myself. I learned the power of emotions to alter our body’s state of health or dis-ease. I learned that miracles happen. I learned that my husband is completely in love with me regardless of my body’s ability to function. I learned that little boys are a gift from God and that they are full of sweetness that can melt my heart in a different way than girls can. I learned that this shy little red-headed boy can bring me joy – and does so everyday of his life.

He loves airplanes, trains, tractors, fishing, Larry-boy, books, riding his bike, worms, a “tiss and a hug” (as he calls them), cars, tools, swimming, balls, “Annsey-goo-head,” his papa, and the color green. A few days ago I said “I love you Fisher Eli” and he said “I love you to the sun and back to the ground and to the moon and back to the ground and to the sky and back to the ground!”

That is a lot of love.

And that is a miracle. I thank my Father in Heaven for this precious boy whom I adore and who loves me more than I can even comprehend. He is my boy.

Enjoy some adorable pictures of my little red-headed wonder:

Baby Fisher and the girls

Baby Fisher & Keziah

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Fisher and Papa 1st Birthday

Fisher & Family Christmas 2005

Fisher in the tub

Fisher & Grandma in Hammock

Fisher's 3rd Birthday

Fisher's curls

Fisher in his suit outside

Fisher jumping off the GRL bridge

Red Shirt Cousin's Club

Smiling Fisher in his suit

Fisher and a fish

Fisher and Pirate Annesley

Ice cream at Mikelle's for Keziah's 8th Birthday

Grandma GG and Fisher and Annesley

Fisher & Annesley GRL 2008

Fisher & Annesley

Fisher and Bessie Boo

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cuteness times 4

Aug 31, 2009 by

My awesome sister, Mikelle, came up to visit us for the weekend and made us all beautiful. She cut Fisher’s, Keziah’s, and Blythe’s hair and she highlighted my hair way blonde, waxed my uni-brow so I look like a woman, and gave me an adorable haircut. Woo-hoo! We are lookin’ good!

She even waxed my friend Amy’s eyebrows as a 34th birthday present to her. She can now go into labor knowing her eyebrows are in place and her toes and fingers are painted.

Fisher got his first short haircut. I have had such a hard time saying goodbye to his curls, but he looks all grown up now and is getting tons of compliments. Here are some pictures of this cutie-pie (yes, with an empty toilet paper roll and a pile of towels on the counter!):Getting it cutFisher's haircut

And here is a picture of my blondness, although it is MUCH blonder in real life. For some reason I can’t get the light right with my camera to show reality.

My highlights

Thanks Mikelle! You are a gem!

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the blessings of homeschooling

Aug 28, 2009 by

Yesterday as I dropped Blythe off at the temple, my heart was full of thoughts of how blessed I am to be a homeschooling mother. With all the hustle and bustle going on with the “going back to school” time of year, I thought I would share why I love to homeschool.

We get to choose how to spend our days, what to read, what to build, what to learn about. We do not have to read a book or do a project unless we are drawn to it and choose to spend our time on it. We get to choose what time to get up, what time to do math, what time to study about WWII, when to clean, when to take naps, when to run around and play. There is no set schedule designed by someone else that tells us what time we have to do anything! We get to prayerfully decide what our family needs and how we can best accomplish that. We get to choose what program will work best for each child, where we read, how long we read, what inventors are interesting and which are boring. We can go swimming in the middle of the day. We can go to a park when it is empty and have the whole place to ourselves. We can choose which classes we want to participate in. We can have music lessons at any time of day, not just in that crunch time between the last bell and dinner. We can go to the library when it is quiet and calm and there are not long lines. We can have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together.

Blythe gets to go to the temple every week. I know that everyone could theoretically do this, but it is so much easier with homeschooling. She goes in the middle of the day before school gets out and the temple workers just love her. She and Natalie (the other girl she attends with) have been able to form relationships with the temple workers and feel comfortable and safe there. They are not part of a huge mutual group that can be treated as a group instead of as individuls, but are instead, two sisters in the kingdom doing their part to serve and they get to spend quiet time thinking and pondering in the temple while they wait for me to pick them up.

Gospel teaching is part of our entire day. It is the foundation of our lives and is part of everything we study. We have been able to read the Book of Mormon many, many times as a family.

There really are not separate subjects. We may be studying math, but we can nosedive right off into science, poetry, literature, or geography as things come up in our learning. There is no bell telling us when it is time to stop learning about one thing and start learning about another.

We don’t have to ride the bus or wait outside for a bus and run to catch a bus or have the children ready for the bus.

My children form friendships with people of all ages and from all over the place. They aren’t spending the majority of their waking hours in a classroom with people who are all their same age.

They are able to develop at their own pace without pressure to conform to someone’s arbitrary standards.

They get to really know how much work goes into running a house and learn how to do it themselves by working along side me for years.

The variety of classes we can participate in is rich and full and fabulous. My children have been so blessed by a variety of wonderful mentors who have taught them in art, music, poetry, writing, and so much more. They are able to be taught by people who have a passion for what they are teaching and are incredibly inspiring. On schedule for this fall is a Shakespeare class, Daughters of Royalty, Liberty Girls, and violin lessons. Of course, they will have the best gymnastics teacher as well!

Our family’s needs and each child’s needs get to be the deciding factor in our decisions of curriculum to use – not the curriculum board, not a teacher who doesn’t know my child, not a publisher who successfully got their products into the district, not anything but prayer and observation. My research is done with the question in mind “What does this child need?”

Babies are part of everything we do, so each of us learns to function with a baby interrupting, disturbing, or even destroying our work. I believe this will make parenthood (which is one of the main purposes of our life here on earth) an easier adjustment for my children.

We can read outside under the trees – everyday if we want to.

We can take off at a moment’s notice if we decide to go searching for something – like the trumpeter swans that we just had to see in person the day we finished Trumpet of the Swan.

Our year is not defined by the school year, but how we choose to schedule ourselves.

Our little children see what our older children are learning about and are getting a picture of what it looks like to work hard to learn, create, and study.

I get lots of hugs throughout the day.

The needs of my children help me to stay focused on mothering, which is my primary purpose at this point of my life. Do to my propensity to OVER-do, I could easily forget all about them if they were gone all day.

I get to see their faces light up when they understand something for the first time. I get to hear their questions (endless yes, but a blessing nevertheless!), give them my perspective, and really see how their minds work.

I get to spend one day a week with LOTS of homeschooled children teaching them gymnastics, but also guiding them in discovering how amazing their bodies are and how capable they are.

I get to read hundreds (thousands?) of books with my children.

I get to learn all sorts of fascinating things.

I get to fill my home up with books and watch my children love them to pieces. A library in our home is one of the best choices we ever made.

I get to be really good friends with the children’s librarian and she hand picks books she thinks my children will love.

I have a large circle of wonderful mom-friends who have blessed me, taught me, supported me, loved me, listened to me, and loved me. Our family is friends with other families, instead of a child being friends with someone who the rest of us have nothing to do with.

I love my life and need to remember how blessed I am to be an in-the-trenches homeschooling mother who gets to spend lots of time with my children each and every day. I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father told me to homeschool my children. It is exactly what they and I need to become the people He created us to be.

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green river lakes – now with pictures!

Aug 20, 2009 by

It is 12:39 in the middle of the night and I have stolen from my sleeping time to add these photos for all of you to enjoy. I don’t have time to describe each one, so just make up your own story for what is going on (grin)!

My whole family, all five of my mom’s children (yes, my little brother came all the way from Wisconsin – amazing! I really think he should just move back!), all five of her grandchildren, Leonard and his camper, all three of their horses, both of their dogs, and two special friends of Mikelle and Stephen came camping with us.

Some of the highlights: We had fun hiking, canoeing, fishing, swimming in the river, riding horses (thanks for hauling them all the way up there Leonard!), playing rook, spades, rummikub, dice, and mormon bridge, napping, playing in the rain, playing kickball and baseball (although we had numerous injuries to Fisher and several to the rest of us). Thanks to Uncle Scott, Fisher is now a proficient left-handed batter and can bat a football, a kickball, and a softball. Annesley delighted everyone with her smiles and kisses and has decided playing ball with Uncle Scott is the best thing ever. Andie and Keziah ran loops around the campground to get Andie ready for cross-country. Fisher was happy when he was fishing, eating fish, or playing ball. The rest of the time? Not so much. Blythe and Andie celebrated their 13th birthdays on the 7th and the 9th and Grandma Dorothy made them a pie. Blythe spend most of her time reading. I think she is trying to get through the Hardy Boys series as fast as she can. Shelby (coming all the way from Seattle!) taught us a fun dice game that we will be playing a lot in our homeschool this year – I am hoping I can remember all the rules! Logan cooked everyone a delicious dutch oven dinner with peach cobbler for dessert. Scrumptious! We had hail, sun, rain, snow, wind, calmness, and frost, usually some of each of these on each day. The weather changes about every 10 minutes up there. Scott made fun of me for changing my clothes so frequently, but you have to when the weather can’t make up its mind to be warm or cold.

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off to the woods

Aug 7, 2009 by

We are going camping today. My favorite thing in the whole world is to go camping. I cannot wait to be there…but this has been such a busy week that I am just starting to pack this morning. Hopefully we can pull it together quickly and get on the road. I need the respite of the woods more this year than any other time of my life. I need to pull my little ones close to me while we sit around the fire. I need to hear the birds in the trees and see the squeakies run around chattering to each other. I need to see moose ambling through the trees. I need to go on some good hikes. I need to drink fresh, cold, clear water. I need to see these mountains up close and personal:Green River Lakes

I need to breathe the mountain air. I need to see my brothers and sisters…all of them will be there for the first time in YEARS. I need to forget the stress of money, bills, cleaning, jobs and doing and just be. I need to be.

I have a baby due right now and I am praying he stays put till I get back, but if he decides to come I know the mama is in good hands and will be surrounded by love.

Today is Blythe’s 13th birthday. I have so much I want to say about that, but the mountains are calling, so I am going to finish packing, wrap her presents, and be ready to wrap her in my arms when she returns home to me from Girls’ Camp in a few hours.

See how she’s grown into a beautiful young lady? Amazing!

Blythe's Blessing DayBlythe at 4Blythe Nov 2007

See you in a few!

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big boy on a bike

Aug 6, 2009 by

Woohoo! Fisher rode his bike today without training wheels! He is a pro at it now. On Tuesday night he begged Richard to take off his training wheels, but Richard only took one off. This morning he begged Keziah to take off the other one. She, of course, did it immediately with her trusty tool kit. He got right on and rode down the road and was even able to turn around. He yelled out in pure glee “I did it, I did it!” He was so stinkin’ proud of himself and had a grin from ear to ear.

A few bike rides later he crashed into our big pine tree and came up with a head full of pine needles and a face full of scratches, but even that didn’t deter him. He went right back out and rode some more.

Way to go Fisher!

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gethsemane

Jul 12, 2009 by

KeziahKeziah sang a beautiful song in Sacrament meeting today. It is one of our favorites and she did a fantastic job! She sang strong and clear and looked right out at the audience. I am so proud of her! I had a lot of people ask about the song afterwards so I am posting it here so you can all have the words.

Jesus climbed the hill
to the garden still.
His steps were heavy and slow.
Love and a prayer
took Him there
to the place only He could go.

Gethsemane,
Jesus loves me.
So He went willingly
to Gethsemane.

He felt all that was sad,
wicked or bad,
all the pain we would ever know.
While His friends were asleep
He fought to keep
His promise made long ago.

Gethsemane,
Jesus loves me.
So He went willingly
to Gethsemane.

The hardest thing that ever was done,
the greatest pain that ever was known,
the biggest battle that ever was won,
this was done by Jesus!
The fight was won by Jesus.

Gethsemane,
Jesus loves me.
So gave his gift to me
in Gethsemane

Gethsemane,
Jesus loves me.
So He gives His gift to me
from Gethsemane.

“Gethsemane” written by Roger and Melanie Hoffman

The song is on the album Stories of Jesus, which you can buy at www.hoffmanhouse.com or at Deseret Book . I cannot express to you how much I LOVE this album. It has 15 amazing songs on it that teach the entire life of Jesus from birth to resurrection. Fisher received this CD for his birthday last year and listened to it each night as he went to bed for at least 6 months.

You can get a download of the album’s instrumental tracks for $6.99, or you can buy the download on iTunes for $9.99. You can get the CD from Hoffman House for 15.98 or if you must have it tomorrow morning, it is at Deseret Book for $16.98 (remember to use a 25% off coupon!)

We also have Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy and Sunday, Sunday, Day of Joy! by the same people at Hoffman House. Both of these albums are downloadable for only $6.99! We sing these songs all the time and I can’t imagine our family life without them. There is a song on Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy called “I Know Jesus Lives” that I am currently in love with. It is a little child singing how he knows that 2 + 2 is 4 and he knows the colors in his crayon box, but the most important thing he knows is “I know Jesus lives, I know He’s my friend, He gave His life for me and His love never ends.” Isn’t that lovely! It gives me a renewed effort as a homeschooling mom to reinforce that even though I know lots of things about food, space, books, countries, math, languages, birth, friendship, public speaking, the Constitution, my ancestors, poetry, music, and the scriptures, that the MOST important thing I know is that Jesus lives and that He loves me enough to die for me and provide a way back to my Father.

These CDs are produced by the same people who gave us Scripture Scouts, which I see as indispensable! If you do not own Scripture Scouts figure out a way to get them! There are 5 albums: Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Articles of Faith, and the Proclamation on the Family. Our family has listened to them for about 10 years now and even though we have heard them hundreds of times, we STILL love them. I can think of no better, easier or more fun way for children to learn AND remember all the stories of the scriptures than by listening and singing along with Scripture Scouts. Trust me, you will fall in love with Boo, Baby, Skyler, and Sue.

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my great, but of course, crazy, deals

Jun 17, 2009 by

Yesterday I was in Idaho Falls running errands – going to “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything,” the park, the fabric store for the girls to buy some fabric for new capris and skirts (.99 fat quarters!), and FastSigns to pick up The Celebration of Liberty banners (they look fabulous!). We had already had a very long day when at about 6:00 p.m. I looked in my friend Kat’s van. It was full of Ragu Spaghetti sauce – like hundreds of jars full – amazing! She quickly informed me about a sale at Albertson’s, a coupon on a spanish website, and an extra $10 coupon you get when you buy $25 of approved items. Exhausted but determined to get a great deal, I returned home to start printing coupons. I called Amy and she wanted in on the deal as well. By 10 p.m. we were ready. I had been printing and cutting over a hundred coupons for 3 1/2 hours. I called all the Albertson’s to find out which stores had Ragu left (only Rexburg and 17th Street) and my friend Amy and I set out on our quest. We did 10 separate transactions of 16 jars + 1 additional item (cheerios, brownie mix and best of all, Breyer’s All Natural Mint Ice Cream) …in order to get the $10 coupon for every $25 purchase…and spent between $8.50 and $10.00 on each one. It took a long, long time. Our fabulous checker typed in all the coupons, rang up the outrageous amount of goods, and talked with us even though it was closing in on midnight. She ripped a huge hole in her pants while she rang us up and had to wrap a rain coat around her waist to cover it up…and still she laughed! Amy bought 64 jars and I took 98 – woohoo, we haven’t had spaghetti sauce for a long time. I like to make it from scratch, but right now I am out of tomato sauce AND tomato paste and it is a long time till canning season. I hope we are stocked for at least 2 years! Here is a picture of my loot:

$.50 Pasta Sauce

I got home around 1 a.m. tickled pink at my great couponing and thrilled that Richard was waiting up for me to bring everything in…yes, he is amazing and needs to be cloned. As a reward for all our hard work, Richard and I ate the whole container of Breyer’s…yummmm.

Keziah went out this morning and took pictures of all her animals. Here are some of them:

Nat

Chickies

Laying Hens

Keziah and Shine

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smooshed finger

Jun 16, 2009 by

Yes, I know that “smooshed” isn’t actually a word, but what fun is language if you can’t make up new words? Shakespeare did it all the time, so it must be good, right?

Yesterday Annesley’s hand was completely closed in our front door. The door slammed on her and her little pinkie was all the way inside along with some of her little hand. It was smooshed quite flat after we got it out and then it started swelling up. A lot. Three times bigger than her other pinkie. She cried and cried and cried some more and then finally I got her interested in some ants outside and then she was quite happy.

Here are some pics:

Annesley's Smooshed Finger

Smooshed Finger Take Two

We put arnica on it last night and she seemed to be out of pain by bedtime…we’ll see how it is today when she wakes up.

We are off to Idaho Falls today to see “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” It is playing at Edward’s at 10 a.m. for FREE and Fisher loves, loves, loves Veggie Tales, so we are going and I’m going to love it, right??!!

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angels and beasts and eyes, oh my!

Jun 11, 2009 by

Last night we had our best scripture study EVER! We have been reading scriptures as a family for years and we have had some fabulous discussions, but last night was THE best. For the past few days we have been reading D & C 76, which is full of power and truth and testimony. I think we spent 5 or 6 days on that one section because of all the questions our children had as we read along, such as “what is a son of perdition,” “who goes to the telestial kingdom,” and “what does it mean to deny the Holy Ghost?”

Last night, we got to Section 77, which is Joseph’s inquiries about The Book of Revelation. Now, I have a daughter who is obsessed with Lord of the Rings, obsessed with imaginary worlds, obsessed with dragons and beasts. So, I said, “Wow, this is an interesting revelation. It’s all about beasts covered with eyes and wings. Creatures with four heads. Flying things. Immediately my children were interested. Then, I told them all about John the Beloved and how he was given an amazing vision and how he used symbolism to share his vision with the world. I turned to Revelation and started reading in chapter 4 about the beasts with eyes and six wings who praise God. Then I asked them “what do you think John is trying to tell us, what are these beasts?” The guesses started pouring out of the girls. They were so excited! Then I said “This is just what Joseph was going through, he wanted to know what John meant, but he didn’t know if his guesses were right, so he prayed and Jesus answered his questions, explaining what each thing meant.” Back to Section 77, where we asked the first question, then read and discussed the answer. Then on to the second and so on. Many times we had more questions about the answers given, so then we were diving into the footnotes to get more information. The girls treated this as a great treasure hunt. They were flipping through their scriptures so fast trying to figure out the answers, I almost couldn’t keep up with them! We had a Harris family dinner last night, so we didn’t get home till about 10:15. I had thought, we’ll just read a couple of verses and go to bed since it is so late, but as soon as we started we couldn’t stop. I kept asking “should we do another question?” and they would say “YES!” I couldn’t very well stop with that much enthusiasm, could I? We finally finished around 11:30. Our bodies were exhausted, but our minds were full of great ideas to think about all night long in our dreams.

I will try to remember this night when scripture study is not so joyous!

p.s. By the way, if you are looking for a great analogy for D & C 76:94 (they will see as they are seen and know as they are known), we talked about how if you are grumpy, you tend to see others as grumpy. If you are kind, you tend to see others as kind. Then we talked about Sauron from Lord of the Rings and how he wanted the ring so desperately that he couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting it. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to destroy it because he would never do that. He could only see those things that were within himself.

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an adorable bucket of joy

Jun 9, 2009 by

Annesley covered with Ranch

When I finished the last post, this is what I found in the kitchen! Annesley and Fisher had been eating baby carrots and ranch and I guess he let her go to town with them. Her face and hair are covered in dressing…and she is SO proud of herself.

This little girlie is so fun. I know I have said it before, but I am absolutely in love with her. She brings me smiles every single day. She fills me with joy.

Right now, she loves, loves, loves being outside. She loves to drive her little car, run in the grass, pet the kittens, and squeal with a mixture of fear and delight at Bessieboo. She wants to do it ALL DAY LONG, rain or shine, warm or cold. Outside is where she wants to be.

She makes me want to have 10 more lil’ ones just like her!

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catching up

Jun 1, 2009 by

We have been gone to Green Canyon swim camp for the past week and it was wonderful! I was in charge of organizing it and for the most part, it went off without a hitch. We had beautiful weather with no wind, lots of sun, and lovely nights to snuggle into a sleeping bag with my baby. About 90 children had lessons and 33 families camped, played, laughed, and snacked for 5 whole days…what fun! I am abundantly blessed with wonderful friends and many of them were with us camping. I think I got more hugs, kisses, and “Hey, Miss Tracy, watch this!”, than I ever have before in my life. Many of the attendees are my gymnastics students and they were always excited to show me their new skills in the water. My cousins, Tami and Camille, came all the way from Colorado and Utah to join us and they did almost all of the cooking and cleaning for our camp! Talk about amazing friends!

My shy boy, Fisher, had our favorite teacher, David, who helped him to feel comfortable and love lessons! I really thought it was $45 down the drain to even sign him up, but David worked incredibly hard at making friends with Fisher and would come to our camp to play catch with him, bring him a treat, or just to say hi all throughout the week. David is our hero! Blythe and Keziah did wonderful in their lessons. Blythe’s strokes are strong and in correct form. Her teacher had her demonstrate the breast stroke because hers is so beautiful. She has always been a great swimmer, but I saw a lot of progress this year even though she graduated from the Level 6 Red Cross Swimming Program last year. Keziah kept up with her class in Level 5, but she was a lot younger than the other children and far smaller. All three of them improved in courage, strength, and skills…WAY TO GO!

Now that we are home, I have a ton of stuff to get done…here is a sampling:

Today, the long lost Solar Ovens arrived and I am busy getting them out to people. I can’t wait to cook a meal in it! I will post pictures of the whole process soon. If anyone else wants to order one, I can now get them shipped directly to you. You can get info about them at Solar Oven Society.

I am busy organizing The Children’s Parade, which is part of The Celebration of Liberty festivities for Independence Day. We are trying a new thing this year…activities at the park afterwards. If you have a great idea for an activity, let me know ASAP. If you would like to help in any way, also let me know!

Of course, I am also swamped with laundry and unpacking. Blythe and I have tackled eight batches today and got all the camping stuff put away. Now we need to do the dishes, get the gymnastics equipment out of the dining room, bring our lawn back to life, clean all the bedrooms, declutter the basement, clean out the garage, take a load of stuff to the dump, deliver some Hotslings, put in an order of Nutrimills, get the garden planted, and get ready for colloquia on Thursday. Pretty calm, eh?

Fisher and Keziah are down in Cache Valley with Camille picking Dire’s Wode to earn money. They will earn $10 a bag. I am hoping Keziah earns at least $20 and I am really hoping Fisher doesn’t burn every inch of skin on his body.

I will get some more interesting thoughts on here soon…hopefully.

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annesley aliyah

Apr 28, 2009 by

My precious Annesley is so stinkin’ cute! Yesterday at gym, she tried so hard to be big like the rest of the children. She tried to warm up with us by doing her walk-run with her right arm swinging hard. She wanted to jump off the vault, but once she got up there decided it was a bit too high and held on to me instead…but she thought she jumped and wanted to do it again and again. She loves the music and dances by bobbing her head and spinning in circles. She turned 17 months on Sunday…whew! Time has sure flown by with this delightful little girlie. Here is a picture of Annesley and Keziah from about a month ago.

img_16012

Annesley was created one day and the next day we found out our business was closing. Since then we have had a lot of stress, anger, frustration, and sadness at that decision and its ramifications, but through it all, we have also had Miss Annesley with her bright blue eyes, wide-open grin, and spirit full of wonder and joy. She has blessed our family immensely and we are so grateful God sent her to us when He did. She was and is just what we needed to get us through with a smile in our hearts.

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