thankful thursdays 3/23

Mar 24, 2011

What a week.

I have experienced grief, joy, peace, chaos, exhaustion, satisfaction, and frustration. I cried myself to sleep last night thinking of my wonderful friend moving away from me and how it would change my life. I became angry at myself for not being able to just be happy for her and not selfishly want to hold on to her. I cried for Natasha and Jacob. I feel like crying this morning on this dismal, overcast day…crying for my messy room that I cannot get on top of, crying for my husband’s long hours, crying for my inadequacies, crying for everything.

In spite of all of this though, I am grateful.

* Camille’s birthday was on Tuesday and she came and spent it with me! We had lots of fun and thoroughly enjoyed a three hour meal. It was so fun to reconnect with her! I haven’t seen her much in the last year and a half since she started school and working. I have missed her!
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* We had a blast at Math Alive! yesterday. We figured out how many popcorn kernels it would take to fill our classroom. The children had to really had to put on their thinking caps and were full of creative ideas to solve the problem. I scared Miss Jennifer to death by having her stand on my shoulders to measure the wall, but all the children thought I was the buffest thing they have ever seen! I have SO loved this class. It is an amazing thing to see a child come on fire about learning.
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* I am so grateful for the TJED Forum. It is a wonderful family event. A huge shout-out of thanks goes to my mom for grandmothering our little ones and having a grand adventure with ice cream, a movie, a hair cut for Fisher, and swimming at our favorite SLC pool. Richard, Blythe, and I all volunteered to pay for our tickets – I’m grateful the volunteer program exists because otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to attend.
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* My little brother has a new job and shared some of his bounty with us…enough to fill up my gas tank! Thank you Steevo!
——————————————————————————————————————————–* This week has been pretty rough. I have been out late each night. Last night I came to bed feeling overwhelmed, selfish, ornery, and out-of-sorts. I cried and cried and he held me and let me cry. He could have been angry with me. He could have withheld love since I haven’t been here much. He could have left me on my side of the bed. Instead, he wrapped me up in his arms and listened and loved and taught me once again what it means to give your heart to someone. He believes in me. He believes in my mission. He is patient with my mistakes. He accepts me for who I am. He sees the best in me. He wants the best for me. He holds me…in his arms and in his heart.

I could not live my life for one day without the mercy, love, and strength of my Richard.
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Thank you…to all of you who love me…thank you.