enough

Nov 11, 2013

I spoke in Sacrament meeting yesterday on Doctrine and Covenants 104:17.

For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves.

I had a thoughtful, inspired week preparing my thoughts and am grateful for the experience of pondering the concept of enough. I came to some pretty strong conclusions. There is enough food. There is enough water. There is enough God. There is enough healing. There is enough love. There are enough trials and learning opportunities to become who He created us to be.

There is enough. God created this earth to be exactly what we needed. He didn’t send us somewhere that didn’t have enough.

Our perceptions of lack create fear in us that there isn’t enough. There isn’t enough money. There isn’t enough friendship. There isn’t enough time. There isn’t enough food. There isn’t enough healing.

But lack is not reality. The earth is full. Full of goodness. Full of food. Full of producers. Full of potential friends. Full of courage. Our perception of lack is reality. Our fear based on that perception is reality. The lack is not reality.

When I am most scared, most overwhelmed, most confused, it is because I start believing in lack. I start believing there is not enough money, not enough time, not enough anything.

Those are lies. There is enough. With God all things are possible. Remember Gideon and his army of 300? Remember how it felt to repent and be cleansed by the atonement of Christ? Remember how a child was healed? Remember the peace that has flooded your soul? Remember the money that showed up in your life? All of these things and millions more testify that there is enough. God is bigger than all of the fear, all the tragedy, all the pain. He is enough. And because He is enough, there is enough.

Well, somehow these muddy thoughts came together in a talk and I hope my congregation got something out of the tangled mess. I was a tad concerned about passing out at the pulpit and asked for everyone’s prayers at the beginning. I got through just fine, but my hip started hurting from muscle spasms and I had to finish a bit earlier than planned. Throughout the rest of the meetings, the spasms got stronger and stronger and I really should have gone home, but I love church and I wanted to make it through all the meetings.

I ended up collapsing to the floor near the end of the last meeting. My hip dislocated and when I came back to the land of consciousness, I found myself crying from the pain. Once again a team of super amazing helpers converged by my side to rub out the charley-horses, calm me down, and get me home. Two of the men did their darndest to get my hip back into the socket. It had to have been rather awkward for them, but I wouldn’t have been able to put any weight on that leg if they hadn’t worked to hold me together.

I am so grateful to have had this experience. Coming face to face with pain and dependence on others AND not being healed just after testifying that there is enough healing could have made me doubt my words. But I know God can heal me. I know His power is big enough to heal me. I know He loves me. Even though the healing hasn’t come in the way I want it to, I know He is guiding me, supporting me, placing people in my life to help me, and loving me. He is giving me enough to get through this.

After a long day in bed and lots of ice packs and heat packs to get the muscles spasms to calm down, I am ready to face another day with my chin up. Its time to read with my little ones and start another week of adventure.