nineteen

Oct 15, 2012

Nineteen years ago (right this minute) I was in the Salt Lake Temple being sealed to my Richard. It was a rainy, overcast day and we don’t have any great pictures. Actually, we have hardly any pictures of that day at all. We didn’t hire a photographer AND our house burned down seven short weeks after we were married, so all we have is a few pictures that my dad took.

But we have the memories.

Mine

• Absolutely knowing I was marrying the person I was supposed to marry.
• Feeling safe and secure, completely wrapped up in a cocoon of safety.
• Looking into his eyes across the altar and seeing giant reservoirs of gentle love.
• My mother-in-law giving me a big hug and saying “Thank you for making my son so happy.” Those words have stayed with me more than any other words that day.
• Taking pictures on the stairs on the east side of the temple and seeing all our friends and family huddled together under umbrellas and blankets…freezing while we smiled and tried to get the perfect shot (didn’t happen though).
• Walking through the rain to our wedding luncheon. Both of our families forgot us at the temple and we had to walk several big SLC blocks carrying my wedding dress and getting rained on.
• The fancy-schmancy dinner my dad took me to the night before and how wonderful it was to be with him, just the two of us. At the moment I had no idea how little I would see him after that (three times since then), but at the time of my wedding, I felt completely adored and cared for by my dad. After dinner, he and I walked around Temple Square talking and taking pictures in the dark. It was one of the best nights of my life.
• Four-year-old Mikelle greeting me after the ceremony with her bangs cut all skeewampus. She had taken a scissor to them herself and looked hilarious. She tried to give me a huge hug around my wedding dress and all I could do was stare at her hair in shock.
• My mom, grandma, and aunts all working for hours and hours at the reception to make it a special night for us and our guests.
• Changing into my wedding dress with Richard helping me with the zippers and skirts and buttons in the music room at my high school and feeling completely natural with him seeing me naked. I remember thinking how bizarre it was to feel like he had been helping me get dressed for my entire life when it was only the first time.
• Peace. The all-encompassing peace of being loved by Richard is a gift I cherish. It has been with me since that day, nineteen years ago. His love fills my being peace and allows me to feel the peace of God.

His

• Looking around at the faces of all the people in the Sealing room. So many people that were dear to my heart came and supported me as I made the most important decision of my life.
• Running through the rain to the wedding luncheon.
• Driving to Wyoming for our reception. To be with Tracy as my wife felt so natural and good and normal. I thought being married would feel weird, but it felt natural. It was a calm, peaceful assurance that this was right.
• I don’t like this memory, but I certainly can’t forget it – the panic that went through my whole being when I was told all my paperwork wasn’t in order to get married. Those were the longest twenty minutes of my life. I was more than relieved when the temple staff were able to get a hold of my bishop and get it all sorted out.
• The seriousness with which the temple staff prepared us for the ceremony. They were all careful about each piece of clothing being just right and wanted to make sure everything was in order and to make the day set apart and special for us. They wanted us to know that every single thing mattered.

Tonight we had dinner with sparkling cider and shared our favorite memories with each other as a family. Then Richard and I told the children to clean up dinner and put away all the laundry so we could have a reading-fest and finish Summer of the Monkeys. Unfortunately that isn’t going so well and the fighting is about to drive me bonkers. We are hoping that they will come downstairs and get us soon and surprise us with a spotless upstairs and smiling faces…but I am not holding my breath.

Richard surprised me with a new water bottle! I have been using my red Camelback that Tami gave me for my 35th for the past several years, but it broke last week. My new bottle is another red one, but this one has snowflakes all over it…pretty darn cute…and sure to get a lot of use since I go through about 3 quarts a day.

Happy Nineteenth…now to infinity and beyond!