week 16

Jan 20, 2016

Our girly is hurting. She could use oodles of prayers and love. Please pray for her companion and for Leslie’s family. Please pray Blythe will know how to comfort Leslie’s family. Please pray that they will experience the peace of God and feel wrapped in His arms of love.

On another note, I apologized to Blythe this week for the many times I was angry or exasperated with her when she was a teenager. She responded with such a lovely…and grownup note of love for me. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. If I had any other mom I would have a very different life. Few other people would have adjusted so much to fit my needs and few other people are as dedicated and passionate as you. You’re awesome. I’m sorry for all of it. :) It wasn’t nearly as bad as a lot of people experience as teenagers. Love you <3" I cried happy tears. My girly has learned a lot of wisdom in the past four months.

So I have some bad news. Leslie passed away on Thursday night. In case anyone doesn’t know, she was one of our investigators. She has seven kids and has been battling cancer for two years. I am overwhelmed a little with the responsibility to help their family get through this time, but we will try our very best to support them and love them. We didn’t find out until Friday night, and I had to make the calls around to the other missionaries who had worked with them. I feel so sad for them. Friday through Sunday were really hard. I felt very unproductive, and I came to that point like where I really did feel like I was wasting my time, not because there’s not work to be done, but because we can’t seem to do it. Saturday was hard. We didn’t make a lot of visible progress and I was still thinking a lot about Leslie’s family, and it was just a bad day. It is sort of scary, because Leslie had priesthood blessings that promised healing, and they were not fulfilled in the way they expected them to be fulfilled. Now I have some understanding of it, and know that those blessings were not wasted, or even unfulfilled, but I’ve been worried how to explain all of that to them, as they probably don’t believe in priesthood power and now have reason to believe that it’s not real. But it’s been cool because as I’ve been thinking about this, I’ve been able to find other ways to teach about eternal families, like focusing on the temple. When I was thinking about the questions they might ask about why the blessings didn’t heal her, I thought about how ancient Israel was waiting for the Savior to save them from their physical enemies, but that He really came to save them spiritually and how those blessings she received were not wasted.

Cevik’s back in town, and we taught him last Sunday. When we invited him to be baptized he said they weren’t really interested in converting, but he wants to learn more and says he will read the Book of Mormon. We also gave Minoo a Farsi Book of Mormon and she says she’s been reading it.

We went to the temple on Friday Morning and I had a really sweet experience there. I was one of the last to leave the celestial room. When everyone started heading out, I was just thinking how I just didn’t want to go, that I just wanted to stay right there and feel the peace. As I was thinking this, I felt the words “I am always with you” and I knew that He would be with me, even though it was hard, and even though my companionship relationship is hard. That came at a time to prepare me for the challenges the last few days, because later that day everything started sort of falling apart. Then that night we found out about Leslie and the next day was just was hard. Sunday I was still having a hard time and I just did not want to get up early and go to meetings, which are of course earlier since church starts at 9:00 now, and we hadn’t finished progress records. But in ward council that day Brother Nielson said to put us missionaries on the prayer role. I think that is the first time that has happened and the prayer for us was exactly what I needed. I’m sure he was inspired. The day before when I’d felt so useless, I’d heard something or read something that was talking about how Heavenly Father takes us as we are and works with us so we can become better. Then in Ward Conference on Sunday they referenced the quote “Our direction is ever more important to Him than our speed.” Those things are exactly what I needed to hear at those moments.

With the last couple days of these challenges, I have had multiple witnesses that God is mindful of me in my trials and is watching over me. Thank you for your prayers and faith.

My ponderizing scripture is 1 Nephi 13:37: “And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, for they shall have the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shall publish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be.”

Love you all.
Sister W.