week 8

Nov 28, 2015 by tracy

Blythe is working hard and learning much. On this Thanksgiving week we are especially thankful for her commitment and dedication to the Lord. We are grateful for her protection and the many people who are blessing our daughter’s life right now. She has been on her mission for ten weeks and in California for eight!

At the Newport Beach Temple with fellow missionaries.

I think her look of shock is at the humongous size of the orange?

This week has been really good. We taught a lesson last night to a lady named Nora and her 3 little boys (who really like us). It went really well and she had some good questions after. We showed them Because He Lives in Spanish since they’re Hispanic. It was really cool.

We will be going to see Keri, who we placed a Book of Mormon with, last week later this afternoon.

We’re seeing Angie, who is from Turkey, who we placed both an English and Turkish Book of Mormon (that one was hard to find) with. Her real name is Inci, but sounds similar to Angie. When we first contacted her she said she wasn’t interested – that she was Muslim though not very religious. We just said “Hi” to her whenever we saw her and she became more friendly. About 2 weeks ago the Elders texted us and said she’d told them that she was doing college application stuff for her son, but when that died down “it would be good for her to learn about the Christian religion” so we’ve been stopping by and she is super sweet. She Skypes her husband and daughter, who are still back in Turkey, every morning.

We’ve also visited several of our less actives and I just love Raquel B. (the Filipino mom). She let us in again, and we had a great conversation.

We saw April, a return missionary from Venezuela who has a nonmember husband and 2 kids above the age of 8 she wants baptized, but hasn’t taken a lot of initiative to get it done. We taught them Lehi’s dream and her kids are great. Zane, Zach and Zoe. :)

We had a lot of success. The only bad thing is that Liz texted and might drop us. She said she’d meet with us again though so maybe we can keep seeing her. She is really nice, and if she drops us I’ll try to stay in contact.

But really, we were able to do a lot this week. I feel back in the game now. We weren’t doing badly this transfer, but this week was a lot better.

Sister W.

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jeremiah 17:7-8

Nov 24, 2015 by tracy

I’ve long been a fan of the book of Jeremiah. It is full of prophecy, hope, and redemption. Our son, Fisher Eli, is named after the prophecy in chapter 16 about the latter-day gathering of Israel. This past week I searched my scriptures for verses on hope as I felt I needed a bit of hope added to my bucket. I read many verses and was buoyed up by the power and love of God, but when I read Jeremiah 17:7-8, I knew it was the one I needed to ponderize.

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

This verse reminded me of the life-giving abundance of God. His water can grow things so strong, so fortified, that when the heat and drought comes, they still produce fruit.

Oh, how I need His living water so that I can remain steadfast and producing good fruit in the midst of drought.

My hope is God. I love Him. I trust Him. I am learning to completely depend on Him.

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kat’s lentil tacos

Nov 20, 2015 by tracy

Miss Kat taught me how to make her delicious Lentil Tacos years ago. We love them ever so much for their easiness, deliciousness, healthiness, and low cost. Her website has disappeared from the interwebs, so I decided to post her recipe here so when people ask me for it, I have somewhere easy to send them.

Lentil Tacos

• 1 Onion, chopped (if you have time to saute on the stove first, it’s worth it)
• 2 1/2 C. Lentils
• 5 C. Water
• 2 tsp. Cumin
• 1 tsp. Garlic Salt
• 1/2 tsp. Pepper

Mix together in crockpot, cook at least 7 hours, 9 is even better on low or 3-4 hours on high. Or cook on the stove for about 30 minutes if you forgot to start it earlier in the day.

About 30 minutes before eating, add in:

• 1 14.5 oz. Can Diced Tomatoes
• 1 4 oz. Can Green Chilies

Right before eating, stir in 1 bunch of cilantro, chopped.
Serve on warm tortillas with these toppings:

• Fresh Limes squeezed on top (a must!)
• Sour Cream (optional, but delicious)
• Grated Cheese (optional, but delicious)
• Salsa (optional, but delicious)

My mom doesn’t like cilantro, so we leave it out when she is here and just let everyone put their cilantro on individually instead of mixing it into the big pot.

Thank you Katherine for blessing our family’s life with your fabulous foodie creations!

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i guess wrists are pretty important

Nov 19, 2015 by tracy

It looks like it’s time for some more growing – growing of me and my capacity to deal with another injury. One might think I would be a pro at this by now, but I’m not. I haven’t figured out how to accept each new injury without throwing a little fit about it first.

I fell back on October 30 – a sudden face-plant on our front cement when my pants caught on our gate. My arms were full of stuff and I went straight down to the ground like a plank. Somehow at the last millisecond, my right arm shot out and caught me just a hair before the rest of my body hit. I dislocated my shoulder, elbow, and wrist. After getting those joints kind of back in place, I was not in too terrible of shape and I actually went and taught gym for the day. The next day I had a big passing out episode at our monthly baptismal service and when I came to and found a group of men ready to help carry me to my wheelchair and then into my house, I was super concerned about them lifting up under my arm because I knew my shoulder was still super sore and I knew it would dislocate again if they touched it. What I wasn’t too concerned about was my wrist. It was a little sore, but nothing like my shoulder.

A few days later Jeremy put me all back together much better than I had done and I thought my arm was going to be fine. it was sore, but didn’t seem too serious to me.

Unfortunately, the pain is increasing. He has now worked on it three times and not only is it not improving, it seems to be getting worse. Especially with writing. And mousing (the act of using a computer mouse). And doing my hair. And stirring food.

So yesterday we had the gist of this conversation.

Me: You’ve got to work on my neck, my neck really hurts.

J: I will, but we need to check on your wrist. Tell me where the pain is. Tell me what makes it hurt more.

Me: Oh, it is just STUPID. Just a stupid, little injury. I don’t want to spend any more time on my wrist. Let’s work on my neck and ribs and knee today.

J: I will get to those things, but we need to work on your wrist.

Me: Fine. But it is stupid. How can such a small little thing be taking up this much time and be affecting so much of my life? It just needs to stop hurting so we can focus on the more important stuff.

J: Tracy, this is your hand we are talking about. Your right, very dominant, hand. I’d say it’s pretty important.

Me: Well, yes, when you put it like that, I guess my hand is important. But it just seems so stupid that we have to take time away from my neck and ribs and hip and knee to deal with this stupid injury. It’s such a distraction!

J: Tracy, let me tell you about the Stanford Tomato Study. The researchers had two greenhouses with identical tomato plants in each one. Every day they would go in one greenhouse and say, “I hate you. You are bad tomato plants. You won’t grow.” In the other greenhouse they would say, “I love you. You are beautiful plants. You will grow big tomatoes.” The tomatoes did just what they were told. You need to be telling your arm, “You are a good arm. You are hurt and we are going to help you get better. I love you. Thank you for serving me so well. You will heal and get stronger and I will help you.”

Me: Argh. I know that. And the water study and the rice study. All cool beans. But don’t you agree with me that this injury is getting in the way of more important things? I mean just a few weeks ago we were super concerned about brain stem compression and now we are spending all sorts of time on this little stupid wrist injury.

J: It is NOT stupid. This is your hand. A major part of your functioning as a human being is in your hand. It is important and we need to get it better so you can use it again.

Me finally humbled and listening with my heart instead of my head: Hmmm, okay. I will stop calling it stupid and start sending it love and do my best to give it what it needs. What is wrong and what does it need?

J: Well, I think your TFCC or Triangular Fibro-Cartilage Complex is either torn or stretched really badly. You have all the symptoms. Your radius and ulna aren’t tracking together and the TFCC is the cartilage and ligament structure that connect those two bones. You need to not use it. Don’t do things that hurt it like write and mouse and definitely no more stirring pots of soup. You need to brace it if the tape isn’t working as well as it needs to and rest it and send it love. And start juggling with your left hand to build some coordination because it needs to take over.

Me: Okay. Okay. Fine. I will do those things.

I have been trying to work this all out in my heart and mind, to really take his words in and believe them…and while I do, I am still fighting it a bit. It does seem like a silly injury! And it is super exasperating because it is a whole new body part that is injured and the last thing I need is to add another body part to the list of damaged areas…right hip, sacrum, pubic bone, left foot, right foot, right knee, spine, brainstem, vagus nerve, facial nerve, temporomandibular joint, cerebellum, ribs, clavicle, esophagus, stomach, cecum, IT band, hamstrings, left shoulder, right shoulder, and now my right elbow, wrist, and hand. Oh my goodness, what body parts are left? My left hand, hip, and knee? For heaven’s sake, I need to keep the uninjured parts of me UNINJURED. Once something is damaged on me, it doesn’t get back to its preinjured state, it is weakened and much more prone to future injury, so it is really important to not get the first injury.

At the same time, I can see that it IS important and I need to stop thinking of it as stupid. I need to honor this injury and view it as something just as important as my brainstem or hip. It is harder for me to do that though because I can walk just fine with an injured wrist. I can move without wincing. I think something is wrong with my brain’s processing of things because it seems I believe that if I can still move, it must not be very serious – only injuries that completely stop me in my tracks are important. Maybe that is why the first injury did stop me in my tracks and put me in bed? Hmmm. Big things to ponder.

I ordered the new ulnar support brace along with a compression sleeve this morning and am hoping Amazon pulls a miracle and gets them here faster than the estimated delivery dates. In the meantime, I am trying to train myself not to use my right arm for anything…basically impossible, but I am giving it a valiant effort. Tell me, how am I supposed to put my contacts in with my left hand? Or do my hair? Or anything? How am I supposed to not write?

Okay. Deep breaths. Time to learn more lessons and grow.

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he’s not boring

Nov 18, 2015 by tracy

Stable.

Boring.

Rock-solid.

Boring.

Patient. Dedicated. Committed. Perseverant. Adorable. Hero of the fridge, plugged drains, and piles of puke.

Boring.

Completely full of love for me.

We go back and forth with this discussion all the time. He thinks he is boring and wonders how on earth someone with my passion and energy and drive could ever be content with someone like him. I think he is stable and is the rock that holds all the crazy people in this home together.

In spite of my absolute conviction that he is not boring, lately I have been making him feel boring and not enough for me. From somewhere deep inside me a need to be swooned has burst forth and since he doesn’t feel like he is a swooning kind of guy, he was feeling like he isn’t enough for me. I think this need is mostly coming from my feeling so terribly broken and undesirable…like the need to be desired and swept off my feet has increased as my own inner undesirableness has increased. I have hurt him and apologized and hurt him again and apologized some more. Oh, how I wish I knew how to be a constant well of kindness and love. Oh, how I sometimes wish I could cut out my tongue!

We have worked it out. I have been able to narrow down my expectations so he has something to actually work with instead of a nebulous cloud of “I just need to be swept off my feet.” He has taken me on two actual, factual dates where I didn’t have to plan it out or do a single thing to make it happen. Two blissful wonderful evenings my soul desperately needed.

And then, I read this article on The Real Truth About ‘Boring Men’ and bawled my soul right out onto my pillow. Later that night, I sobbed my way through it again as I read it aloud to him. Go read it. Really. Right now. I wish I had Ann’s gift of communication and could have somehow written that message myself.

As we read, we both saw the truth of the situation. He saw himself with new eyes and realized he is not boring, he is purposed. My Richard has purposed his life to following Christ, giving his whole soul to me, and loving, serving and teaching our children. It is a 24/7 endeavor. So, while he may not surprise me with some fantastic date idea or make a YouTube video proclaiming his love, he will be in the trenches with me, cleaning up puke, listening to our children’s nighttime fears, and adoring my broken, soft-around-the-middle body. He is staying. He will not surprise me be leaving, by finding some hot new young thing. He is in this for the long haul and is determined to be kind, patient, forgiving, and serve each of us for now and forever. He has laid down his life for our family.

It is not showy or fancy, but it is real. It is solid. It is exactly what I need.

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annes on injuries

Nov 17, 2015 by tracy

My little Annesley has decided she is a speech writer. Keziah is in the middle of writing two speeches that she has to give this week and I guess Annes has caught the bug. Yesterday she presented her Anything Is Possible If You Have Love speech and today she gave us this speech on injuries. This is word for word what she said.

Warning: grab a tissue.

My name is Annesley and I am writing about injuries. You can fall off a skateboard. You can fall off of a tree. My mom has injuries, but even if I am sad she can’t do the stuff most mothers can, I am still happy I have a mother who takes good care of me and loves her family. I love her, too.

Injuries don’t mean it’s the end of your life. Injuries can sometimes help you to realize what is ahead of you in your life. When you have an injury or when you have a family member who has an injury, it doesn’t mean that she or he won’t take care of you. It means that you will be able to fight trials and you will have to get used to those trials because it will happen.

My mom is suffering through a tissue disorder. She has been passing out, but this week she has been doing okay. I like that I have a loving mother who takes good care of me.

My mom has an injury and I love her. She teaches a good homeschool group and she teaches gym. She doesn’t actually do all the tricks, but she has people do it for her. She has Grant and she has my sister, that is technically all.

Injuries might make you feel like you need to stay in your room all the time, but that is not true. You should try to help the people in your family who are injured. You should get used to having a family member who is hurt. Once I had an injury. I did a front flip into the pit and hurt my back. It hurt so much, but then it calmed down. But that is not what happens with my mom. When she gets hurt or passes out, she shakes for about two hours or maybe three. I do not like that, but I try to help her as much as I can.

Even when you get hurt it doesn’t mean you will never, ever be able to walk or look behind you again. It means you are hurt. Just plain hurt. It might seem like everything is aimless, but anything is possible with Jesus Christ. He will heal you.

Oh my, the tears. This precious girl doesn’t even remember me before I was injured. This has been her life. She sometimes wistfully says, “Mom, I wish you could run around the yard with me.” Or, “Mom, tell me what you were like before you were like this. Tell me about how you would ride your bike. Tell me about how you would played baseball and volleyball.” Oh, how I love her. I remember so clearly the feeling I got the first time I looked in her eyes. She told me spirit to spirit, “Mom, it’s gonna be okay.”

And now, it is time to trust her message.

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week 7 in cali

Nov 16, 2015 by tracy

I have been asking Blythe all sorts of questions each week, but she never has time to answer them. Today she tried extra hard to answer me, wahoo! Today marks two full months since the day we dropped her off at the MTC. Craziness! I need to get a package in the mail to her with some fingernail polish, some instrumental music, and some recipes. If anyone knows of anyone driving to the Irvine area, please let me know because she really wants her violin. She refuses to let it be shipped, so it needs to be driven to her.

Mom, to answer your questions – Sister Davis wrote me once and Madi writes, but nobody else.:( The ukulele is awesome, and several people have music that I can copy for it. If you could, I’d love an inexpensive tuner, since the only place I can tune with a piano is the church, but don’t worry too much about that. We normally eat every night in a members home, though this week has had a lot of open nights. I cook lunches and dinners when we’re not in a home. We do laundry at Tina O.’s house, and she is fantabulous! She has the funniest impression of her mom walking, of Disney characters, and anything else you can think of. She found out that Sister Shumway loves popcorn and gets popcorn of varying flavors for us to try. Of her and Carlos O. we say she wears the suit and he wears the dress and totally agree.:) She has all the power tools and is always doing some project in the house. Carlos likes cooking and always gets out stuff to make Italian sodas when we’re over for dinner. They are both hilarious! Tina is currently switching her front door to face the other way, and Carlos tore out all the carpet in the living room so they could put in a new floor. They always have projects going. I like all my clothes. I can’t think of a favorite, but if Old Navy still has those navy flats, I’d love more, they’re my favorite.

Now on to the important stuff. This week has been a little weird, because we worked really hard, and actually did some really good things, but they weren’t in the direction we thought it would go, which sometimes happens. Our key indicator numbers look really bad, but that’s mostly because we weren’t able to contact most of the people we were hoping to. We haven’t been able to contact Liz for 2 weeks, not since our last appointment. Her baptism can no longer be on the 5th, because she didn’t come to church yesterday, and she has to come 3 times before she can be baptized. It looks like we still have some ground to cover there, but we’re working on it. Hopefully we’ll see her tonight!

We actually got an actual appointment with Jennifer for this next Friday! Super exciting! Set appointments are really hard to get. I’m crossing my fingers.

Joanie is always busy, but absolutely forbids us to lose contact with her, especially with this last possible transfer. But we are setting up a dinner with the Mausses (who know her and her daughter, the mom of Elder Everette). We keep visiting her and one of these days I’m sure it’s going to pay off.

A lot of our success this week has been with less actives. We had another awesome visit with the Miskinyar/Gudmaunsen family and each time it gets a little better. We also got in with Raquel B. She’s always traveling and it’s super hard to see her. She’s Filipino and we have a Filipino Elder who has been trying to get an appointment with her. We got a time he could come by and we talked to her for quite a while. Her husband is a big businessman and doesn’t like the church. She tried to come a couple times, but hasn’t made it yet. She asked us to come by for a while on Thanksgiving when her family (who are active) will be there. She’s super friendly and I like her quite a lot. She’s also seriously pretty and has an adorable little boy who is basically a monkey. We’ll also be able to stop by soon again hopefully.

So for Thanksgiving we’re going to Raquel’s, and the bishop’s, at least for a minute, since they bring marines from the base south of us to have Thanksgiving in their home, and he likes us to come meet them, and having dinner with the Cheney’s. We’ll be well taken care of, I’m sure. :)

We picked up a few potentials, and one of them conveniently is friends with several of our ward members, and gave both of them a Book of Mormon! Yea!

Alright, so the Mausses. They live way out in the rolling hills away from the city and in fact are outside the mission boundaries. We have special permission to go out there once a month for dinner. You have to go up this skinny little road perched on top of a mountain. I’d hate to be pulling a trailer! They are loud and fun and hilarious and great singers. One daughter is expecting her mission call any day and the whole family is highly involved in our missionary efforts. Basically, they’re awesome!

It’s been really cool recently because several ward members have gone out of they’re way to tell us that they really appreciate our sincere efforts and that they can tell that all four of us work well together and are really engaged in the work. It’s great to know that they see that.

My emails may start being shorter, since everyone here just learned that they want us to keep our emailing under an hour.:( I’m not that fast at typing… Anyway.

Love you all!!
Sister W.

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stuffed potatoes

Nov 16, 2015 by tracy

Something inside my mom-heart has woken up recently and I have been trying to prepare food for my family more frequently. I want my children to eat food I make for them, to feel my love for them in the food I feed them. Unfortunately this awakening has happened at the same time my wrist and forearm are terribly sore from my faceplant on October 30. So, we have some funny moments where I try to do things with my left hand and food flies across the kitchen. Or I spill things – yes, even more than usual – when I try to pour with my left hand. We have discovered it is basically just there to make me look normal as it is nearly non-functional for any cooking or writing activities.

Tonight I made one of our favorite dishes from long, long ago when I used to cook everything from scratch and did so on a regular basis. When Annesley saw what was for dinner, she didn’t even remember eating these before so it must have been awhile ago when I was making these on a regular basis!

Stuffed Potatoes

• 5 Large Baked Potatoes
• 1 C. Plain Yogurt (can substitute sour cream)
• 1 C. Shredded Cheddar Cheese
• 3 T. Butter
• 2 T. Milk
• 2 T. Finely Minced Onion
• 1/2 tsp. Salt
• Dash of Pepper
• 1/2 C. chopped cooked bacon (I’ve never put it in and it is super delicious without it.)

Slice potatoes in half lengthwise. Scoop out centers, reserving shells. Beat potatoes with yogurt cheese, butter, milk, onion, seasonings, and bacon. Stuff shells. Place on baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes. Garnish with paprika and/or parsley (although I have never put either one on).

From Whole Foods For The Whole Family by La Leche League International

My arm is done functioning for the night. Cutting and scooping out and stirring and scooping back in were super painful, but worth it for the squeals of delight from our kiddos and the smiles my sweetie gave me when he saw what I had made.

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anything is possible if you have love

Nov 16, 2015 by tracy

Annesley “wrote” this today. She actually dictated it to me from her writing notebook, but she didn’t really write all these words – her paper is full of lots of scribbles and lots of love words. She did, however, say them all. This is her message to the world, word for word as she said it, completely unedited by me except for the punctuation.

My name is Annesley and I am writing about love. Love can build families. Every time you are kind, love grows in your family. Love can build houses. Love can build people. Love can build buildings.

People might say you do not have love, but that is not true. You have love every time you are kind. Even if you are sad, you can still have love. You can share love. Love can still grow.

I am so glad that I have a sister on a mission. Even though I am sad, I can still send love to her.

I share love when I go to people’s houses. I give love. When I am naughty, I am not sharing love. When I am kind, I am sharing love. Every time I make a choice, I am trying to make a good choice.

You can share love with a friend, with family members, or even with someone you don’t know. You can share love, it’s just like a plant. When you are growing a plant, it is just like you are building love. Love is growing in your heart, your mind, and even your friend’s heart. You can build courage with love. You can build courage by asking someone to play with you even if you don’t know them. When you are going somewhere with your friends, you should always spread love.

When you don’t believe you have love, Jesus is sending it down to you and you should use that love to build families, make friendships, and be kind. Jesus sends love down to everyone.

Love can grow in your heart. You can build love, you can share love.

Anything is possible if you have love.

Pretty wise words from this almost 8 year old. Next week is her birthday and her baptism is the week after. A little part of me has been wondering if she is truly ready to make this covenant with Jesus. Although she is naturally joyful and full of zest, she struggles with honesty and kindness. We have spent the past many months preparing her for this time of covenant making and while there have been glimpses of this deeper, more thoughtful side of her showing up, it wasn’t until today when she read me this paper on love that I knew she was ready.

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because towers are fun

Nov 15, 2015 by tracy

First day of my period + Friday gym + Friday church party + Friday night at Kat’s = exhausted mama. I spent all of Saturday in bed. Literally. I believe I got out three times to use the bathroom and that is all – I never even left my room. After sleeping soundly for hours on end while my children did their Saturday jobs, schoolwork, and played games together, I found these on my phone.

I’m so glad these bendable, hilarious kiddos are mine. I guess when you are super bendy, this sounds like a good idea. In fact, I can even remember when I thought things like this were super fun. But now? Now, not so much. And my mind can’t help but jump to the future and wonder what damage they just caused to their bodies. I don’t like being in that frame of mind – and I certainly don’t want to pass it on to them. I want them to live fully and without a care in the world. Carpe diem all the way. So, I am trying my darndest to stay silent about the possible repercussions of these kinds of moves and let them enjoy their fun.

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not a fan of these changes

Nov 9, 2015 by tracy

Some changes, like rearranging furniture, I love. Some changes, not so much. In the past year, we have gone through a lot of changes and I am still struggling to find a new normal.

A year ago, on November 6th, my best friend, Jessica, moved. Jessica is hilarious and super-talented and beautiful and a million other things that people out in internet-land love her for, but to me, she is simply my friend who I can share my deepest spiritual thoughts with, feel completely at home with, and laugh so hard I pee my pants nearly every time I am with her. We first connected because we were both home birthing, breastfeeding, LDS mamas in the same ward. We found we had similar parenting ideas and even though I am a mega extrovert and she is an introvert, we hit it off famously and have been bestest buddies for many years. We understand the deepest parts of each other that we are sometimes not willing to share with the world at large and have been through a lot together. I adore her. Absolutely adore her and ache so much for her physical presence back in my life. Neither of us is a good long, distance friend who stays in touch with lengthy or frequent phone calls or even frequent emails. We have had a few visits, but they have been quick and not nearly as soul-filling as we have wanted them to be. Life is complicated by the fact that both of us have POTS and have a hard time doing all the work of daily life much less adding in traveling and driving and packing and all that jazz. Our midnight sewing/computer/Thai/Gator Bites nights are a thing of the past. My running over to take care of her mid-POTS episode and vice versa doesn’t happen anymore. Having each other as part of our day-to-day lives just isn’t in the cards right now. And even though I have accepted it and support her choices, I don’t like it one little bit.

Then my other dear friend, Jennifer, moved in June. Really moved. Clear across the country moved. Not 3.5 hours away like Jessica where there is the chance to see her every few months, but something like 30 or 40 hours away. She moved to be near her family, which is a totally wonderful and understandable reason to move…but I miss her terribly. Jen has been my dear friend ever since Fisher was a wee baby. We first became friends when I begged her to teach me to play the cello. Then her girls took gymnastics from me. Then she asked me to be her doula. Then I prayed her to our little town because I wanted so badly to spend the rest of my life with her and her delightful family. Jennifer’s leaving has left a gaping hole in my life and I miss her so much, I can’t even talk about it without bursting into tears.

The four of us, Kat, Jennifer, Jessica, and I were supposed to (in my dream world where everything goes my way) grow old together. We were supposed to laugh and cry and serve and love each other for the next 60 years till we all die around 100. We were supposed to help each other with our children’s weddings and put on huge service projects and go out to eat at Red Robin every month for the rest of our lives. We have this amazing friendship that is simply incomprehensible until you have experienced it and I never, ever thought it would change. Yes, we are still dear friends and yes, we still talk and email and laugh, but it is just not the same as being piled on the same bed together eating Pad Thai at midnight while filling each other with love and laughter.

And I haven’t mourned it. Not really. I have tried super hard to be supportive of their moving and been so focused on getting Blythe out on her mission and getting through the summer and starting our homeschool this fall that I haven’t allowed myself to truly bawl my eyes soul out over the whole thing. I think it is just starting to really hit home that this is real. Now it has been a year since Jessica left and my heart hurts ever so much. I miss them. I miss us. I miss the entity that we were and the force for good we were in each other’s lives and in the world. I miss watching Jen and Jesse (her awesome dh) play in the symphony and I miss Jen conducting our homeschool orchestra. I miss sewing parties and watching our children play together and the Pink and Red party. I miss our late nights and our doctor’s appointments where they held my hands and gave me strength and courage, and our shopping trips (for mundane things like groceries) and our joy. I miss our joy most of all.

Kat and I are still here and love each other dearly, but I think we both agree that this whole thing is really hard.

The same day Jessica moved, I got a phone call from another dear friend, Kari. She said she needed some help, that she was moving and terribly ill and could I come help right away. I dried my eyes and went straight to her house where we got right to work getting her better with my herbs and oils and Richard’s energy work. She pulled out of town the next day and my heart broke a little bit more. Kari and I are nearly psychological/personality identical twins. Even though we didn’t spend gobs of time together, we *got* each other. We could call one another at any time day or night and we would be there for each other. She was my spontaneous, adventure loving friend who I could call at the last minute and she would drop everything to help my plans come to life. At one of our Make It For Maggie events, she made Maggie a look-alike doll – her heart is huge. I mentored her children and love each one of them dearly. We still connect on Facebook, but Facebook is no substitute for real life adventures with a dear friend.

Another big change has been our daughter leaving on her mission. It is truly THE BEST thing ever to be a missionary mama. I love it! I am so grateful she is serving and working and growing and doing hard things. But I miss her. And I miss being a mother of four little ones who would snuggle up on the couch with me while I read to them for hours at a time. I am not really mourning this right this minute, but I did have to go through a big grieving process of saying goodbye to those years of mothering and homeschooling these precious children. Blythe’s leaving marked the end of an era of my mothering and even though we are moving on and enjoying this next phase, my heart still longs for those days of having all four of them gathered round and discussing liberty or morality or The Lord of the Rings or a tricky math problem. It will never be the same again…and while that is a good thing, it is a huge change for our family.

The car accident in January caused some big changes in my spine and overall health. The headaches, neck pain, sacrum pain, spine instability, and muscle spasms weren’t part of my life before the accident. Now, even though I am doing much better than I was during February and March, I am realizing this level of instability will most likely be with me for the rest of my life. And there is really nothing I can do about that. My most recent MRI showed an exaggerated lordosis of the cervical spine at C3 and a reversal of the normal lordosis at C6…this basically means the vertebrae are more like a hilly road in Pennsylvania instead of the gentle slippery-slide shape they are supposed to be in.

And my body is getting worse. That is the long and short of it. My muscles are withering away because I can not do the work required to strengthen them without passing out. We are searching for answers to help my nervous system calm down, but right now, the muscles need to be strengthened so I can stop dislocating joints. Just last week I face-planted on my front cement when my pants caught on our gate. I dislocated my wrist, elbow, and shoulder when I caught myself. Now we are working to heal those injuries by having my wrist taped up and trying not to use that arm too much while it all heals. But those injuries further irritate my nervous system and the cycle continues. I keep thinking there has to be a way to be injury free long enough to allow my nervous system to calm down, but it seems every few weeks or so I have another new injury to deal with because I am not held together very well at all.

Our youngest child is turning eight this month. Miss Annesley is growing up and soon I will have no little ones left to snuggle with. This is good…but boy, it is hard. It seems my babies are growing up and while I am so proud of the people they are becoming, I often wish I could go back and nurse them just one more time or rock them in my arms to sleep. Those baby years were precious to me at the time and they are even more precious now (probably because I am not a sleep-deprived mother of babies!) as I think back on the days of carrying my wee ones in a sling, spending hours upon hours at the park watching them toddle around and discover the wonders of the world, and snuggling up with them in my bed at night. Annesley turning eight is just another marker of the end of that era. She still comes in to my bed first thing in the morning and she still snuggles while I read to her, but she is changing and I can see those things will be coming to an end in the not so distant future.

So many changes. I haven’t figured out how to navigate these new situations. I am taking it one day at a time…and I think I am doing pretty well most of the time…but then it hits me…my friends are gone…and they might not come back…and life will never be the same again.

I have been a little tenderhearted all day. I started weeping this morning watching a Bible Video about the crucifixion and it has continued all day with little bits of tears here and there every time I think of a loved one or a precious moment. It probably means my period is starting soon…not that these feelings aren’t real, they are real and they are big. They are just heightened by dropping progesterone levels.

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week 6

Nov 9, 2015 by tracy

Blythe is just finishing up her sixth week in California and eighth week since she left. She had her first transfer and she isn’t being transferred, but is staying right where she is. Still no pictures from our girlie. She has very little time to email us and hasn’t been able to carve out enough time to get pictures sent. But the good news is, we have been sent some pictures from people in her mission! This week I have been feeling her absence in our home more keenly. I miss her music and her silliness and her love of the scriptures and contributions to our family scripture study. I miss her giggling with Fisher and Annesley. I miss her. And I’m grateful she is serving God. And I love her more than I can begin to express. All the tender feelings are here today.

This week has had some challenges. Appointment after appointment fell through. But it’s also been great. We got a baptism date w/ Liz on Mon.!!!!! We’re so excited and she is so awesome. And guess what? We’re shooting for Dec. 5! I was blown away when you said that’s when Annesley is getting baptized!

We finally got in contact with Joanie again and we’re calling in the troops (the Mausses who know her and Bishop Hobbins) from the ward, since we’re having a hard time progressing with her. I think it will be good.

We also finally got back in contact Jean who is less active because she was taking care of her husband who has heart problems. She’s a convert and only member of her family. She wants her mother’s temple work done. I’m planning on giving her your email, Mom. She’s just getting started. We brought a family history consultant with us to help her and she’ll be going to the family history center on Tuesday!

We got in contact, visited with and taught a mini lesson to a less active convert who we haven’t been able to contact for the entire transfer and in the process contacted another less active member who she knows really well.

Well, today begins my second transfer. I’m staying here with Sister Shumway and there are only two people in our whole zone getting transferred. Unfortunately, one is our amazing district leader, Elder Dayton. He’s awesome and sad to go, but he’s been in this area for 6 months, ever since he got here. I guess it’s time.

Please pray for Liz and Joanie especially. Liz’s schedule is crazy and it’s hard for her to keep commitments involving time because of that. We’re also struggling to get in to teach Joanie again, because they’ve been really busy w/ Michael’s doctors.

Love you!!!!!! I am so sorry about the lack of pictures. I finally went through and got which ones I want to send you, but I’m not sure if I’ll have time today!! :(
Sister W.

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matthew 10:28

Nov 8, 2015 by tracy

A few years ago when I was dealing with the lump in my breast a dear friend wrote this scripture, Matthew 10:28 down for me.

And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

It has stuck in my head ever since and helped me to realize that staying alive is not the most important thing (even though it is SUPER important to me to stay alive and raise my babies and lavish nurturing, snuggles, and read alouds on my future grandchildren). Loving God, loving His children, keeping covenants, and becoming like Him are the most important things.

A few years ago, I heard a talk about prayer and the somewhat rote prayers we sometimes say at the end of meetings to “bless us to get home safely.” The speaker talked about how that is a nice sentiment and physical safety is important, but that we need to understand its place in our lives. He told us that we need to be far more concerned about our spiritual safety than our physical safety. Instantly this scripture came to my mind and I decided to focus more on developing spiritually than on merely staying alive.

Since this whole connective tissue blessing/nightmare started, I have been praying to come through it with more faith, more love, more kindness, more patience, more acceptance, and more gratitude and not more bitterness, more flippancy, or more hardness. The reality is, this could kill me. I don’t think it is going to, but it could. People with EDS do die of it. The collagen in their blood vessels finally cannot stay firm enough to effectively transport blood and oxygen and they die. Or their nervous system shuts down. Or they fall and get injured so badly that they wither away in bed. It happens. I don’t at all think that I am that serious of a case, but in the midst of really hard weeks, it does cross my mind, and then this scripture comes to me and I remember that my focus needs to be on becoming like Christ. I am doing all I can to be healthy and strong, but that needs to be my secondary focus. My first focus must be giving God my heart and trusting Him to walk with me and help me become like Him.

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week 5

Nov 2, 2015 by tracy

Blythe has now been in California for five weeks and gone for nearly seven. It is pretty amazing to me how fast the time has gone. Our house feels more empty and her zeal for truth, input in discussions, and beautiful music she was always creating is greatly missed, but right now we are still so happy for her that the time is going quickly.

I haven’t even started the process of cleaning out her room…yes, she didn’t get it done before she left…and I have a big goal to get it all emptied and clean so we can either use it as a guest room or move Annesley to it. My goal this week is to get some of our favorite recipes sent to her.

And her P.P.S. down below? Be still, my heart. That right there is payback for the long years we walked our own path to the beat of our own drum. Tender tears…

I have less to report this week. We haven’t made much progress, but we set some good groundwork for the upcoming week, so it should be better. I still loved it, though.

We had an awesome visit with Eileen M. (married to Max) and Sister Shumway played a few beautiful arrangements of hymns for them. It was so cool because Max came out and listened. There was a really sweet spirit there.

The visit with Liz last Monday went great! We didn’t teach perfectly and it was a bit disorganized, but she really felt the spirit. She was very open and loved the message. At the end of Lesson 1 (restoration) we asked if she had any questions. She asked what we believed about the afterlife, and we explained the lessons, and that the next lesson was the plan of salvation and asked when she’d be available to do that lesson. She asked, “Actually, could we talk about it now?” It felt right and we ended up teaching her Lesson 2 right there, gave her a Book of Mormon, and she prayed at the end. We’re meeting with her again today. I can’t believe I have to wait a whole week to tell you how it goes. We’re hoping to invite her to be baptized. Also, she said she’d teach her parents the first two lessons last week. We were just blown away!!

We also tracted and met with no success, but I think Liz makes up for it. :)

Also, we got all the C. family, the investigators with the mom who has cancer) to the Trunk or Treat. Now I know what you’re thinking mom, but it was great. :) We went over beforehand and helped all their kids get ready. Hopefully we can start teaching them soon! It’s just hard working around her treatment, but she really wants to do the lessons.

Love you all!!
Sister W.

P.S. I don’t have Mikelle’s email, otherwise she’d be getting my emails, too. Please inform her that I still love my hair, and it’s worked out great! I can’t even see my roots growing in at all! :)

P.P.S. Also, thank you so much for how you raised me. The way we lived our lives has made the transition to missionary life almost seamless. I had very little trouble adjusting, and that’s because of you. <3

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week 4

Oct 26, 2015 by tracy

Blythe received her ukulele last week and we heard today she loves it. Her face lotion also arrived, WAHOO for modern day delivery schedules! It is SO fun being a missionary family. Today in Annesley’s letter to Blythe she said, “Are there snakes in California? My reading and math are improving. I have been working hard on them. Are there a lot of people in California? Are the people in California nice? I miss you. I love you. Last night we finished the book of Mosiah. Love, Annesley.” I love seeing our children grow in love and thoughtfulness for their sister. Tomorrow marks four weeks in California and six weeks on her mission! It is flying by so fast.

This week has been a week of miracles. On Tuesday we tracted into two really promising potential investigators. One, Jennifer, was very open to our message and we talked to her for a while. We also ran into a lady named Linda. She works from home and was really busy getting ready to leave on a flight, so we just gave her our number and talked a little about what we believe. (Also, at some previous point her son wanted to learn about the church though that seemed to have cooled.) We turned to go and she asked “Don’t you guys have like a book?” And we were just like “Yeah, like this book?” She took a copy and we bore a brief testimony of it and before we could ask she said that she wanted to start reading it. We placed 3 Books of Mormon that day!

On Wednesday we went to visit Joanie. She was busy with something, but we were able to talk for a minute and had a good visit. As we were walking away from her we saw a guy. He was this big, young-looking black guy with long hair in braids pulled back into a ponytail. He was the last person I thought would be interested, but I said hi and we started talking to him (He had a puppy by the way!). We told him about Christ’s ministry among the Nephites and he got really excited and was a little shocked that we would give him a Book of Mormon for himself. During the conversation we also met his dad. So then we left and we saw his dad pulling out in his truck. He rolled down the window and asked what we’d given his son and we were a little worried. The son is probably 25ish, but we thought maybe he wouldn’t want him to read it. So we explained it and he thought it sounded pretty cool and said he might read the one we gave his son so I asked if he wanted one for himself and he said yes. We had just given the one we had to Jason, the son, but we were close to the car so he waited for us to get another. Please pray for them both. Jason said this morning that he wants to research, which is great, but we were also worried. We told him that we’re excited that he wants to learn more, said there’s a lot of fraudulent info out there, and that as questions arise that we would love to help sort them out. We told him about the church websites. The dad’s name is Steve.

We visited Linda. They were doing a family thing, so we just got her number, then texted her ours. She replied with “Thank you so much for stopping by. I want to start reading the Book of Mormon this week. Will you follow up with me on Wed.?” We were freaking out! It was so awesome!

Liz’s appointment fell through on Thursday because of a concert and we got worried for a bit, then she texted us and set up another for tonight. So we’re back on track and have high hopes.

On Saturday we had an awesome training at the Stake President’s house and it was awesome. But the point is this story. One of our Zone leaders, Elder Fetuani from Tonga, was so, so sick and lay on the couch the whole time. Elder Fetuani works super hard, and can’t stand not to be. When his companion, Elder Hook, had surgery for an ingrown toenail he went on splits so he could still work. He came to the U.S. not knowing any English, not knowing anything about CA, the only member in his Family, and he fully believed, with no info about CA, that he could very well die on his mission. So he had to be very sick. Afterward, when quite a few people had left, the Stake President asked if he wanted a priesthood blessing. His response was “Yes. I have faith to be healed.” He asked (former) Bishop Hobbins, (who I’ll have to tell you all about) to give the blessing. He gave a very powerful, direct blessing, and said “According to your faith you shall be healed, and rise upon your feet, and go out and do the work of the Lord that He has set you today.” The Spirit was so strong and Elder Fetuani stood and was completely better. He had the most shocked expression on his face. We saw them that night and he said he’d been fine all day, and they’d done service and tracting, and lots of other stuff. God is a God of Miracles. I know it. We have seen His hand so prevalent in our lives this week.

Love you all!!
Sister Blythe W.

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alma 5:14

Oct 25, 2015 by tracy

No news on the MRI front yet. The images did not turn out well and we will most likely have to go through the process again to get some clearer images.

My ponderizing scripture for the week was Alma 5:14 which says:

And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received His image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change of heart?

More specifically, I repeated this phrase in my mind all week long. “Have you received His image in your countenance? Does the light of Christ shine in your eyes?” Which is from a song by Janice Kapp Perry.

I SO want my countenance to reflect my Savior’s light and goodness. I want His kindness and gentleness to become so much a part of me that that is what comes out of me in times of stress or when I am caught off guard. I want my children to come to know Christ by the love they see in my eyes.

And yet, I get exasperated. I lose my patience. I have anger in my eyes and in my voice. This week has been one of deep pondering of my Savior’s character. I have been reading Elder Bednar’s book, Act In Doctrine, and been thinking about myself and what I want my character to be. It is hard. Really hard to take a deep look at my flaws and see how far I have to go. At the same time, it is lightening to know just how powerful my Savior is at working a mighty change of heart in those who are desirous to change. C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity the following.

Our Lord is like the dentists. If you give Him an inch, He will take an ell. Dozens of people go to Him to be cured of some one particular sin which they are ashamed of or which is obviously spoiling daily life. Well, He will cure it all right: but He will not stop there. That may be all you asked; but if once you call Him in, He will give you the full treatment.

That is why He warned people to ‘count the cost’ before becoming Christians. ‘Make no mistake,’ He says, ‘if you let me, I will make you perfect. The moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. Nothing less, or other, than that. You have free will, and if you choose, you can push Me away. But if you do not push Me away, understand that I am going to see this job through. Whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after death, whatever it costs Me, I will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect-until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased with me. This I can do and will do. But I will not do anything less.’

Oh, how I love that thought. My Savior will not help me become anything different than what He is.

As He teaches me and lifts me and cleanses me, I am ever so slowly becoming a kinder, gentler, more loving person. It is a journey worth taking, no matter how far the distance. And so, I will keep singing those words to remind myself to strive to become more like Him.

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brains should stay where they belong

Oct 21, 2015 by tracy

I have an Upright MRI today to start the process of discovering if the ligaments holding my brain in place have become so lax that my brainstem is being compressed or CSF flow is being blocked. If those things are happening, the answer is most likely brain surgery.

Oh, my goodness, this feels big. And yet I am doing quite well at staying calm and in a place of trust in God.

During the surgery, they open the skull, trim the cerebellar tonsils, cut away part of C1 and possibly C2 to make more room for the drooping brainstem – so it is not being compressed – and make some sort of covering for the dura matter. Then they fuse C1 and C2. It is a big deal with lots of risks and a big recovery period.

At this point, we don’t even know if I have this problem. Several things have pointed us in this direction, but we don’t know. And if I do, we don’t know that we would decide to do surgery or if it is even my best option. Often I have a pretty good attitude about this whole connective tissue thing, but right now part of me is scared and overwhelmed and a huge part of me doesn’t even want to find out if I have it or not. The thought of my brainstem, the thing that is keeping my alive, being compromised, is a lot for me to take in right now and part of me wants to run away from the whole discussion.

I’m a little nervous about starting down this path and would be ever so grateful for your prayers that one, I make it through the testing without an episode and two, that the people doing the testing will be guided by God to get the images we need to see.

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amazing grace

Oct 20, 2015 by tracy

Grace. Oh, how I need my Savior’s grace. Sometimes, usually on the day before my period starts, I forget the lessons God has taught me about His power to redeem me and actually believe I am a hopeless cause, but most of the time, I cling to His grace. A few years ago I watched His Grace Is Sufficient by Brad Wilcox and it changed my perspective on grace. Saturday night I had one of those fall apart nights where I forgot that I am forgivable, redeemable, and not a hopeless cause.

And then the Sabbath came and I remembered my covenants and decided to try again. As I sang the words to “I Believe In Christ” at church on Sunday, I cried tender tears of gratitude for my Savior who not only has the power to redeem me, but also enough love for me to actually do it.

I believe in Christ; he is my King!
With all my heart to him I’ll sing;
I’ll raise my voice in praise and joy,
In grand amens my tongue employ.
I believe in Christ; he is God’s Son.
On earth to dwell his soul did come.
He healed the sick; the dead he raised.
Good works were his; his name be praised.

I believe in Christ; oh blessed name!
As Mary’s Son he came to reign
‘Mid mortal men, his earthly kin,
To save them from the woes of sin.
I believe in Christ, who marked the path,
Who did gain all his Father hath,
Who said to men: “Come, follow me,
That ye, my friends, with God may be.”

I believe in Christ–my Lord, my God!
My feet he plants on gospel sod.
I’ll worship him with all my might;
He is the source of truth and light.
I believe in Christ; he ransoms me.
From Satan’s grasp he sets me free,
And I shall live with joy and love
In his eternal courts above.

I believe in Christ; he stands supreme!
From him I’ll gain my fondest dream;
And while I strive through grief and pain,
His voice is heard: “Ye shall obtain.”
I believe in Christ; so come what may,
With him I’ll stand in that great day
When on this earth he comes again
To rule among the sons of men.

This morning Annesley and I watched this beautiful arrangement of Amazing Grace and more tears came. Watch it, hear it, feel it. Let your heart be filled.

I love the Lord Jesus and thank Him for setting me free again and again. It is truly amazing that he can break the chains that bind each of us.

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yummy fried rice

Oct 20, 2015 by tracy

Cooking is a challenge for me. My brain struggles with making sense of the whole thing…what is essential, what can be substituted, what is the dish missing, what flavors go together…all of that is a foreign language to me. Thank goodness I can call Kat and have her tell me how to rescue a meal. My kitchen skills are sorely lacking as well. Burning myself, cutting off hunks of skin, and dropping pans of food are pretty regular occurrences. My recent Facebook post illustrates my cooking situation.

I am trying to make dinner for my family a little more frequently than the not-ever-making it I have been doing. This is how it went tonight. 1. Lost the chicken broth lid under the fridge. 2. Turned off the stove long before the pasta was done cooking. 3. Turned on the stove when I noticed I had accidentally turned it off. Except I didn’t…when I went back to check it, it was still on OFF. 4. Dropped the vacuum on my ankle…the one that is having a really hard time staying in place. 5. Poured the spinach steaming water/juice all over the griddle, across the cabinet, and down the drawers where it finally made a puddle on the floor. 6. Lost over half of the pasta in the filthy sink when the colander tipped over. 7. Dropped the boiling hot pan still full of 1/8 of the pasta on my tile floor and scared one child half to death (didn’t break the tile though!) 8. Saved what pasta I could and poured the delicious spinach mixture all over the top. 9. Ate it with one silent child and one whiny child. So delightful. 10. Forgot about the water that must have spilled out of the pan and the whiny child slipped on it. 11. Ran out of food before husband got home from work to eat it. (since more than half of it got ruined in the filthy sink). 12. Now have to run children to Scouts, Young Women, pick up from Irish, get ready for iFamily and Primary Auxiliary Training tomorrow and have no time to make more food.

This is why I don’t cook. I have such high hopes and my skills don’t measure up. Pretty sure I could win $10K on America’s Funniest Home Videos if I just kept a video camera going in my kitchen at all times!

In spite of all that, I make really good fried rice. After trying for years to make my fried rice taste delicious, I found a recipe online that insisted on the importance of sesame oil. I had always used olive or coconut oil or NO oil in an effort to save money and surprise, surprise, it was pretty disgusting. Trust me, the sesame oil is essential. It is expensive, but it is essential! The original link of this recipe is dead in internet land or I would source it for you. I have changed it a little bit from the original, so now it is time to share this deliciousness with the world. This is exactly what I do and it feeds our family of six with enough leftovers for lunch the next day. I haven’t messed it up yet – it turns out fabulous every time!

Fried Rice

• 9 TB Sesame Oil
• 3 Small Onions or 2 Large Onions, chopped (I usually do 2 large onions…less peeling for me!)
• 6 Cloves of Garlic, minced
• 3 C. Peas and Carrots (frozen bags)
• 6 Eggs, barely stirred, not whipped
• 9 C. Cooked Brown Rice
• Braggs Amino Acids (we use this in place of Soy Sauce)

Pour the sesame oil into a really big frying pan with high sides (I can use my 13″ frying pan, but I usually use my Tramontina 4 Qt. Braiser since the high sides hold the food in better.) and heat it up for a few minutes. Watch it so it doesn’t burn. Saute the onion and garlic and then add in the peas and carrot mixture. Scoot the vegetables to one side of the pan and try to get your oil to the other side of the pan and pour the eggs in on the oil side. Stir them gently until they are cooked. Add in the rice (carefully and slowly so it doesn’t spill all over the stove…there is a lot of it!). Pour the Braggs deliciousness all over it and carefully mix everything together. Add some more Braggs until it tastes as strong as you like it.

The original recipe called for chicken and it was fabulous, but I have only added that in once because it is delicious without it and I tend to be a meat hoarder, saving meat for those meals where it is absolutely necessary.

When I make it, I fill my rice cooker to the 10 C. setting (which makes 20+ cups) and use less than half for this dish. Then my children have leftover rice in the fridge for several days that they eat with milk, cinnamon, and honey.

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week 3

Oct 19, 2015 by tracy

Our girlie has now been in California for nearly three weeks and left our home almost five weeks ago. It is going by so fast. We mailed her a ukulele this week, have to say Amazon Prime is AMAZING. Click, click and two days later it is delivered to her. Her mission president served for a long time in Tonga and Hawaii and he has created a Polynesian feel to the mission. They have ukulele lessons on P-Day at the mission home and she was dying to participate. Now we need to put a package together with pictures from home, piles of drawings from Annesley, more of her facial lotion, and her nutritional supplements. She must be being diligent about taking them if she is already in need of replacements. We are SO happy for her and are enjoying being a missionary family. It is wonderful to hear our children praying for their sister with fervency, faith, and heart. It is wonderful to think of her throughout the day and imagine what she is doing. It is wonderful to think carefully about what we should say to her each week in our letters. Since she only has a few minutes to read our emails, we want to make sure we share the things that will help her the most.

I have really enjoyed this week, though it’s been a little hard. We were not able to make much progress with anyone and spent a great deal of time trying to get in contact with people with less success than we hoped. But this upcoming week should be better. We were able to make contact with our referral, though it took most of the week and were even able to set an appointment! We had an awesome visit with Eileen M. (who married the Muslim man, Max) and her mom, Bernice. They both are exceptional seamstresses and make amazing things. We asked them about it and they showed a ton of their things and got super excited. Eileen made her tribal wedding dress for the Muslim wedding and it is amazing! She showed us this gorgeous quilt Bernice made her. It is the most beautiful quilt I’ve ever seen with vibrant aqua blues and greens and every square has these beautiful embroidered flowers of various kinds. SOOOOO pretty!!!! Then we were able to slip in President Uchtdorf’s talk about our desire to create and make it a very natural part of the conversation and showed the video to go with it.

We were not able to teach Joanie again. Her son has a mental illness, as I think I mentioned, and his meds were switched and were not working. This week has been crazy for them trying to get that fixed, but we stopped by to see her on Friday and it happened to be her birthday. We couldn’t stay long, but we’re keeping in contact. Should happen this week.

On Saturday we went on exchange with the Sister Training Leaders and for the first time that week we had absolutely nothing to do. I was staying in our area so I was in charge of knowing where to go, what to do, etc. and we had contacted the LAs and none of our potentials could meet with us. We actually ended up getting quite a few contacts and were able to get in contact with Samantha B., an LA who is good friends with Liz S. (our referral)! Super exciting! We actually talked to her dad, a non-member, who was working on his rose bush. He was really abrupt, and not terribly sociable, which is interesting since his job is a salesmen. I’ve since been told he’s very outgoing at work, but as soon as he gets home he’s a hermit. The funny thing, though, he was wearing flip flops and his toenails were totally painted in stripes. As soon as we were gone we just died!!

We have a few possible potentials among the friends of the YW within the ward. (Tell me if I’ve told you about the Mausses yet.) One sounds like we might get a whole family. One of the other friend’s parents are staunch Catholic and don’t want her learning about the church. The mom said (not to us) that she sees how happy her daughter is when she’s learning about the church so she’s going to shut it down now, because she knows that if her daughter goes she’ll get baptized because she’s so happy there. It’s very unfortunate because the girl is quite miserable at home and school and loves the gospel.

Sister W.

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hebrews 2:13

Oct 19, 2015 by tracy

This past week I ponderized Hebrews 2:13. We studied the book of Hebrews in Sunday School last week and I fell head over heels in love with it. What a treasure trove! Of course, I have read it before, but this time through, my soul was hungry for its plain answers and powerful testifying of Christ and His mission.

And again, I will put my trust in Him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me.

I have trusted in God. Many times. And yet, I need to keep trusting. Again and again and again, I need to make the choice to trust Him fully. There are so many times I do not trust Him. So many times I lean unto my own understanding and rely on my own strength and allow fears and worries to kick out the peace of God.

We are facing some pretty big things right now and it is hard to stay in a place of trust. But I am actively trying. Every day, I am taking a few minutes in the morning to let Him speak to me and reassure me that I am in His keeping.

The greatest desire of my heart is that my children will trust God, that they will turn to Him and trust Him with their whole hearts. This week, my mind has more fully realized that I must model God’s love for them. Teaching and showing them how we trust Him needs to more evident in our daily lives.

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twenty-two

Oct 15, 2015 by tracy

I woke up this morning with his lips on my forehead and his tender voice whispering “Happy Anniversary.”

Twenty-two years of being loved by this man. Twenty-two years of being tutored in love’s actions and feelings. Twenty-two years of tenderness.

I am so blessed. So very richly blessed.

Last night I taught the Music Leaders of our Stake for 45 minutes. For the past several weeks I haven’t known what to teach. Nothing felt right. I didn’t feel like I should teach them anything about the mechanics of their calling or give them a list of things to do or not do. But I didn’t know what I should share. And then, just yesterday, it came to me. I needed to share the power of teaching doctrine to the children and how it changes lives. One part of that message was my sharing a little bit of my story and how the song “Families Can Be Together Forever” gave me something solid to hold on to when my family fell apart. As a young person, I wasn’t at all sure that families COULD be together forever, but this song gave me the courage to try to create a family that would be together forever. Everyone in the room cried. My face and neck were covered in tears as we each felt the power music can have in saving souls.

I am so, so grateful God gave me the courage to say yes to our marriage. Richard’s pervasive goodness, kindness, calmness, and steadiness has blessed me and changed me for the better. Our marriage has given me our precious children and a life of happiness in motherhood I could not have ever imagined. His love has transformed me.

This morning I read all the posts I have written on our past anniversaries and my heart filled up with joy. Oh my goodness, I love my Richard!

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celebrating the family video

Oct 13, 2015 by tracy

I saw this video yesterday and have to share it because I love it so much! I set a goal to memorize The Family: A Proclamation To The World this year in our homeschool and even had an awesome giant poster printed (thanks to Valena!) in the weeks right before Blythe left, but we haven’t started yet. I haven’t even hung the poster up! But today that is changing. Today we begin! This video gave me the nudge I needed to get back on track with this goal.

If you want to make your own giant 24 x 36 poster, here is the pdf file. The awesome Valena also made a matching poster for The Living Christ. You can download that pdf file here.

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week 2

Oct 12, 2015 by tracy

This week has been really good. Some days were less awesome, but we’ve seen some exciting success. On Wednesday we finally made contact with this lady named Joanie, who we’d tried to see pretty much every day since I got here. Her grandson, Elder Everette, is serving in this mission right now, though he’s in a different area. I’m not sure why, but she hasn’t seen him since he was little and his mom saw him recently and he got to baptize her. His dad is also somewhere in this mission. Anyway, we met with her and just talked a lot about God’s love and she seemed really open and her beliefs are already very similar to ours. We went back on Friday and taught her the Restoration and she was totally open to our message and we talked a lot. She is so, so sweet and grandmotherly and she even called us later that day to see if we were doing alright. She’s very centered on family and we are so excited to teach her the Plan of Salvation this week, either Wednesday or Thursday.

We got a referral for the first time which is a miracle because they’re hard to get and street contacting is sometimes not very effective – I’ll tell you why. In the whole time I been here we have hardly seen anyone walking the street. On Saturday we spent six or more hours walking and went through most of our available contacting area. We saw about ten people in all and only got eight contacts. People don’t come outside, not even in the parks. I am firmly convinced that the sidewalks here are purely for decoration because no one uses them. I’m not sure why they’re so proud of their California weather if they don’t go outside. Also on Saturday it was 100 something degrees outside. This is completely unusual. (Quick side note: It had rained twice since my trainer got here. It has rained twice since I got here. Normally the weather is really consistent.) It had been even hotter on Friday. with not a breath of air, so we had prayed that it wouldn’t be as bad, and that we could bear it walking for so long in the heat. That day was really hot and really tiring and the sun was merciless, but there was just enough of a semi-cool breeze that would come up every little while so we had some relief. The breeze isn’t even supposed to be cool at all. Apparently the winds blow off the desert toward the coast and it’s supposed to be hot wind. So I think that was a direct answer to prayer. Also, I was wrong about there being two gated communities in our area. There’s actually three. There are no major gathering places for people to walk around. It’s kind of like walking through a very well manicured, extra large ghost town. Even in the gated communities there are very few people outside. Our goal for contacts last week was 56. We got 20 and that was significantly better than the week before and we try to talk to almost everyone. We are seeing miracles, though not connecting directly to that. I know that God is rewarding our righteous efforts. The referral we received was after a long hard day and was totally out of the blue. We’ve been trying to get a referral for two weeks.

We are also trying to teach the Collins family. The mom, Leslie, has cancer. They want to be baptized, but we have to wait for her to feel good. There’s this awesome girl named Charlotte who had told a member that she wished she could go to church and the member was like “Well, you could come with me.” She wanted so badly to learn about the gospel, but her parents won’t let us teach her or let her get baptized, but they let her come to church and we do lessons for the young women on Preach My Gospel that she gets to come to. She read all of PMG and the Book of Mormon and is awesome. They’ve had her as an investigator for a while. We have to wait till she’s 18 and she’s only 16, but she is doing all she can.

Also, I forgot to tell you, but I saw Nick Huston and Marcus Perrenoud in the MTC.

Since I’m not learning a language, I got myself a Tongan Book of Mormon just for fun at the MTC. Then I got here and there is this awesome Elder from Tonga who I’ll have to tell you about sometime. I’m already understanding some of the words. But don’t worry, it’s not distracting me from the work. AND YES I TOTALLY WANT A UKULELE!!!!!!! Almost forgot that.

Oh, Thanks for the letter Annes! That’s super exciting about your math book! Love you.

Fisher, that’s so crazy about Sister Flora! My mission is going good. Sorry about the kittens.

Love you all!
Sister Blythe W.

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squares and mazes, wahoo!

Oct 12, 2015 by tracy

If you are anything like me, you pin things and then never do anything about them or flat out forget about them. Recipes, learning ideas, and home cutification ideas get pinned and forgotten on a fairly regular basis.

BUT, there is hope! I printed out two of my pins and introduced them to my children last Monday and they were both a huge hit! Then I took them to my Math ALIVE! class on Wednesday and my students gobbled them up and begged me to let them take the games home with them. So, now that I have tested them with nearly 20 children, I can say with absolute confidence that your children will love them as well…at least I am pretty darn sure they will! With the goal of creating more math lovers out in the world, I must share these winners!

The first is a spin-off of the dots/complete-the-squares game with multiplication problems added in. My dear boy did about 400 multiplication problems CHEERFULLY while we played the game. And his speed increased dramatically. The totally awesome Mathified Squares Game can be found here. My math students would have happily played it all hour if I would have let them. Instead, I taught them about Eratosthenes and blew their minds with how he measured the circumference of the earth within 200 miles of the measurement we have today.

We printed out lots of copies, grabbed a pair of dice, a cookie sheet, and two different colored pens, and dove right in. Now that I know my kids love it bunches and bunches, I might laminate them and use wipe-off markers, but I am a bit worried we would accidently erase some of our lines with our wrists as we move across the page. The same woman has several other different versions – addition, subtraction, factors, and more, but I am pretty sure those games need to be paid for. If she has a multiplication sheet for 12 sided dice, I will buy it, if not, I am going to make my own, so we can practice up to 12 x 12. (Fisher just told me he wants me to make one up to 20 x 20!)

The second is a large set of Skip-Counting Mazes. Annesley worked through about twenty of them in one sitting and pulled them back out today to do even more. Fisher discovered an error on one of the counting by 5 mazes, but even that error added to his learning as he triple checked all the numbers and possibilities before declaring with confidence that there was a mistake and the number 245 was missing.

Both of these activities are wonderful for cementing in those basic math skills we all need while not making it seem like the drill-n-kill approaches that so often shut little ones brains down.

We are on a math roll around here lately. Annesley finished her math book last week and started a new one today. She decided she wants to do 11 pages a day! And today she did it! I decided to introduce a new game to them today and it was a huge hit as well. Corners is from the RightStart Card Games Kit and is a fabulous game for working on multiples of 5 and addition. I wasn’t sure if Annes could handle it, but with a little bit of help once her score got into the 200s she did just fine.

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