broken

Mar 28, 2010

How many things can break in my life? Richard says I shouldn’t ask that question, shouldn’t put those words out to the universe, shouldn’t give them life. He is probably right. And yet…I have to wonder?

Last night at Winco, I dropped my barely clinging to life cell phone and it broke into two pieces…complete with wires hanging out. I put it back together, but it didn’t work. It is officially toast. So, don’t call me on it – you won’t get me.

Right after I dropped the phone I felt something hanging around my legs. I thought it must be the completely-stretched-out-waistband-slip I was wearing and tried to hike it back up in some semblance of a ladylike manner while standing in the back corner of the bulk section. I kept pulling it up over and over and short story is, whatever was hanging around my legs was still there. Turns out it was my very stretched out pantyhose.

Something is terribly wrong with my suburban. More than one thing. I have been telling Richard this all week long, but he has been beset with his own car troubles and hasn’t been able to pay attention to mine. Well, last night he drove it and said, “What is that noise? That is just not right.” I think it is the U-joints and something with the air system. Who knows?

Richard’s car broke down in Idaho Falls on Friday night. I had to go rescue him right after I finally got home from gym.

When he went to go work on his car on Saturday he drove his little red project car and something blew. Hopefully a cheap gasket, but who knows.

We now have three barely running vehicles, one totaled vehicle that we are waiting for the measly insurance payment on, and one hasn’t-been-started-in-years vehicle that Richard is hoping to take apart and sell parts off of.

All I want are two dependable vehicles. I don’t care what they look like. I just want them to get me from here to there on a regular basis.

My round brush that I blow dry my hair with came completely apart. No surprise since my hair could win the contest for World’s Thickest Hair. Think it doesn’t look that thick? Well, it takes a LOT of work to make it not look thick. Once when I got a perm, it took 6 hours, three wrappers, three sets of rods and three bags on my head to cover up all the rods. Insanity I say.

My adorable green table that I love got broken yesterday when I dropped the couch on it (well, actually, I was in between the couch and the table quite concerned that I would by squished until I was bereft of all oxygen in my body. No one could help me because Blythe was on the other end of the couch and couldn’t get to me except by climbing on the couch and pushing it even further into my lungs and none of our other children are strong enough or tall enough to lift a couch that is 4 ft. in the air and slowing killing their mother). I had the couch above my head to try to get it out of the living room and into the dining room so we could make our Passover table when I tripped and dropped it on top of me. As the last gasps of air were escaping I mustered all my strength and heaved it up again.

My dishwasher is broken, my vacuum isn’t working so hot, my sewing machine is temperamental. My upstairs shower has been broken for over a year. My iron fell of the ironing board yesterday and broke a piece off of it – I think I fixed that though.

Surely, we have had enough! Surely we are going to start having things go right.

Surely?