the pain of being me

Oct 5, 2010

This is a tad bit mortifying to share because it so clearly illustrates the rapid fire insanity that goes on inside my brain on a pretty much daily basis.

Saturday we were blessed to be able to go to SLC and attend General Conference. Afterwards we went to our favorite Old Spaghetti Factory with my mom and had Birthday Dinner for Miss Keziah. After that mom and all my children persuaded me to drive to Logan and see Baby Easton. I didn’t really want to go. I wanted to go home and see my husband. I wanted to be in my own bed and sleep soundly. I wanted to watch conference in my own home with our own traditions. I didn’t want to impose myself and four children on a brand-new adjusting mother. I didn’t want to add any time to my drive home. But, I did want to see Easton and my children were dying to see him. So, we went.

By the time we got there, I was ready to scratch my eyes right out of my head. I needed to take my contacts out pronto. I ran to Wal-mart to get some contact solution and Mikelle asked me to pick up some milk. Once there, the craziness set in. I decided we should probably spend the night since it was already around 8 p.m., so then I thought, “I should get some food for breakfast. I should get some yogurt.” Wal-mart does not have the healthy yogurt I like to buy, so I had to read the labels of every single container of yogurt. Then I thought, “I should get some frozen fruit to put in the yogurt, everyone will like that.” On my way to the frozen fruit, I passed the cereal aisle. I thought “Maybe I should get a big bag of cereal to make sure everyone has enough to eat in the morning and there will be two choices of breakfast food.” More price comparisons, more ingredient comparisons. I finally gave up trying to buy something healthy enough for me to feel good about and just tossed some Frosted Mini-Spooners into the cart – 43 oz. bag for $5.46. Then I headed off for the frozen fruit.

Right before I got to the frozen fruit section, there was a huge display, filling the center aisle, of giant bags of cereal, the same cereal I had in my cart, but in 50 oz. packages and priced at only $2.50! Overcome by the thought of saving money, I put a bag in my cart and got rid of the 43 oz. bag. Then, I went back and got 5 more bags. I thought “What a price! Yes, it is terrible for you, but it will come in handy on days when I am at births or sick or something. My children will think it is a great treat!” Forgetting about the frozen fruit, I made my way to the checkout. I only put one bag of cereal up with the milk, yogurt, contact solution, and measuring tape (to measure Easton) and told the cashier, “I have six of these.” After paying, I went to the suburban and upon loading everything up, I counted only five bags of cereal. I thought, “Hmmm, I must have left the one I gave to the cashier at the register. I’ll run in and get it.” I started walking in and then thought “Remember those magnets you bought last Christmas that you didn’t get charged correctly for? Just leave the bag of cereal and that will pay Wal-mart back for the magnet mistake.” So I turned around, walked back to the suburban, got in and drove away. I drove clear out to the street and then thought “What if the cashier stole my bag of cereal and is keeping it for himself? Wal-mart won’t be benefited by my $2.50. I must right this injustice!” I drove back to Wal-mart and headed into the store. Then I thought “What if somehow the cereal is in the bag with the yogurt and contact solution? I better make sure I didn’t miss it.” What was I thinking! This is not even remotely possible, the cereal bag is twice the size of the Wal-mart bag! So, I walked back to the suburban and searched once again for the missing bag. Certain that it wasn’t there, I walked into the store with my receipt, showed it to the greeter and went and talked to the cashier. I told him I paid for six bags, but only had five and asked him if I had left it there. I could tell he was absolutely clueless about what I was talking about and decided he had not stolen my bag of cereal. He told me to go get another bag from the display. I did so and then as I walked out of the store, I wondered if I should go put it back to make up for the magnet incident of nearly a year ago.

On the way back to Mikelle’s I called Richard to tell him the ridiculous story and as I reached down to plug my phone in, my hand hit a pointy bottle…yep, a bottle of contact solution was in my vehicle the entire time! I didn’t even need to go to Wal-mart in the first place!

If this isn’t insanity, I don’t know what is.

p.s. The good thing about all of this is that I was really supposed to go to Mikelle’s. When I got back to her home after the crazy Wal-mart trip, she was starting to get sick. Within a very short while, her fever was up to 104 F and I knew she had mastitis. I was able to treat her for it and help her feel better after a few hours. I don’t know what she would have done if I wasn’t there because she was fairly delirious and had no idea what was wrong with her or what to do about it.