burns in me

Jun 28, 2011

I bought the Jenny Phillips – Every Breath CD for $2.99 back at Passover time when I was looking for an Afikomen gift and have been listening to it ever since. The first time I heard “Burns in Me” I was swept away. I listened to it again and again and AGAIN right then. I couldn’t get enough of it. At first, I focused on the cello music at the beginning of the song. Then I started focusing on the phrase “There is no time, it seems” because at the time I was right in the middle of Blythe’s Shakespeare play rehearsals and was worn right out with all the things I needed to get done on a daily basis. Then I started focusing on the phrase “How quickly I can fill my life with less important things” and since I was so concerned about breast cancer, I started really evaluating how I was spending my time and making a plan to make sure I spent my time on the essentials, not the superfluous. I recommitted myself to personal scripture study and to really nurturing my children’s souls. Then I started focusing on the part about thinking we are strong. That first part of May, I felt anything but strong. I felt powerless and I was literally barely hanging on. As my communion time with God became longer and longer each day, I began to feel peace again. I began to feel His great love for me. I have listened to this song over and over again for the last two months and loved it each time. On Saturday night, I listened to it again while driving home from the LDS Holistic Living Conference and it hit me with more power than it ever had before. I was thinking about this lump in my breast and what I need to do about it and what this whole journey is supposed to teach me. The answers came in these words…they might not mean anything to you, but they mean the world to me.

There is no time it seems
We’re rushing to meet everybody’s needs.
There is no time to breathe.
How quickly I can fill my life with less important things.

I’m hungry and I’m empty till your words reach deep inside.
I humbly drink from waters deep that fill me with life.
Your teachings have the power that I seek
and the Spirit of the things I read, burns in me.

Sometimes we think we’re strong.
Pushing on through days that seem so long.
I try to carry on, but without the daily bread of life
I’m barely hanging on.

I’m hungry and I’m empty till your words reach deep inside.
I humbly drink from waters deep that fill me with life
Your teachings have the power that I seek
and the Spirit of the things I read, burns in me.

I pray, I ponder, I’m thirsting.
I read and know that You hear me.
I pray, I ponder, I’m thirsting.
I read and know that You hear me.
I pray, I ponder, I’m thirsting.
I read and know that You hear me.

I’m hungry and I’m empty till your words reach deep inside.
I humbly drink from waters deep that fill me with life.
Your teachings have the power that I seek
and the Spirit of the things I read, burns in me.

They mean God knows. He knows me and my fears and my hopes and my needs and my family’s needs and I am safe in His hands. Not safe in terms of nothing being wrong or anything like that…just that I am really, really safe with my God…regardless of what His plan for me is, it IS what is best for me even if I can’t see how it will all work out.

They mean He has the power to save me. The power to heal my body, to eradicate this tissue from my life. More importantly, He has the power to heal my spirit and to teach me exactly who I am, what I am worth to Him, and how I can return to Him.

They mean the atonement is real. It’s real for me and it’s real for you. I’ve always known there was a way back to Him, but trusting that I could really make it back to Him has been so hard. I have no doubt that others can, its just me I have questions about.

They mean His words are what heal me. His words are what bring me peace. Nothing I do can give me the peace, the healing, the strength, the perspective, the love that I need. Only His and as I immerse myself in His word I will be filled with exactly what I need.

I wish you could hear the cello.