no, I have not died

Jul 23, 2011

In case you have been wondering if I died on day twenty of the cleanse…I didn’t. I am alive and well and gone on a trip to MAT Camp (Music, Art, & Technology). We have been up a dawn and and getting to bed around eleven every day this week and I have not had a moment to sit down and write. I am tuckered right out! Getting five children to and from their classes each day, volunteering at the camp myself to pay for their tuition, feeding everyone, driving eighty miles each day, and not sleeping in my own bed wrapped in Richard’s arms is just plain exhausting.

But worth it.

My four children and our friend, Alanna, have thoroughly enjoyed their classes. They have had flute and violin lessons, puppetry, choir, dance, flashmob, stage combat, science explosions, painting, composers at the zoo, silly songs, quilt making, musical theatre, mosaic art, and more. They have had the opportunity to be in many performances, receive expert mentoring, make tons of friends, and be surrounded by musicians and artists from all over the country. It is one of our favorite things to do each summer.

Today I am enjoying the Pioneer Day activities in my hometown and have seen so many of my dear friends. I love this place. Speaking of which, when does the grown-up place you live become home? We have lived in our current town for twelve years and even though we have lots of wonderful friends and a fabulous homeschool network, it still doesn’t feel like home to me. It feels like this-is-where-we-live-but-don’t-have-any-roots. Maybe this feeling stems from the depth of the roots I have in my hometown. My great-great grandfather and his sister, along with their spouses, settled this land 120 years ago. I was raised about a mile away from their original homestead and nearly everyone I grew up with was related to me one way or another. My family ran our town’s only grocery store and I practically lived at the store, talking to all the customers in between bagging groceries, facing shelves, and wrapping lettuce. My small town had this feeling of connectedness that I have never felt anywhere else. I don’t know if it’s because I have changed or if it’s because my new town doesn’t have that same feeling.

I could just sit at the town BBQ and watch these people all day. I love them and I am so grateful for the roots they gave me. Being here makes me want to marinade my children in that feeling of groundedness, interdependency, and however sappy it sounds, family. That feeling…and the actions that surrounded it, are what saved me as a child. I had an entire town that cared about me and taught me what it meant to be a good and decent person. They filled me with stories of my ancestors that inspired me to live up to my family name. They loved me…and they still do.

We have already been to the Pioneer Day Parade, the Quilt Show (where we saw sheep wool carding, beautiful quilts, a bear skin coat worn by a stage coach driver in the 1800’s that still has bullet holes in it, and irons from the first western settlers), and the BBQ. Tonight we are taking Alanna to her first rodeo!

Tomorrow we will return home and then I am having a lumpectomy on Monday morning, so I don’t know when I’ll be able to post again. I’m hoping to be back on my feet on Tuesday, but who knows? I’ve never done this before, so I don’t have a clue on recovery time.