a whole new low

Aug 19, 2012

Last month I wrote about the descent. Yesterday it happened again. This time the unfortunate victim of my wrath was a Walmart worker who was simply doing her job, trying to enforce store policies that prohibit the trying on of underwear for reasons of hygiene. I pretty much lost my mind. I lost complete control of myself and yelled at her (really ABOUT her and the ridiculous policy while I was two feet away from her) while my mom and sister stared at me with mouths agape.

I must figure out a way to stop this behavior. It comes up every month the day before my period starts and it seems to be getting worse. Feeling miserable and weepy is one thing, yelling at an innocent, albeit snarky, human being is altogether another.

I want to write to her and apologize. I want to drive back to Utah and find her at her post at the women’s dressing room and tell her how deeply sorry I am for treating her like a non-human entity and behaving like a madman madwoman.

I want to feel like I am safe for others to be around on all days of the month, not just on the high progesterone ones.

Sorry for mortifying you Mom and Mikelle…now you know the descent I am talking about…the descent into craziness and terrible public (and private) behavior.