injection #9

Jan 8, 2013

Today.

In just a few short hours.

Kat is driving me down for my ninth round of Prolozone injections. I need to find her a pot o’ gold for all that I owe her for being my injection doula. She rocks this job.

I haven’t been able to sleep.

I am sick, sick, sick to my stomach. In fact it feels as though my intestines have created their own roller coaster.

We are thinking, hoping, and praying this is the last one.

Last night I knelt by the side of my bed and poured out my soul to God. I thanked Him for this injury and the lessons I have learned. I apologized for keeping my heart distant from His and thanked Him for the dependence on Him I am developing. I begged Him to make the injections SUPER-DUPER EFFECTIVE. Then I prayed for my little friend Preston who is in the hospital with a nasty E. coli infection, my friend Tasha who is winning a battle with cancer, and my friend Heather who has a painful eye infection.

Then I laid in bed for three hours completely unable to sleep.

These injections are doable…and I highly recommend them to anyone suffering from an injury. But, boy howdy, they hurt. I am totally used to the needle pain and it is not bad at all anymore, but the nerve pain is horrendous. I can’t even describe what it feels like, but the torture device in The Princess Bride comes to mind.

So, even though my logical mind tries to convinve me of how I have lived just fine through the past eight injections and insists that I look at the evidence of increased mobility and the few short days of being unable to move much after each appointment, my body is rebelling from all of that. My body says “NOOOOOOOO! No way am I going to go through that pain again. No way am I going to allow my nervous system to be (what feels like) electrocuted for the next 24 hours. No way can you make me do this.”

And so the battle of wills begins.

My logical mind will win. At least will win enough to get me on the table. But my body will fight me all the way. I will be sick and shaky and on the verge of passing out until it is all over.

Please join my prayer of effectiveness.

Please.