perceptions

Jul 17, 2010

Today while packing up for our upcoming adventures we discovered that Keziah didn’t have enough shorts that fit her…so off to the basement storage overstuffed-overwhelming-disaster-waiting-to-strike room. We uncovered the bin that held Blythe’s old clothes and found a treasure trove of all sorts of clothing for Kez. Camping clothes, Sunday clothes, swim clothes, under-clothes, cute clothes!

Clothes full of memories.

It was almost surreal going through that box of clothes. It felt like a different life almost. Keziah has always worn Blythe’s hand-me-downs, so this is not a new experience…but today it was a very different experience.

It was so strange to see these clothes that my precious girlie wore when she was still small, before she developed lovely curves and grew up into a young woman. I remember when she wore these clothes. As I pulled out each piece of clothing, my mind would flash back to specific moments in time when Blythe had worn those capris as she swung on the monkey bars or rolled up those pants to wade in the stream or splashed food on a shirt at a family reunion and I scrubbed it and soaked it to get it clean.

So many memories of my precious girl.

When she wore those clothes she seemed so big.

So old.

And now? The clothes look eency-teency. They are so small and I can’t really wrap my mind around the fact that my beautiful grown-up girlie ever was that little.

How did this happen? How have the last few years of her life flown by me and I now have a daughter that is sharing my clothes, stealing my shoes, and looking every part of loveliness.

Isn’t strange how our perceptions change? How the way we view the world or people or things governs what we believe about those things and how we treat them and yet, our perceptions can be completely off base. They don’t even have to be based on reality! We create these perceptions, make sweeping decisions based on them, and we could be totally wrong.

I remember a time that I thought being 40 was old…now I know it is so not old. I remember thinking my Blythe was all grown-up the day she was baptized. Now I can see how little she was. I remember a time I believed someone didn’t like me and I was absolutely wrong, they were just quiet and communicated differently than me. I remember a time I thought everyone knew everything I had ever done wrong and that they were judging me on a moment-by-moment basis. Now I know the world is far to busy for most people to even notice I am alive, much less what my faults or sins are.

Perceptions are powerful.

I just want mine to be accurate!