Oct 11, 2011

Goodbye all-did.

For as long as Annesley has been speaking she has said “all-did” whenever she wanted to let us know she had already done something.

Me: Time to brush your teeth.

Annes: I ALL-DID!

Me: Time to put away your shoes.

Annes: I ALL-DID!

Me: Let’s comb your hair.

Annes: I ALL-DID!

Get it?

Today she said “I already did it Mom” and I nearly cried.

She is growing up. Every other time I have had a child get to this age I have been about to give birth again. I have been full with child and so ready for a new baby because my baby was finally oh, so grown up.

But not this time.

This time I will have a four-year-old and no new baby to take her place. No umbilical cord for her to cut. No adorable baby for her to hold. No precious baby for me to nurse. No little one to carry in my sling.

Yes, my heart is breaking at the thought of it.

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  1. Mom

    Oh, my gosh. This is the saddest post! I wish for you that you could have ten children, just like you always wanted . . .

  2. Katherine

    Just cried a little. {{{{hugs}}}} I’m in the same boat.

  3. jessica

    Oh Trace! You know I feel your pain, mama. It’s something even Moose Tracks can’t chase away, though I try.

  4. Sounds like this “disease” is going around. We may be all done, as well. :-(

    I’m sad for you, too, Miss Tracy! {{{Hugs}}}

    • tracy

      Well, I am not ready to admit we are all done, but we very well may be. I don’t know. All I know is I am not ripe for birth the way I always have been around the age of four. With all this estrogen in my body and so many unknowns with my breasts, I don’t know what to think, what to do, what to believe.

      Maybe the little brother Fisher has been begging for will come someday, but it sure doesn’t look like it.