347 days

Feb 2, 2013

Yesterday I typed up a really long post about the last few days and the roller coaster of emotions and physical symptoms I am on…but I lost it somehow and I don’t have it in me to retype it all.

To sum it up, YUCK.

Yucky emotions, yucky physical symptoms, yuck, yuck, yuck.

Tonight is the last night of Blythe’s play and I was fairly determined to go, but when Richard got home to take the little children, we decided I shouldn’t try. I would have to stand up the whole time because this week’s play is in a theater with theatre seats with no way for me to lie down. He was worried it would wear me right out and make it impossible for me to go to iFamily next week. He is probably right, but I am so disappointed. I hope someday when Blythe is a mother herself, she will understand that I would have been there if I possibly could have been. I hope she will know deep in her heart that I missed her performances only because my body is failing me and that it has nothing to do with her or how much I love her.

I know this isn’t the worst thing in the world. I know I am richly blessed. I know God is teaching me. And I am grateful. Grateful for a husband that considers it a privilege to love me and take care of me. Grateful for four beautiful children that love the Lord and have weathered this storm remarkably well. Grateful for parents that love me. Grateful for friends who have given and given and given. Grateful for a church community that cares about me. Grateful for my amazing homeschooling community that has helped me care for my children for the past year. Grateful for family history work that has given me purpose and drive to wake up each day. Grateful for my Savior who is walking this path with me and sends me love notes on a regular basis. So, so grateful.

Today is February 2nd. My great-grandfather’s birthday. He lived to be 103 and lived on his own till he was 99. I want to live with the same courage, faith, and good-humor that he blessed all of us with. I want to develop his love for the Savior. I want to live to be 103!

February 2nd means it is February. One year since I injured my hip. One year of pain, frustration, tears, service beyond compare, love, miracles, the outpouring of the Spirit, and humbling.

One year.

Can I be healed now?

Related Posts


  1. Michelle

    Lots of love and healing sent your way! :)
    BTW, I see you are reading “Two Old Women”. How is it? It’s on my reading list too!

    • tracy

      I finished it several weeks ago…it is a great read…short and thought-provoking.

      Keep sending those healing vibes!

  2. Debbie

    I admire your spirit to be able to see the good and the blessings. What a blessing to have the purpose of geneology to keep your mind, heart, and spirit filled with purpose!