the ups and downs of mothering

Dec 1, 2010

I don’t always enjoy mothering. This week I haven’t been the most loving mama on the planet. I figured it out though…my period started on Monday and the last three times my period has started I have been the crabbiest person ever. I don’t know what is up, but my hormones have been in a serious flux since my miscarriage in August.

On top of hormonal issues, I have a lot of decisions on my plate and not enough time to give to the decision making process. I have too much on my to-do list and have been trying to grab some “me-time” in the day and my children feel me pulling away and cling all the more fiercely to me. I have somewhat forgotten to give first and get later.

Anyway, all of this has made me think about what I like least about mothering. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Whining

2. Sulking

3. Rudeness to other people

4. Children believing they can’t do something when I know they absolutely can

5. Being late and hurrying little ones out the door

6. Siblings being mean to one another

7. Ingratitude

8. Blaming me for everything that has ever gone wrong in their whole entire lives

9. Hearing them use my not-so-great words on their siblings

10. Children not noticing the mess and so not doing anything about it

11. Children noticing the mess and still not doing anything about it

12. Losing my patience when any of the above happens

After thinking of these things in bed last night, I started thinking of all the things I love about mothering. Thank goodness it is a much longer list.

1. Kisses, even wet slobbery ones

2. Hugs

3. Hearing Keziah read Annesley and Fisher a story

4. Hearing Blythe sing hymns with all the gusto she has

5. Watching my children be helpful to others without being asked

6. Taking Blythe to the temple

7. Hearing Fisher explain his latest invention

8. Seeing the joy in Annesley’s eyes

9. Keziah finding every lost item in our home

10. Hearing Keziah sing Gethsemane

11. Preparing food for my family that they love to eat

12. Snuggling up during family read-aloud time

13. Discussing freedom with Blythe

14. Enjoying their homemade smoothies

15. Kissing them awake

16. My children’s love of animals

17. Watching Fisher ride his bike super-fast down our road

18. Giggles

19. Seeing the look on their face when they understand something for the first time

20. Seeing Fisher tenderly help Annesley

21. Hearing my children speak of Jesus

22. Hearing my children pray

23. Reading the scriptures with my children

24. Discovering the world by their side

25. Going on hikes with my children

26. Seeing the look on their faces when they catch a fish…or a bug…or a frog…or a snake…or a mouse

27. Hearing them talk kindly to one another

28. Watching them grow in skills and capabilities

29. Hearing Annesley tell stories

30. Seeing how much they love their papa

31. Helping them learn new things

32. Hearing their voices as they drift off to sleep

33. Watching them play with their friends

34. Singing together

35. Creating cute things for them

36. Hearing Fisher say “Thank You”…melts my heart every time

37. Afternoon naps

38. Eating their yummy creations

39. Working all together happily

40. Teaching them about their ancestors

41. All the kisses and hugs and love they gave my grandma

42. Taking them to plays at Hale Centre Theatre

43. Seeing everyone all dressed up and fancy at the Family Ball each spring

44. Hearing Annesley sing Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam

45. Playing in the snow

46. Riding the kick-sled

47. Passover

48. Reading Christmas stories every night for the whole month of December

49. Teaching them how to bargain-shop

50. Going on mommy-daughter and mommy-son dates

Writing that all out has already helped me get my perspective back in place. Mothering is worth it. Mothering is an investment. Mothering brings me joy.

More than that, I know it is what God has called me to do and I want to nurture with an eye single to His glory. Sometimes I get so caught up in mortality, I forget why we are really here and who I really am. I also forget who they really are.

Children of God.