those lips

Jun 28, 2012

Yes, they are still quite kissable.

Last night I fell apart. I was in so much stinking pain and I was grumpy and feeling like all my decisions are messed up and what if these injections aren’t really working and how on earth can I go on living like this where I can’t even clean my house without hurting. Then, of course, I drifted into I am not mothering with enough love, I am the only one in this house who knows how to clean, and since that is so obviously true, I have failed at teaching them how to clean. Their future spouses will hate me because they are so incredibly incompetent at cleaning!!! The downward spiral of my thoughts. At least this time I cried to really help those toxic feelings out. Crying is pretty hard for me and I am always glad when I can release enough control to allow it to happen.

Do you ever fall apart like this? Of course, my period started yesterday as well. Pretty obvious that a huge drop in progesterone had something to play in all that, eh?

Anyway, when Richard came to bed and found me a sobbing mess he got right to work with his SimplyHealed magic and in about an hour I was a whole new girl. My hip was out of pain, my mood was not quite hopeful, but was way out of the total despair area, and I slept instead of tossing and turning with beat-myself-up-thoughts.

Now it is 7:09 on the morning of June 28 and I am feeling much better. It is the morning of THE DAY.

The day I knew he would marry me. The day I knew he loved me. The day my whole world changed.

So I woke up and kissed him.

Great start to a new day.