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hebrews 2:13
This past week I ponderized Hebrews 2:13. We studied the book of Hebrews in Sunday School last week and I fell head over heels in love with it. What a treasure trove! Of course, I have read it before, but this time through, my soul was hungry for its plain answers and powerful testifying of Christ and His mission.
And again, I will put my trust in Him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me.
I have trusted in God. Many times. And yet, I need to keep trusting. Again and again and again, I need to make the choice to trust Him fully. There are so many times I do not trust Him. So many times I lean unto my own understanding and rely on my own strength and allow fears and worries to kick out the peace of God.
We are facing some pretty big things right now and it is hard to stay in a place of trust. But I am actively trying. Every day, I am taking a few minutes in the morning to let Him speak to me and reassure me that I am in His keeping.
The greatest desire of my heart is that my children will trust God, that they will turn to Him and trust Him with their whole hearts. This week, my mind has more fully realized that I must model God’s love for them. Teaching and showing them how we trust Him needs to more evident in our daily lives.
twenty-two
I woke up this morning with his lips on my forehead and his tender voice whispering “Happy Anniversary.”
Twenty-two years of being loved by this man. Twenty-two years of being tutored in love’s actions and feelings. Twenty-two years of tenderness.
I am so blessed. So very richly blessed.
Last night I taught the Music Leaders of our Stake for 45 minutes. For the past several weeks I haven’t known what to teach. Nothing felt right. I didn’t feel like I should teach them anything about the mechanics of their calling or give them a list of things to do or not do. But I didn’t know what I should share. And then, just yesterday, it came to me. I needed to share the power of teaching doctrine to the children and how it changes lives. One part of that message was my sharing a little bit of my story and how the song “Families Can Be Together Forever” gave me something solid to hold on to when my family fell apart. As a young person, I wasn’t at all sure that families COULD be together forever, but this song gave me the courage to try to create a family that would be together forever. Everyone in the room cried. My face and neck were covered in tears as we each felt the power music can have in saving souls.
I am so, so grateful God gave me the courage to say yes to our marriage. Richard’s pervasive goodness, kindness, calmness, and steadiness has blessed me and changed me for the better. Our marriage has given me our precious children and a life of happiness in motherhood I could not have ever imagined. His love has transformed me.
This morning I read all the posts I have written on our past anniversaries and my heart filled up with joy. Oh my goodness, I love my Richard!
celebrating the family video
I saw this video yesterday and have to share it because I love it so much! I set a goal to memorize The Family: A Proclamation To The World this year in our homeschool and even had an awesome giant poster printed (thanks to Valena!) in the weeks right before Blythe left, but we haven’t started yet. I haven’t even hung the poster up! But today that is changing. Today we begin! This video gave me the nudge I needed to get back on track with this goal.
If you want to make your own giant 24 x 36 poster, here is the pdf file. The awesome Valena also made a matching poster for The Living Christ. You can download that pdf file here.
week 2
This week has been really good. Some days were less awesome, but we’ve seen some exciting success. On Wednesday we finally made contact with this lady named Joanie, who we’d tried to see pretty much every day since I got here. Her grandson, Elder Everette, is serving in this mission right now, though he’s in a different area. I’m not sure why, but she hasn’t seen him since he was little and his mom saw him recently and he got to baptize her. His dad is also somewhere in this mission. Anyway, we met with her and just talked a lot about God’s love and she seemed really open and her beliefs are already very similar to ours. We went back on Friday and taught her the Restoration and she was totally open to our message and we talked a lot. She is so, so sweet and grandmotherly and she even called us later that day to see if we were doing alright. She’s very centered on family and we are so excited to teach her the Plan of Salvation this week, either Wednesday or Thursday.
We got a referral for the first time which is a miracle because they’re hard to get and street contacting is sometimes not very effective – I’ll tell you why. In the whole time I been here we have hardly seen anyone walking the street. On Saturday we spent six or more hours walking and went through most of our available contacting area. We saw about ten people in all and only got eight contacts. People don’t come outside, not even in the parks. I am firmly convinced that the sidewalks here are purely for decoration because no one uses them. I’m not sure why they’re so proud of their California weather if they don’t go outside. Also on Saturday it was 100 something degrees outside. This is completely unusual. (Quick side note: It had rained twice since my trainer got here. It has rained twice since I got here. Normally the weather is really consistent.) It had been even hotter on Friday. with not a breath of air, so we had prayed that it wouldn’t be as bad, and that we could bear it walking for so long in the heat. That day was really hot and really tiring and the sun was merciless, but there was just enough of a semi-cool breeze that would come up every little while so we had some relief. The breeze isn’t even supposed to be cool at all. Apparently the winds blow off the desert toward the coast and it’s supposed to be hot wind. So I think that was a direct answer to prayer. Also, I was wrong about there being two gated communities in our area. There’s actually three. There are no major gathering places for people to walk around. It’s kind of like walking through a very well manicured, extra large ghost town. Even in the gated communities there are very few people outside. Our goal for contacts last week was 56. We got 20 and that was significantly better than the week before and we try to talk to almost everyone. We are seeing miracles, though not connecting directly to that. I know that God is rewarding our righteous efforts. The referral we received was after a long hard day and was totally out of the blue. We’ve been trying to get a referral for two weeks.
We are also trying to teach the Collins family. The mom, Leslie, has cancer. They want to be baptized, but we have to wait for her to feel good. There’s this awesome girl named Charlotte who had told a member that she wished she could go to church and the member was like “Well, you could come with me.” She wanted so badly to learn about the gospel, but her parents won’t let us teach her or let her get baptized, but they let her come to church and we do lessons for the young women on Preach My Gospel that she gets to come to. She read all of PMG and the Book of Mormon and is awesome. They’ve had her as an investigator for a while. We have to wait till she’s 18 and she’s only 16, but she is doing all she can.
Also, I forgot to tell you, but I saw Nick Huston and Marcus Perrenoud in the MTC.
Since I’m not learning a language, I got myself a Tongan Book of Mormon just for fun at the MTC. Then I got here and there is this awesome Elder from Tonga who I’ll have to tell you about sometime. I’m already understanding some of the words. But don’t worry, it’s not distracting me from the work. AND YES I TOTALLY WANT A UKULELE!!!!!!! Almost forgot that.
Oh, Thanks for the letter Annes! That’s super exciting about your math book! Love you.
Fisher, that’s so crazy about Sister Flora! My mission is going good. Sorry about the kittens.
Love you all!
Sister Blythe W.
squares and mazes, wahoo!
If you are anything like me, you pin things and then never do anything about them or flat out forget about them. Recipes, learning ideas, and home cutification ideas get pinned and forgotten on a fairly regular basis.
BUT, there is hope! I printed out two of my pins and introduced them to my children last Monday and they were both a huge hit! Then I took them to my Math ALIVE! class on Wednesday and my students gobbled them up and begged me to let them take the games home with them. So, now that I have tested them with nearly 20 children, I can say with absolute confidence that your children will love them as well…at least I am pretty darn sure they will! With the goal of creating more math lovers out in the world, I must share these winners!
The first is a spin-off of the dots/complete-the-squares game with multiplication problems added in. My dear boy did about 400 multiplication problems CHEERFULLY while we played the game. And his speed increased dramatically. The totally awesome Mathified Squares Game can be found here. My math students would have happily played it all hour if I would have let them. Instead, I taught them about Eratosthenes and blew their minds with how he measured the circumference of the earth within 200 miles of the measurement we have today.
We printed out lots of copies, grabbed a pair of dice, a cookie sheet, and two different colored pens, and dove right in. Now that I know my kids love it bunches and bunches, I might laminate them and use wipe-off markers, but I am a bit worried we would accidently erase some of our lines with our wrists as we move across the page. The same woman has several other different versions – addition, subtraction, factors, and more, but I am pretty sure those games need to be paid for. If she has a multiplication sheet for 12 sided dice, I will buy it, if not, I am going to make my own, so we can practice up to 12 x 12. (Fisher just told me he wants me to make one up to 20 x 20!)
The second is a large set of Skip-Counting Mazes. Annesley worked through about twenty of them in one sitting and pulled them back out today to do even more. Fisher discovered an error on one of the counting by 5 mazes, but even that error added to his learning as he triple checked all the numbers and possibilities before declaring with confidence that there was a mistake and the number 245 was missing.
Both of these activities are wonderful for cementing in those basic math skills we all need while not making it seem like the drill-n-kill approaches that so often shut little ones brains down.
We are on a math roll around here lately. Annesley finished her math book last week and started a new one today. She decided she wants to do 11 pages a day! And today she did it! I decided to introduce a new game to them today and it was a huge hit as well. Corners is from the RightStart Card Games Kit and is a fabulous game for working on multiples of 5 and addition. I wasn’t sure if Annes could handle it, but with a little bit of help once her score got into the 200s she did just fine.
d&c 76:24
Last week at the General Conference of our church we were issued the invitation to ponder and memorize a verse of scripture every week. Elder Durrant that issued the challenge, called this ponderizing. I used to do this when my children were younger, but we have gotten out of the habit the last several years and this was a great reminder to me to get back in the habit.
My scripture for this past week has been Doctrine and Covenants 76:24.
That by Him, and through Him, and of Him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters of God.
I am so grateful to live in a world created for me by my Savior, the person whose sole mission it is to redeem me, bring me happiness deep in my soul, and teach me to love as He loves. I am so grateful to know I am a child of God. It makes all the difference in my life to know I am His. Back in July, I wrote a post about the things I know, the things that have transformed my life and given me peace. I reread that post this morning and nothing I say today will say it better than what I said then, so I will let those thoughts be my message for today.
first letter from the field
Monday is Blythe’s P-Day, which means Preparation Day. It is the one day a week that missionaries can do laundry, buy groceries, check email, send letters, etc. She arrived in California on Tuesday and yesterday we received our first letter from her since she arrived in California. She sounds so happy! Our hearts are full with gratitude that she is doing well adjusting to missionary life and is working hard serving the Lord. Also, we chuckled a little at this letter as she has apparently adopted a new word, “chill,” as we have never heard her say this word as frequently as she does in this letter.
My first week has been awesome! I have literally felt no doubt or nervousness since that first day. I am serving in the Live Oak Canyon Ward, Rancho Santa Marguerite Stake, in a city called Trabuco Canyon.
My companion is Sister Shumway from Dallas, TX. She sort of reminds me of Alicia Horran. She’s awesome and nice. She has a quieter personality and she helps people feel comfortable. Everyone I’ve talked to says she’s an awesome missionary and from what I’ve seen they’re right. She not pushy, not nit-picky, but is able to stay focused and engaged in the work in an orderly manner. It’s nice because there’s barely even a “trainer/trainee” feel to our relationship. She is able to teach me and guide me through the training without making me feel like a student. She’s even said that she feels like she’s just with another missionary. I am so grateful that she is able to teach me well and still be equals and friends.
President Orgill is as awesome as everyone says, or more. You can totally tell he worked in Hawaii. He’s so kind and relaxed and concerned for your welfare. That first day we met with him and got all our paper work done and all the other stuff to get us started in the mission and had food and a little orientation. Then they gave us our bedding, we grabbed our pillow and they had us go take a nap. They had us spread out and lay on the pews in the chapel (which I thought was pretty funny). We got to sleep for about 1 hour and 45 minutes. That was the best! I think I mentioned this on Tuesday, but we’d all gotten about two hours of sleep the night before and by bedtime we were going to have been up for 21ish hours. Transfer meeting was awesome! When President Orgill started it off he says “Aloha” and everyone says “Aloha” back. They had everyone already present sing “Called to Serve” and had all the new missionaries walk in while they were singing and sit on the stand. President Orgill introduced us all. Then he announced who would be training who, and they’d run up and hug and they’d run down and hug. Some people brought some really funny presents for their trainees, such as an “It’s a boy” balloon and a duck and a turtle (not real, of course). Then he announced all the changes of companionships and every time he’d say one everyone would be like “Ah, Oh” and the new companions would run to each other and bear hug each other. It was awesome. One elder who is over 6 1/2 feet tall was put with a companion who is shorter than me (to co-train a new missionary who was perfectly in between their heights) so when he ran up to hug, he “ACCIDENTALLY” went to throw his arms around his companion, missed and went over his head, then was all like “Oops!” then hugged him for real. It was hilarious!
The first night we had dinner with the Ward mission leader and his wife (who are awesome) and a new convert, at this yummy taco place up the canyon. The next day we had a half P-day just to get anything we needed until Monday rolled around and did member visits to some of the coolest ward members. They’re way chill and fun to be around and with one lady we talked all about our favorite books and how yummy Thai food is. :) I like her a lot! Everyone so far has been awesome. That night we had a dinner appointment with a less active woman who married a very nice muslim man, so their sons name is way cool. It’s Shaffiq. Their house was super fancy, not huge, but everything was expensive, with a view of the valley, a fancy pool in the back and a yard for entertaining. She puts on big parties all the time. She was still pretty chill about it though.
Our area is pretty much this one long road going from this canyon, through the city and almost to the biggest gated communities in the world (where some famous person used to live apparently). There are two gated communities in our area and they’re a pain to work around. We can’t contact or tract. They would have to come talk to us first. We do have passes for them though, because ward members live there. Thursday we went down the length of our area and left info about General Conference for all the less actives. Only 4ish answered the door and one invited us in, but we left notes for them. Then we went contacting in an apartment complex which thankfully is not gated. We talked to several people who could be potential investigators. Sister Shumway says that’s the most success she’s seen her entire mission. She’s been out 4 months. By the way, one elder who was assigned a new trainee only got through 6 weeks of his twelve week training before he was assigned to train!. We are ward sharing with a companionship of elders, which works really well with getting to all the less actives. I love the zone and district. Everyone is fun and chill, with only the occasional socially awkward one. I don’t see them every day, but I did see them Thursday (a surprise party for an awesome elder from Tonga), Friday (zone/district kickoff meeting), Saturday (for Conference) and Sunday (for Conference). Haha! We all watched conference at the stake center together and on Saturday and had an impromptu potluck between sessions, it was totally awesome.
I have a ton of pictures for you, but somehow I forgot my cord this morning so you’ll have to wait another week. :( Just FYI, the picture that the nice lady from the airport sent you was not my MTC companion. That’s Sister Hollenbeck, a roommate and district member. I have so much more to say, but this will do for now. I love it here, I love the people and the area. My companion is awesome!
Oh! I saw the temple last night after a music fireside, and it’s pink granite, not white! I have more to say about it, but I’ll wait till I go in. I don’t get to go in every week, but every other transfer. :(
Brother King says he comes down here a lot and I want my violin. Maybe he could bring it to the mission office? I think there might have been something else I needed you to send, but I forgot. If you send my violin it would be great if it was with a person if you can. I don’t want it to get hurt. Also, could you put a humidifier in it?
Love you so much!
Sister Blythe W.
P.S. Tell Madi that I saw Dawson and Elder Arave (I forgot his first name.) Tell Emily I saw Logan, her dance partner. (At the MTC)
P.P.S. It’s not too much hotter down here, but the sun is more intense, and there’s just so much more of it.
P.P.P.S. The roads going through the canyons are about as wide as pasta noodles and as winding. Would be a total death trap with ice.
P.P.P.P.S. I GET TO SEE THE OCEAN TODAY!!!!!!
P.P.P.P.P.S. Keziah, there are sooooooo many palm trees. :)
15!
Miss Keziah turned 15 today! Last night I was up at 12:36 (the time she was born) working on a family newsletter. The house was dark and quiet. Richard was snoring on the couch as he waited for our sheets to finish drying. Everyone else was sound asleep and I was able to have a few minutes to think. I don’t know if all mothers do this, but I replay my children’s births in my mind on the anniversary of those births.
I went into last night feeling a bit less than. A bit like I am not measuring up. A bit like I am not giving my family my best and even if I am, my best is simply not sufficient – chores and meals and patience are so incredibly challenging for me even when I am on top of my game, and let’s face it, I am not on top of my game. Often when I feel like that, I push people away instead of draw them in. And so, even though I hadn’t done anything very prickly, I was feeling grumpy inside.
And then midnight rolled around. And I started to remember that middle of the night labor so many years ago. And my heart welled up with so much gratitude for my Richard and our Keziah and what an amazing girlie we created together and have raised together. I thought about how he pushed on my back and whispered in my ear and filled the birth pool and was a rock of strength and courage and love. I thought about how quickly she burst upon the scene and how he stayed calm. I thought about how good he is and how blessed I am to have such a kind, patient person to be my companion and how blessed Keziah is to have him for a papa.
And I stopped working on the newsletter just moments before her birth anniversary and went upstairs to hold him in my arms at the moment our amazing girlie was born and tell him “Thank you.” For everything. And I cried.
This morning we opened her presents and laughed with this hilarious girl who is so full of vim and vigor. Yes, some of the pics are blurry…shrieking with delight does that.
Fifth book in the Michael Vey series.
Piles of pancake mixes for birthday dream of eating pancakes for breakfast, french toast for lunch, and waffles for dinner.
The Cinderella movie she has been dying to own.
Her birthday book this year is What Do You Do With An Idea? You feed it and grow it and let it soar! Keziah is full of good ideas and I want her to know we believe in her ability to turn those ideas into reality.
This girl, oh my, this girl. Kez is one of my favorite people. It is quite fortunate that I am her mother and get to spend oodles of time with her. She is full to the brim with awesomeness. She works faster and harder than anyone I know, she is smart as a whip, tough as nails, beautiful, determined, and kick-butt hilarious. We love her to Pluto and back. She has excellent taste in movies, fantastic fashion sense, works and plays equally hard, and makes me laugh hard every single day. She still doesn’t wear make-up as it takes too much time, has lovely, thick beautiful tresses, and is surrounded by gobs of friends who love her. She recently purchased a bike with some of her summer earnings…a real bike…from a bike shop…so she can work on building her leg muscles and possibly start running again next year (she has been battling a knee injury due to hypermobility for over a year) and I love watching her cycle away down our road. This girl is so full of determination and awesome sauce, it is my job to simply love her as she grows and matures into a young woman ready to take on the world. She makes her school/work/play schedule up every week and then she does it. I don’t have to remind her or nag or wake her up or anything. She goes and does what she sets out to do.
Oh, how I love her!
Here are some pics of her over the last year.
One of my favorite pictures of her…she looks so sweet and innocent.
Being crowned Emperess in her Shakespeare class. She had to do a ton of work to earn this award – vocabulary, memorizing soliloquy, writing papers, AND reading, watching, or listening to 47 of Shakespeare’s plays and other writings.
As Puck in her Shakespeare group’s performance of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
A big group of her friends all got ready together for the Homeschool Prom back in April. She is the one on the far right in the front in the white dress.
After the Prom and back home with her big sister.
Love this pic of the girls sticking their heads through an inner tube on their way to float the river on the 4th of July. The whole Suburban was full of tubes and towels and food and people and the only way I could get a pic was to have them bend way down and look through the opening. I think it is my favorite pic of these two precious girls of ours.
Fancy hair while camping. Andie did everyone’s hair most of the days we were there and since Keziah’s is the longest and thickest, it is the most fun to work with. Behold Andie’s creation.
Hiking with Blythe and her cousins from Tami’s clan.
She is a pro at making silly faces. She was disgusted with something gross while we were camping.
Swimming with her bestie, Courtney, big sister, Blythe, and dear friend, Emily.
At Blythe’s mission farewell with lots of friends…and one of her signature silly faces.
My dad came out for Blythe’s mission farewell and stayed for a few days to visit. He took the kids on a hike up to a really awesome cave.
Playing Ticket To Ride for one last time before Blythe left and showing off her squeezable water bottle that she is so in love with.
All of our kiddos being silly before our real family photo shoot.
The real family photo of all our cute kiddos.
Miss Keziah, Happy Birthday! Thank you for being such force for good in this world!
liberty girls
I love mentoring Scholars. LOVE it. Youth that have their heads screwed on straight, have the tenacity and courage to do hard things, the desire to learn, and the ability to digest and discuss big ideas are my favorite students. So for the past five years I have spent my time (hundreds of hours!) teaching those youth. Reading stuff like The Communist Manifesto, Unbroken, Mere Christianity, The Hiding Place, Animal Farm, To Destroy You Is No Loss, Flag of Our Fathers, and Hiroshima and then discussing them with my students has brought me so much joy. It lights a fire in my soul to be part of a young person’s education, to help them understand the world in new ways and to see themselves with new eyes.
This spring, I knew I needed a break. After the car accident in January, I was barely making it through each day. Unable to use my mouth much, eating liquids nearly exclusively, and being in constant pain wore me out and not knowing how I would be doing this fall, I decided I needed to take a complete break from mentoring. But sometime in April, the quiet whisperings of the Spirit started entering my heart and prompted me to start a Liberty Girls group for Annesley. I don’t particularly enjoy teaching other people’s young children. Loving and teaching my own is one thing, but children who are not mine is a whole ‘nother story. So I kind of rejected the idea. But the promptings kept coming and I kept pondering. Finally in June I decided I really needed AND wanted to go on this adventure with my Annesley.
After lots more thinking and planning, we invited nine girls between the ages of seven and nine to join us, chose our theme for the semester, and selected the books we would read and discuss. Our theme is Finding Courage and we are reading books about girls who found their courage and learning about our ancestors who acted with courage in their lives. We are reading The Courage of Sarah Noble and Understood Betsy…such gems! We meet every other week and have a book discussion, Courage Presentation by one of the girls about one of her ancestors who showed courage, snack & outside play time, and an activity related to the book that is both prepared and taught by the Meeting Mother for that week (because being in charge of an activity is not my forte AT ALL!).
We are having so much fun! We have met together four times and I have fallen in love with my Liberty Girls. They are full of courage, kindness, faith, eagerness, and so much ZEST. They make me laugh and I have been amazed at the thoughts they share during our book discussions.
At our Kick-Off Party, the Meeting Mother taught the girls how to make their very own bags using tea towels, staples, and duck tape. The girls needed guidance, but they were totally able to do it on their own and now they have their very own super cute bags to carry their Liberty Girls books and snacks to each of our meetings. Then we went to a nearby Splash Park to have some wet summer fun and develop strong friendships within our group as they ran around and played games in the water.
At our first official meeting, we had our first Courage Presentation, discussed the first half of The Courage of Sarah Noble, and then went on a hike just like Sarah did in our book. I wasn’t quite up to walking that day, so the girls pushed me in my wheelchair. I was amazed at the insights they shared on the book. The concept of “Keep up your courage” sunk deep into their souls and they shared lots of experiences where they needed to find courage and then keep it up. Sarah’s courage in leaving her mother and siblings to help her father by cooking for him while he built their new home inspired these girls to do hard things as well.
At one point on our hike, one of the girls lost a flip-flop (not even her own flip-flop, another girl had let her borrow them) in a swampy, murky spot of water. It was disgusting! The girls searched and searched for about 15 minutes and could not find the sandal in the water. Then they prayed and asked for help and with courage plunged their sticks and hands in to the sludge one more time. And they found it! They came running back to me sitting in my wheelchair out on the trail shrieking, Miss Tracy, we kept up our courage, we kept up our courage! The water was so gross and we kept searching and didn’t give up! And then we prayed and then God helped us find it!” Oh my goodness, my heart filled up with JOY!
Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of the sandal swamp incident since I couldn’t get down there.
The girls found some turtles swimming in the water. You probably can’t see them, but there are about 5 turtles down there in front of them.
Then we found ducks and geese and some kind college kids gave the girls some bird food. They had a blast feeding them and holding the little ones.
As they were pushing me back to the car, we were walking on a road (a hardly ever traveled road!) and the girls were worried a car would hit me in my wheelchair, so they formed a barrier wall and marched in front of me protecting me. Cracked me up! And trust me, if I was actually concerned that a car would be traveling down that road, I wouldn’t have let them walk down the middle of it.
Mentoring these young girls is so much fun. They are alive with curiosity, willingness to learn new things, and so much silliness. They love to play with our kittens, run around our yard in all sorts of imaginary worlds, and share all the excitements of their lives. It is a sacred honor to be part of their character development and to be gifted this opportunity to learn and grow with them.
I will try to get photos from our next two meetings posted soon!
mtc
Wednesday, September 16 was the big day we have been looking forward to for the past many months. Before that day came we had to have purchased a gazillion things, packed it all up, had her set apart by our Stake President, had her final dates with her siblings, parents, and grandparents, said all of our goodbyes, and emptied out her room so Annesley could move in. Most of those things happened…but not all of them.
The last few days before she left were full of lasts. Last date with each of her siblings. Last date with Madi, her best friend. Lunch with her grandparents. Last movie night with us a family. Last time playing her favorite music on our piano. Last time taking a llllooooonnnnngggg shower. There were also lots of firsts. First time packing suitcases instead of duffle bags. First time being set apart as a full-time missionary. First time sharing her testimony of Christ as a missionary. First time being gone from us for more than a few days.
That last week there were so many things that still needed to be purchased. A blazer, a robe (never actually found one that would work!), scripture marking pencils, nail care set, sewing kit, shampoo and conditioner, highlighters, a navy blue cardigan, static guard, SD card, a curling iron, skirt hangers, a watch, luggage tags, and a gazillion other little things. Some angels in disguise came to our rescue and sent us money or sent stuff via Amazon Prime so we could get all those last minute things. My heart wells up with tears of joy every time I think about the help we have been given to get her out the door. A year ago when all this started in earnest, I remember saying, “I have no idea how we will be able to pay for her mission, much less get her all the stuff she needs to serve.” and my mom said, “Well, you need to trust. As she works hard saving money, God will help all of you to be able to do this. If a mission is where God wants her to be, He will be in the details.” And she was right. He has been with us and has sent many hands and hearts to help. Thank you to each of you who have blessed us with love, encouragement, and money – you are being God’s hands.
The Friday before we started packing in earnest and tried to figure out the best way to first, make everything fit, and second, make it most efficient for use. Since she will be flying to California, she had to abide by the airplane rules of a 50 lb. weight limit and nothing larger than 62 dimensional inches. And if she would have been flying straight to California, that would have been pretty easy-peasy. BUT she has a two week stay at the Missionary Training Center, MTC for short, before she flies out. And she hates packing. So I decided it would work best for her if we could make everything she would need for the two weeks at the MTC fit into one suitcase and everything else fit into the other two bags. Kat came over for several hours on Sunday helping us figure things out. It was pretty hilarious for her super organized packing brain to be in the same room with our scatterbrained non-packing brains – good thing she has a heart of gold and was able to be patient with us. We didn’t successfully get anything packed, but we got most of the stuff ready to be packed. We also figured out lots of things that wouldn’t work.
Monday morning Blythe left to spend the day with her grandparents and running last minute errands and I utilized the time to get the packing thing completely figured out with no interference from her or anyone else. I watched a few packing videos online and got to work implementing all my brainstorming ideas that had come in the night while I tossed and turned. As the morning progressed, it appeared my brilliant one MTC bag would work! I was able to get her MTC bag packed with everything she would need for two weeks and get everything else to fit in the other two bags. Throughout that day I packed and unpacked everything several times, weighed, adjusted, weighed some more. Then our neighbor came over who is about to leave on her mission and wanted some ideas from us (as if we know what we are doing!), so nearly everything got unpacked again. By this time, I was a pro. I quickly got it all packed back up and ready to go. And I went to bed that night feeling pretty darn accomplished. Then I realized I still hadn’t solved the shampoo and conditioner problem, made her a rice pack, made copies of her mission call, found some hair serum, found a robe, packed her last minute odd and ends, etc. Tuesday was spent finishing up all those last minute details and Blythe and Keziah went on a date to see “Once I Was A Beehive” and then late that night Kat came over again and helped us finish up the last of the packing using all her mad packing skills to solve the last few challenges. She also made Blythe an adorable rice bag since I never got to it…superhero is all I can say about Miss Kat. When all was loaded, her two checked bags weighed in at 47 and 48 lbs and we were ready to walk out the door!
Now the emotional side of all of this is a whole different story. From about the time my dad left on the 3rd clear through to the 14th, I was a grumpy mama bear. Deep sadness entered my soul and no matter how I tried to reason it away, it would not leave. The thought of our family being forever changed by Blythe’s leaving was so overwhelmingly painful. The realization that my phase of mothering my little children in my home was ending and a new phase beginning hit me as a gale force wind and I needed to grieve the ending before I could welcome the beginning. I was easily irritated, then frustrated with myself for spending these last precious days with my girlie in such an unpleasant state of being, then sad all over again. We were all trying so hard to be loving and to savor these moments together and yet I was miserable at the thought of her leaving. And then on the 14th as I folded her laundry, God reached out and gave me a gift. He wrapped me up in his love for her and filled me with gratitude that I have a daughter who loves Jesus so much she is willing to go and share His message of redemption and happiness with complete strangers.
Late Tuesday night, Blythe was set apart as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The six of us plus Richard’s parents attended this special blessing and it was a beautiful, sacred experience to feel the Spirit so strongly and to hear powerful blessings pronounced upon my daughter’s head.
Wednesday morning we left bright and early to make the 4 hour drive to Provo. My heart was full of joy. Full of happiness. It was quite miraculous to experience so much joy when for the past many days I had been mired in grief. The rain poured down all day and at times we could barely see the road, but we were able to get to Provo with just enough time to take her to lunch at our favorite place, The Old Spaghetti Factory. We didn’t know if we would be able to do that or not, but I was able to squirrel away enough pennies to make it happen, so it was super fun to surprise her with one last fun outing – may the delicious Spinach Tortellini fill her up with our love for her for the next 18 months. Then we had just few minutes to get up to the Provo temple to take the obligatory temple fountain picture. We still needed to pack her makeup and hair stuff she had used that morning into her suitcase, so we sent the 4 kiddos up to take pictures while Richard and I made sure everything was completely ready in her bags.
At this point, everyone was still laughing and smiling. We were about 6 minutes from dropping her off and everyone was super happy and taking silly pictures.
Then the moment came. We entered the MTC parking lot and came to the drop-off line. We were quickly directed to our drop-off spot and started unloading her things.
Her face changed from one of silliness to soberness.
I was filled from head to toe with peace. Indescribable warmth and joy and glorious peace filled me and I knew we were in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. God wrapped me up in His peace. What a feeling! I have heard other people describe this peace when a loved one has died or some other tragic thing has happened, but I have never experienced such a powerful feeling of tenderness from my Father in Heaven. I think He knew I needed this extra measure of comfort. The amazing thing is, it is still with me.
Then Keziah jumped out of the suburban and gave her big sister the hug of a lifetime…so much tenderness and love in that hug.
Then Annesley jumped out and ran into Blythe’s arms.
Fisher couldn’t bring himself to get out, so Blythe went over and gave him a tearful hug goodbye.
And then with courage, faith, and determination, she walked away into her new life as a missionary. So proud of her! I always said I would have served a mission if I hadn’t been married beforehand, but seeing how much courage it takes, boy howdy, I don’t know if I would have actually had enough.
And this is what our faces looked like as we drove away – lots of tears and sadness. Somehow, I didn’t cry. My joy at that moment was too great for tears and as I had been crying for weeks, it was time for me to bask in the truth of John’s wise words.
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
3 John 1:4
None of the kids wanted to do anything fun on our way home. They were all full of sadness and deep thoughts. We tried to go to Scheel’s to ride the Ferris Wheel thinking that would cheer the kiddos up, but the ride was closed for maintenance. We went and visited Jessica for a bit, but even seeing our dear friends didn’t cheer the kids up. Then we stopped at Tami’s where she fed us a delicious dinner of Chicken Tortilla Soup.
Such a beautiful day!
My heart is full of joy and I am so grateful to have had the privilege of raising this daughter who loves goodness and puts God first in her life. She is my hero!
I'm Tracy, a mama with big dreams, crazy ideas, loads of laughter, an insatiable desire to learn, and enormous piles of laundry.
