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healing my hip, what a journey
I started physical therapy back in April and it has been a little rough. Pretty darn painful most of the time I am there and then really painful after I leave, but I have continued to attend my sessions because I felt prompted by the Spirit to go and I am trying to trust that prompting and trust that it will help.
And I think it is helping! With regards to hip pain, the last two weeks have been the best two weeks in the past fifteen months. I have had far, far less pain, more mobility, more range of motion, and more stability than I have had since the labral tear in February 2012. I was amazed at how well I did at Swim Camp and was able to move around relatively pain free most of the time (I did have a little setback when I ran across the field to rescue Fisher from a bloody nose, but other than that my hip held up fabulously well.) and even when I was in pain, it was nothing compared to the last many months.
So, it is helping. The joint is gliding more smoothly and my pubic bone is staying in its correct spot. Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah! At yesterday’s appointment we successfully found two exercises I could do that didn’t cause me to pass out (at my appointment two weeks ago, everything we tried did cause me to pass out) and now I can start doing them at home.
Dr. Jones also thinks he has solved part of the mystery. Yesterday he was able to find my femoral nerve and trace it to its insertion point. He could feel that it was entrapped by scar tissue and that it is angry and constantly firing. He had me arch my back and move my head different directions and my femoral nerve would fire and I would wince. I guess that isn’t supposed to happen. Arching my back or turning my head shouldn’t effect my femoral nerve at all. I am pretty sure my pudendal nerve is also entrapped because I have most of those symptoms as well.
The downside of all of this is my ovary is really hurting. It is also entrapped by scar tissue and keeps twisting. Earlier today I thought I might die (hyperbole, but boy, howdy, it was painful) and tonight I am moving pretty gingerly so it doesn’t flare up again.
Sometimes I want to curl up in a ball and cry my little eyes out, but I am determined to heal. I am determined to do everything I can to get my body back. And if I can’t have my body back, I am determined to make the most of what I have, and live life to the fullest. I am a fighter.
swim camp 2013
Last week was our 10th Annual Homeschool Swim Camp. Ten years! I can’t believe a small spur-of-the-moment camp-out when I was 36 weeks pregnant with Fisher has turned into such a wonderful (and huge!) gathering of family and friends.
This year we endured three days of nearly constant rain, freezing cold nights, and flooded tents and enjoyed three days of sunshine, good conversations, big leaps in swimming skills, delicious food, a hilarious skit night emceed by Jennifer, endless Capture The Flag games, hours of sitting at the pool while Annesley swam her little heart out, lots of cousins, a snuggly snake that Fisher quickly made into his best friend, s’mores made with Reeses (um, can you say yummo?), an adorable song about happiness written by Boo for all the children, massage night, birthday party for Marcus, and loads of laughter.
Unfortunately, I misplaced my camera at the beginning of the week and didn’t find it until the last day, so I missed lots of great moments. Thank goodness that Jessica and Melissa took a ton of photos!
This year was like a family reunion for me! Camille, my first cousin and bestie since the age of five came with six of her children. Three of my second cousins, Tami (with six of her eight), Melissa (with three of her four), and Nikki (with three of her five) joined us. Then Tami’s friend from high school, KeeNan, came with her five children and her husband (lucky girl, the rest of us were husbandless) and Tami’s best friend, Boo, came with her four children. Every day was a party over in my section of the campground. On Friday we celebrated Camille’s son’s 16th Birthday complete with cake and ice cream. I will always remember the day he was born and how brave and resilient Camille was during his birth.
Checking people in always takes me hours and hours and this year was no different. I think I helped people for about ten hours straight on Monday and about six hours on Tuesday. After that I was able to relax and enjoy being with everyone. We had about 40 families join us this year with 89 children in swimming lessons and lots of babies and teens who are either to young or have graduated out of lessons. People went on hikes, rode bikes, huddled under shade shelters, explored the woods, played Capture the Flag (a Swim Camp tradition) and spent lots of time in the water. Speaking of spending lots of time in the water, my Annesley got in everyday at nine in the morning and didn’t get out until six or seven at night. She is a fish!
Thanks to Miracle Salve from Butterfly Express her skin didn’t fall off and amazingly didn’t even turn all red and dried out looking like all the other years. I think I need to buy gallons of the stuff!
I spent almost all of my time at the pool with Annesley. So most of the time I only got to visit with people who came to sit by me. Tami brought a magical zero-gravity chair to camp and I CAN SIT IN IT! Hallelujah! It is so stinkin’ exciting to sit down. I sat in it at the pool, at the fire, and we even took it to church on Sunday so I could sit through the meetings. Oh my goodness, it is wonderful! She left it at my house and insists it is my birthday present so now I get to sit in it all the time. Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!
Fisher was super easy to spot in his lessons in his bright, green swim attire. He spent almost as much time in the pool as Annesley, but he also had plenty of time to hunt bugs and other creatures.
One day during the rain a group of us moms spent the morning playing Heads Up, an app that is a combination of Taboo and Charades. We laughed hard, flailed our bodies in every direction, and made utter fools of ourselves. It took me back to our days of teenage-hood when we played games for hours and hours at family reunions. I have to say Jessica’s scootering imitation had all of us snorting.
Here is Camille who I can’t imagine my life without. We met when we were five years old and have been more like sisters than cousins ever since. She helped my through childhood, my parent’s divorce, teenage angst, early marriage, mothering toddlers, learning how to be a homemaker, and everything in between. I love her to the moon and back and am so glad she came to join us. I haven’t seen her for awhile and I miss our girl time together.
Tami came all the way from Australia just for Swim Camp (just kidding, she is in the States visiting for seven weeks while her oldest graduates from high school and gets ready to leave on his mission for the LDS church).
She gives wonderful massages and I was able to be spoiled with two of them although anytime she or Boo got near my IT Band I went through the roof. As soon as my hip is all better I will enjoy a massage without jumping in pain. We also laughed our heads off, ate lots of yummy food, and she helped me through the one and only passing out episode of the week.
Jessica was my camping partner and together with Jen and Kat we had pretty fancy lodgings. Kat’s parents came up to set up their double canopy shelters so we could have shade and protection from the ever present rain. It was so cold we only ate a few meals under them though, the rest of the time we hauled our food up to the warm pool house.
Jennifer, aka Captain Literally, knocked our socks off at Skit Night. Wish she would have had time to complete her superhero costume with tights, shorts, and cape. (Thanks for the photo, Jess.) She also was our emcee and shared hilarious jokes in between all the skits – “What does the shy pebble wish for? To be a little bolder!”
My 2nd cousin (our grandmothers are sisters), Melissa, came up with her three adorable children. Her goal was to spend lots of time talking to the experienced homeschooling mothers and figure out how to do this whole homeschooling gig. After talking to her, I think she has it down…lots of wonderful ideas, a solid foundation, and excellent mothering skills – she has it made in spades. I wish she would move up here and join our community of awesome families.
Melissa’s sister, Nikki, joined us on Friday (she missed all the bad weather, lucky girl!) and what fun is she! These two girls are from one of my favorite cousin families. I envied them while we were growing up. They all (nine children and two amazing parents) seemed so happy and put together while I felt my family was falling apart on a regular basis. Now that we are grown up, I love them even more and am thrilled to pieces they decided to come and join in our fun.
Melissa and Nikki with some of their children.
Here are Melissa, Tami, me, and Nikki trying to get one decent photo, but Boo was dancing around behind us pinching our bottoms and none of the photos turned out that great. What is it with my squinty and/or closed eyes???
Finally a halfway decent one, just ignore my squinty eyes with giant bags under them!
Before we went to Swim Camp, my mom helped me (who am I kidding, she made them, the kids and I slightly assisted…someday I’m sure I will become proficient in the kitchen!) make 14 dozen chocolate mint cookies. They were greatly enjoyed at camp and I used them as payment every time I asked a youth to do a favor for me…like move a gazillion tables to our canopy area.
Fisher and Jared, two bug-catching soulmates, spent much of their time hunting creatures. On Friday they found a snake and it lived in their arms for the next 48 hours or so. Unfortunately it escaped on Sunday afternoon and rivers of tears were shed (thankfully it escaped while it was outside, otherwise I would be having snake-attack-nightmares).
Melissa and Jen
Boo teaching the children the “I’m Happy” song. We performed it at skit night and I’m sure made everyone’s night full of sunshine and smiles.
Melissa and me…finally I have my eyes open!
Friday night was the first night it was nice enough to do campfire singing and my annual storytime. Thanks to Tami’s chair I was able to sit at the fire and read Just Rewards, Or, Who is That Man in the Moon and What’s He Doing Up There Anyway? . We sang lots of songs, learned some more, and then closed with a reading of Loud Emily. I only made it a paragraph in when an ember from the fire shot down Annesley’s suit and burned her, so Jessica took over with me and did a fine rendition of Emily’s very loud voice.
Boo and Tami, so glad these two found each other a few years back when they lived in the same neighborhood in Colorado. I love both of them to pieces. Boo wrote a song about friendship…I want to share the words…can I? Or are you going to publish this song somewhere. I cried my little eyes out when she sang it at Skit Night.
Annesley was our lucky child to get David for a teacher this year. He is THE BEST swim teacher and he makes sure to get one of my children in his class each year. Fisher has had him for the past three years, so it was Annesley’s turn for David’s teach-children-to-swim magic.
Good friends from years of attending swim camp together. Here are Derek, Kayden, Blythe, Keziah, and Eve.
Keziah and her swim pass wristbands. Every year she and a whole group of her friends keep their Swim Camp wristbands on for as long as possible. Keziah’s 2012 band just fell off in April, so it looks like these ones will be part of our life for months to come.
We always camp in spot #34, right next to the tree. It is the one perk of spending hours organizing Swim Camp. I get to choose my spot and every year we are right here next to the one and only tree in the campground.
Darci, one of our awesome swim instructors, and Kat.
The besties, Morgan (Boo’s daughter) and Teryn, (Tami’s daughter) hanging out while we pack up camp.
My Annes – always full of spunk.
Making s’mores with friends and cousins – a favorite nightly tradition.
I am so glad Cami and I started this event clear back in 2004. It has brought our homeschool community together and built friendships among children, youth, and families. It is so much fun – even with all the rain, soaking wet towels, freezing cold nights, diarrhea, puking, chlorine-burned faces, and all the work to make it happen – it is totally worth it. My children love it and that is enough for me to continue to make it happen every year.
we love music
Blythe and Keziah play the violin and recently started taking piano lessons as well. Right now we have an awesome teacher who comes to our home (can you shout, YAZOO!) and teaches both of them on both instruments. I am in love with the set-up as it requires no driving for me and no entertaining of my little ones while the older ones have lessons. We just hole up in my room and do math and reading and games while the girls have their two hour lesson. Two weeks ago they had their Spring recital and played beautifully.
Yes, she is wearing ponytails all over her arm. She always has ponytails around her wrist, but I can’t believe I didn’t notice she had them on for the recital. If I had she would have been reminded to take them off.
Blythe just started piano lessons in February. I am amazed at how much progress she has made in just a few short months.
Here she is with her beloved violin, Niphredil (yes, she named her violin after a flower in Middle Earth, you LOTR fans can shout hurrah). She loves to create beautiful pieces and spends her free time dancing in the yard while she plays – now that is talent, don’t you think?
Getting a picture of these two smiling without the silliness is nigh on impossible…
Refreshments were enjoyed by all the little brothers and sisters.
I will sure miss these days of music bursting out the walls of our home when these two girls leave home. They play constantly and I often wake up to their music. I am so grateful Blythe set us on this path so many years ago.
i am alive
Soooo, it has been awhile since I posted. Sorry about that – I’m sure my loyal readers have been completely lost without me that past many days *snort*!
In the past fourteen days we have had piano & violin recital, the last day of gym, an amazing day at the temple, a visit from my mama, a week of Swim Camp, a visit from my Tami (cousin and dear friend since about 1986) and six of her children, a huge move-the-puppies-out-of-the-garage project, a hike and fishing along the Snake, physical therapy, a loose tooth, a trip south on which I lost my phone, a book-sorting party for the Read-A-Thon, and piles and piles of laundry.
But, I am alive and well and hope to be able to post about our adventures soon.
awesome conference giveaway!
It’s that time of year again! The LDS Holistic Living Conference and Expo (ldsholisticliving.com) is right around the corner. In the past, it’s been just a one day event on a Saturday, but this year they are having an awesome keynote speaker, Camille Fronk Olson, the Friday night before. She is the author of many written works, but her book Mary, Martha, and Me: Seeking the One Thing that is Needful is so inspirational.
It’s going to be held Friday and Saturday, June 21-22. The Friday keynote will be at Noah’s in Lindon, UT from 5:00-7:00 and the Saturday Conference is at Paradigm High School in South Jordan and runs all day starting at 8:30. The free and open to the public vendor area looks like a wealth of knowledge in and of itself!
The Saturday speakers and classes are incredible!
One highlight is Randall Edward who will be speaking on Holistic Living and Spiritual Gifts–a Practical Guide. His class will explore the idea of understanding the correlation between health and medical choices and the gifts of the spirit.
And Cliff and Judy Dunston are speaking on The Praise Principle–the class description says, “The Praise Principle is the light that we get to participate in to align ourselves with the Lord. Then when we commit to Praising the Lord then He can work His Miracles in our life. It is practicing Faith in the Lord with full trust and the results are amazing.”
And Neal Bosshardt, owner and founder of Redmond Clay will be doing a clay class that is hands on in making preparations to treat spider bites, burns and infections. Also classes on the art of muscle testing (the energetic responses to what we say, do, think, and feel, a great diagnostic tool), and the power of chakras! And that’s just a small handful of the classes offered. There is really something for everyone.
You can register at the door, but you will save a bundle by registering online and by June 1 for $11 per class! Not only that,…..
- Wet Oatmeal Kisses readers get 15% off by using coupon code: 2013PP15 at checkout. Go here to register. I’ll be there, hope to see you there too!
- We are hosting a giveaway for one FREE Saturday registration! Leave a comment with all the lovely reasons you want to attend and I will select one lucky winner on Saturday, June 1.
the list
- Cleaned out the camper, check.
- Figured out my four meals for swim camp, check.
- Survived physical therapy, check.
- Made it through the Cultural Literacy Bee, check.
- Made it through the Girls’ Camp Meeting, check.
Now, I can move on to the next gazillion things I need to do in the next few days.
- Do a frillion batches of laundry.
- Clean my whole house before my mom gets here in a few hours.
- Find all the stuff we need for swim camp.
- Buy the rest of the food we need for swim camp.
- Find a lovely gift for my mama’s birthday.
- Fix the spreadsheet with all the participants’ information for swim camp so registration can go smoothly on Tuesday morning.
- Figure out what is wrong with Sadie.
- Mow the yard.
- Help Kez finish her math book for the year.
- Clean my filthy bathroom.
- Get rid of the hornet nests in the camper.
- Find a rug that will fit in the camper.
- Find a cleat/pedal system for my bike that won’t hurt my hip.
- Make our favorite granola.
- Make cookies and other yummy treats.
- Prepare my lesson for Sunday.
- Teach my last gymnastics classes of the year.
- Take my girls to recital rehearsal.
- Take my girls to recital, take lots of pictures, and clap with polite applause (I don’t think my standard wild applause is appropriate at a music recital, is it?
- Call all the swim instructors to remind them about swim camp.
- Finish cleaning out the garage (my project from two weeks ago) and put all the stuff back in that has been sitting on our driveway since I started the whole thing.
- Pray away the rain clouds that are threatening to be ever present during our week of camping.
Ahhh, so much to do. Not enough of me to do it all. Time to get to work.
a ballet dream
Since my Blythe was a very little girl she has dreamed of dancing. She has read many ballet books and watched ballet movies and productions, but until this year she has not had the opportunity to take ballet lessons. I begged a local dance teacher to create a beginning class for teens and she agreed to do it if we could get enough students.
Well. A project like that is right up my alley (don’t ask me to cook food for large groups of people though!) and I got right to work recruiting older girls for a beginning ballet class. Soon we had more than enough and the girls started learning and building muscles and increasing their flexibility.
A few short weeks later Blythe was invited to join the advanced class and soon after that she was ready to go on pointe. It all felt like a whirlwind to me. I thought we were signing up for a little beginning class one night a week and all of a sudden we were doing ballet three nights week, being fitted for pointe shoes, and hardly seeing our daughter at all. It was a huge sacrifice for our family AND it was worth it.
This past weekend was Blythe’s recital. She shined. She has learned so much in nine short months. She danced with both her beginning class and her advanced class, four numbers in all.
And it was lovely.
And I cried.
And I was filled with happiness for this girl whose dream finally came true.
Unfortunately I took video of the dances and don’t have very many pictures!
Blythe in her closing bow.
Keziah in her closing bow.
Blythe
Keziah, Blythe, Spencer, and Madi
Madison and Blythe, dear friends and ballet lovers.
Blythe and Keziah after it was all over. See how happy she is. Maybe if she had a dance recital every day she would smile more often!
The entire company.
some birthday presents
My birthday was almost two weeks ago, but I am so behind on life I am just barely getting around to uploading pictures of my birthday presents. My mama gave me two adorable yellow signs to brighten my days. I cleaned my room and made a place for them to hang so I can see them the minute I wake up each morning.
Isn’t this what we all need? A little encouragement to be awesome?
My nickname when I was little was Sunshine and I love this sign she made me oh, so much. It takes me back to a less complicated time when my parents both doted on me, my body moved like the wind, I was a superstar on all my sports teams, and I was surrounded by a community of people that loved me.
Jennifer gave me this darling pillow she sewed up for me. Through this long journey of hip injury and subsequent pain, she has reminded me again and again that “Calm seas do not strong sailors make” and she made matching pillows for Jessica and I to remember we are being tried and tested, but in the end, if we depend on Christ, we will be stronger.
Kat gave me a huge bag of chocolates. Sadly enough, I ate them all in a few short days and had no time to take pictures!
Richard gave me some darling stoneware that matches our Fiesta Dishes, but I am taking it back so I can get some cycling shoes. Someday soon I will be riding my bike! Right? Right?
Jessica and Ames brought over Gator Bites and Moose Tracks – two of my favorite foods. Sadly, no picture of those either! We consumed them way too fast.
When I saw this sign, I knew I needed it and I gave it to myself. Brad Wilcox’s talk His Grace Is Sufficient changed my life when I heard it a few years back. Living in His grace is a way of life and one I am trying cultivate more and more in my life.
Now, my mom’s birthday is coming up in two short days and I haven’t figured out a thing for her!
a mind of her own
My Annesley is *so* much like me. So much it brings me joy AND scares the daylights out of me.
Today after Sacrament meeting, Richard brought me home because my heart rate was up around 100 and my arms were numb. He went back to church and taught the lesson in Elder’s Quorum and after church started rounding up the children. But Annesley was no where to be found. Full on searching ensued by many people. Still no Annesley. Finally a man in the parking lot tells Richard that his wife just took Annes back inside.
It turns out Annesley decided to walk home by herself – down a busy highway where cars drive 60 mph. This couple saw her and thought it unsafe for her to be walking down the busy highway, so they talked to her and convinced her to get in their car with them to go back to the church.
I don’t know what is worse! The fact that she was walking home alone or the fact that she got into a car with someone. Be still my heart!
Yes, we will be having some discussions on safety and rules and all that jazz, but the truth is, she is super independent just like me and will do what she wants. Our only hope is to carefully guide and teach her in a way that she will choose to make the right choices.
laxity is not my favorite thing
Yesterday was rough. Really, really rough.
Physical therapy was painful and bones shifted out of place and tears were shed and Dr. Jones (aka Jeremy – the physical therapist) said I am much, much more lax than he previously thought and our exercise and strengthening plan was put on hold.
The tiny amount of muscle work we did yesterday sent everything into spasm and pulled my pelvic bones way out of place. The spasms continued for several hours even with electrical stimulation and a giant ice pack. So, we are going to have to take my rebuild-my-pelvic muscles-plan much slower than we planned. He also gave me some dismal news…a hip replacement is not an option for me – I am way too lax for it to work. I absolutely do NOT want a hip replacement, but it has always been in the back of my mind that it was an option if none of my other approaches work. Now I learn even that is not an option.
Pretty discouraging.
This connective tissue stuff is bigger than I thought. And I can’t solve it. I can’t fix it. Nothing I do is going to make my connective tissue rubber-band-like instead of taffy-like. Nothing.
And I am grieving. I am grieving the life I thought I would have, the body I thought I had, and a million other things.
But God is good. He sent Kim, a friend I haven’t seen since last summer, to meet me in the parking lot and hold me while I cried. She prayed with me and gave me wise counsel about leaning in to God. She looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me, God loved me, and He is with me.
I spent the afternoon in bed with ice packs all over me. I cried some more. I ate a huge salad with avocados.
And then I put my big girl panties on and moved on with life. Richard helped me hobble out to the family room and covered me with ice packs so I could lead a discussion on Frankenstein. And I laughed and smiled and shared.
Life goes on. Even if my body doesn’t work right, life goes on.
Note to self: focus on the blessings, keep my chin up, lean in to God, and let the tears flow when they need to.
I'm Tracy, a mama with big dreams, crazy ideas, loads of laughter, an insatiable desire to learn, and enormous piles of laundry.
