thankful thursdays 5/25

May 25, 2017 by

I met with my geneticist, Dr. Ball, at Primary Children’s Medical Center, on Monday. It is a pretty big deal to meet with him. It is a big deal emotionally, physically, and mentally and I’m still recovering days later. It’s time to take some time to focus on gratitude.

  • I’m grateful there is a geneticist in the intermountain west who knows EDS inside and out.
  • I’m grateful Kez and Dallin took me down to SLC and listened to me go round and round about how maybe the whole thing is in my head. They may have laughed at me, but they listened and helped me sort through the tangled web of thoughts running on repeat in my mind.
  • Sunshine is feeding my soul. Oh my goodness, I love the sun streaming through my windows, shining down on my body, and glistening through the trees.
  • Dallin. This young man has my heart. He is Keziah’s best friend and we love him. His goodness brings me so much joy.
  • We had a crazy windstorm on Wednesday and lost hundreds of branches and one big tree. I’m so grateful nothing came through our windows or roof or smashed our cars.
  • I can feel the stem cells kicking in and energy is starting to increase a wee bit every day. I’m still super exhausted, but I can feel a difference and others are seeing a difference.
  • My dear Richard. He is working so hard, so many hours trying his darndest to make ends meet and to take care of all of us. He comes home wiped out, but still plays catch with the kids, does laundry, cooking, or whatever else needs done, and most of all, he loves us. He is almost done with the school year and it will be so, so good for him to have a bit of a break.
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thankful thursdays 5/18

May 18, 2017 by

Once upon a time I wrote a Thankful Thursdays post nearly every week. Somehow I got out of the habit of writing them (or even blogging in general) and I miss it. I miss my Thursday reflections on gratitude. I miss being able to go back and read my posts. So, I am going to try again to cultivate this weekly habit.

My heart is pretty full this morning. Yesterday I was able to spend the afternoon with Kat and Jessica on a Costco run and buy some much needed food and supplies for my family. Spending time with these dear friends is comfortable and soothing and hilarious all at the same time. Then, last night, we had a delicious dinner of ravioli cooked by Dallin and Kez, and then family game night. We laughed so hard. I must have really needed some laughter because I laughed all night long, through all the games and family discussion of a towel problem we are having and actually all through family prayer as well. (Richard thanked God for the moisture we received and all I could think of was Jessica’s flailing arms whenever she talks about people thanking God for moisture instead of actual RAIN or SNOW. I couldn’t get her voice out of my head and I giggled all the way through the prayer. I think God has a sense of humor and didn’t mind my laughter.)

  • Trees. The trees in my yard are all leafed out and the view from my bed brings me SO MUCH JOY.
  • Stem cells. After last week’s injections, I can already feel them starting to work. The dysautonomia is calming down – yesterday I was able to eat and feel pretty normal afterwards!
  • Speaking of stem cells, I’m so grateful for Tami taking me to Mexico again and again and again and making it possible for me to receive this much needed therapy. There is no way I can get there on my own or take care of myself while I am there. She is such a huge blessing in my life!
  • My mama. We had a pretty big scare with her this weekend having a severe pulmonary embolism. I’m so thankful to be her daughter and that she is still here with us.
  • These precious souls God has given me. I am often at my grumpiest with my husband and kiddos and they have plenty of opportunities to learn how to forgive, but I love them fiercely.
  • Blythe’s music brings such joy to my soul. She is super busy right now, but every day she sits at the piano and plays for a few minutes.
  • My sister. Oh, I love her. She is strong and giving and has a heart of gold. I was just privileged to spend a week with her – what a treasure!
  • I don’t have a green thumb in any way, but there are flowers blooming in my yard and I love their bright, cheerful colors and determination to survive a cold, windy spring.
  • Kat and Jessica. I didn’t feel like getting out of bed yesterday and really didn’t see how I would manage it with as much pain as I was in, but my friends loved me through the pain and took me shopping at Costco. I truly don’t know what I would do without Kat and Jessica. Their commitment to loving me with all my faults and annoying over-the-top craziness has blessed my life in ways I cannot express.

Life is good. Beautiful and hard and frustrating and blessed and joyful. So, so good.

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thankful for

Dec 2, 2015 by

The past few weeks have been full of a lot of introspection. I have spent a lot of time thinking about gratitude and even though Thanksgiving Day has come and gone, I still need to take some time to ponder and write down my list of gratitude.

  • My Heavenly Father and Mother
  • Jesus the Christ
  • Richard
  • Our children
  • The scriptures
  • My mom
  • My dad
  • My siblings
  • My grandma & grandpa
  • Oodles of cousins, aunts, and uncles
  • My dear, dear friends, oh, my goodness, I am blessed with amazing friends
  • A safe home
  • Trees
  • Sunshine
  • Clean water to drink
  • Water to play in
  • Water to relax by
  • Days at the lake
  • Food to eat
  • Ovens
  • Stoves
  • Fire
  • Sleeping bags
  • Snuggly quilts
  • Fleece
  • Wool socks
  • Comfortable shoes that protect feet from elements and owies
  • Mittens and gloves
  • Warm hats
  • Blue skies
  • Gentle breezes
  • Hammocks
  • Read-alouds with our children
  • Audio books
  • Amazing mentors that bless the lives of our family by sharing their passions and loving our children
  • Our homeschooling community
  • Gymnastics
  • Libraries
  • Books, glorious books
  • Book discussions
  • Communication in all its many forms – the spoken word, the written word, email, letters, phone calls, the look in someone’s eye, social media, hugs, tears, the sharing of the soul – I am so grateful I can connect with so many people and share not only information, but also our hearts
  • Music
  • Braces and tape to hold me together
  • Bone, Flesh, and Cartilage ointment
  • Essential oils
  • Herbs
  • Grapefruit Seed Extract
  • Onions, carrots, celery, garlic – use them all the time in my cooking and cannot imagine food without them
  • Ice cream
  • Chocolove Dark Chocolate and Sea Salt bars – totally delish
  • My bed
  • Ice packs and rice packs
  • Swim camp
  • Family reunions
  • Swings
  • Swimming pools
  • Working vehicles
  • Mountains
  • Kayaking
  • Angels
  • Priesthood blessings
  • Pumpkin pie
  • Toilets
  • Running water
  • Snow shovels
  • A flat driveway
  • Contacts
  • Glasses
  • Covenants
  • Washing machine & dryer
  • Refrigerators & freezers
  • Vacuums
  • Mechanical pencils
  • Staedtler pens
  • Photographs
  • My grandma’s aprons
  • Erasers
  • Water bottles
  • Magic erasers
  • Doors to keep the cold out
  • My church
  • My community
  • Goodness
  • Kindness
  • Generosity
  • Big dreams
  • Passion
  • Courage
  • Sacrifice
  • Freedom
  • Determination
  • Love, most of all, love
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thankful thursdays: 4/23

Apr 23, 2015 by

The MRI on my knee today went fairly well in that I didn’t freak out about being stuck in a tube and the loud noises didn’t drive me absolutely batty. While I was in there for who knows how long, I closed my eyes and prayed. I knew if I kept my eyes open I would go into freak out mode, (ever since I was held captive in a sleeping bag as a child, I cannot handle being confined, especially when something or someone is on top of me) so I closed them and naturally started talking with God.

I thanked Him again and again for the many blessings of my life. And then I realized it is Thursday and it has been a long time since I posted a Thankful Thursdays post.

  • My dear Richard. As I lay inside the tube, my heart filled up with deep gratitude for this man who has given his soul to me. He loves me and helps me to be my best self. He serves and sacrifices and keeps us all grounded. I cannot imagine going through this experience without him by my side cheering me on, holding me when I cry, and keeping me laughing with his deadpan sense of humor.
  • I next thought of my children and how dearly I love them. I am so grateful to be part of their lives and to have the privilege of mothering them. Last week, the orthopedic surgeon I met with was surprised I had four children and I was reminded once again how blessed I am to have even one child, much less four children.
  • Then I thanked Him for the technology of the MRI machine and asked Him to help me hold still, stay calm, and for the machine to be able to get clear pictures of whatever is wrong.
  • My mind moved to the many supplements, foods, and treatments I am receiving right now that are helping to calm and heal my nervous system. I am full of gratitude for the vegetables and other foods placed on this earth to fill our bodies with the nutrients we need to thrive.
  • I thought of my free green drink from Jamba Juice this morning and how the act of kindness lifted my spirits immensely and helped me to see the beautiful things in the world today. I don’t completely know why I was so nervous for the MRI, but I really was and the free-smoothies-for-all event at Jamba this morning helped me get refocused on the good things of this world instead of being weighed down with fear.
  • I thought of Jeremy, my full-of-awesomeness Manual Therapist. I started seeing him two years ago this week and he is by far the most important care provider I have. He understands connective tissue – how it works and how it affects the body. Even better for me, he totally understands how *my* connective tissue works (or doesn’t work, however you want to look at it!) and how he can help it to work at its best. He has put me back together hundreds of times, listened to me cry, rant and rave, get super grumpy at the difficulty of injury after injury, and given me solid data to help me make wise decisions and make progress. He needs to be cloned so many more people can be blessed by his phenomenal skills and excellent care.
  • Then I thought about the sunshine and how much joy that radiant light in the sky gives me. I am so grateful for the sun.
  • Then I thought of the many people who have been part of my journey and I started naming them one by one and praying for them as individuals. Each time I thought of someone, specific words would come to mind to share with Father. At this point, I thought my heart might burst and explode all over the MRI tube because I was overcome with gratitude for all the love that has been poured out on me over the past three years.

And then it was over and as I reentered the world of lights and people and conversations, I was a little shocked to be so suddenly back into the world of busyness and I realized what a blessing it can be to have these forced moments of aloneness during medical tests where I can only think and talk with myself and my Father in Heaven. It is probably true that I need to make more space in my life for uninterrupted meditative time, but with four children and a myriad of other things calling for my attention, my prayers are often short and frequently interrupted, so today I am grateful for the many hours I have spent waiting for appointments, waiting for tests to be run, lying on hard tables waiting to be seen, and yes, even lying in a cold, loud, MRI tube where I was given the chance to talk to God for a good, long chat.

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thankful thursdays 6/26

Jun 26, 2014 by

It has been awhile since I have posted a gratitude list and for the good of my soul I need to take some time to do it today.

  • Summer! Oh, how it feeds my soul to see the sun shining and my trees blowing in the breeze.
  • Time with Richard. Because he doesn’t work for the school district in the summer, we get a bit more papa time in the summer. This past Saturday was his first Saturday with us since last September and it was heavenly.  We took Fisher and Annes camping overnight at a campground just a few miles from our house. The kids got to fish right up until dark since the river ran alongside our camp spot. Richard and the kids were up early to hit the river again. It was such a delightful get away and reminded me how much I adore my family and being outdoors with them.
  • Our Happy Jar. I read about it over on Hands Free Mama and decided to give it a whirl. Fish and Annes love it! It is helping all of us to notice the good and be the good.
  • My Aunt Eileen sent me a box full of delicious rhubarb jam! My grandma made rhubarb jam every summer and sometimes I was able to help her. One of my favorite childhood memories is crawling down into grandma’s cellar to get a jar of homemade jam for our morning toast. Now my children get to experience a lil’ piece of my grandma and their heritage.
  • Our homeschool group had a curriculum fair yesterday and for six whole buckaroos I came home with a bag full of wonderful treasures.
  • Read aloud time with my family. Fisher and Annes and I just finished Hanne’s Quest. It has been a fun book with just the right touch of mystery, wonder, and courage. All of us are still plugging through The Red Keep – it is taking us awhile because the big girls’ schedules are so inconsistent. My goal is to reinstitute a solid plan for family read-aloud time.
  • My new website is coming along nicely and I love my adorable tree made by the super-talented Jessica. I should be ready to launch this new change-the-world venture in the next week or so.
  • I haven’t been able to rearrange the furniture all year and it has about killed me. A few days ago Blythe helped move all the furniture over to the carpeted room and the table to the wood room. We were able to deep clean both rooms in just a few hours! My soul needs things to be rearranged fairly frequently so everything feels fresh and new and now that it is taken care of, I feel like I can move forward with a clean slate into my summer projects.
  • Our girls were able to go on trek last week with our old ward. This experience of pulling a handcart through the desolate high-mountain plains of Wyoming has changed them for the better. I am so grateful our former bishop invited them attend and that they were able to work hard to earn the money to pay for it.
  • My jaw is improving. I can talk pretty normally now and the headaches are subsiding some. The bones across my face still ache something fierce, but the lower jaw is not hurting nearly as much.
  • Our car broke down a few days ago, but thanks to my handy husband, we think we have it figured out. The new part should be on its way to us soon and we will have a working car in the next week or so.
  • Last night I finished reading My Name Used To Be Muhammed. My heart broke so many times while reading it. I ached for the harshness and violence of Tito Momen’s life and wanted to wrap his precious little boy heart up in my arms and let him draw to his heart’s content. I wanted to prevent his father from hitting his mother ever again. I wanted to turn a whole culture of control, violence, and fear into a culture of love, patience, and trust. But I couldn’t do any of those things. I CAN mourn with those that mourn and do my darndest to raise my children with the love I wanted Tito to have. I can encourage other families on their paths. I can be a voice for empathic parenting. I can teach and love and serve. The experience of reading this book was painful and I am grateful to have gone though it – my heart is expanded by the suffering and courage of Tito.
  • A few weeks ago when my jaw was in so much pain, my friend Marie showed up unannounced at my house with her seven children, including her baby who has Down’s Syndrome and a whole host of health problems. I tried to send them away with protestations of “We are fine, we don’t need any help!” but Marie looked into my eyes and said, “Please Tracy, let me do something for you. I need to get out of my troubles and do something for someone else. Please let me help.” So I did. I know that dark place of being weighed down by my own troubles and knowing the only way out is to get out of my head and go serve someone else. She and her children mowed my lawn, washed my dishes, took several batches of blankets and towels to wash, and gave me piles of love. They brought carrot juice, delicious herbal tea, and willing hearts and hands. I keep thinking back to the beautiful morning and well up with tears…there is so much love in this world.
  • Tonight we made dinner for the missionaries (Tami’s Famous Chicken Tortilla Soup) and now we are going to have Family Game Night. Such a lovely evening.
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thankful thursdays 2/27

Feb 27, 2014 by

Gratitude is a game changer for me. It helps my brain focus on the precious, my heart enlarge with joy, and my soul to ccccaaaallllmmmm down. Thursdays are my days to think deeply about thanksgiving.

 

  • If you have read WOK for any length of time at all, you know I have richly blessed with amazing friends. Today is another example of their awesomeness. Yesterday we made a plan for me to stay completely off my foot for 36 hours so I could have the cast-like tape removed and let me skin heal a bit from being wrapped up for so long. Being untaped means no getting out of bed except to crawl to the toilet every few hours. But then at 9:55 this morning, I got my email reminder that today is chicken day – 120 lbs. of chicken were waiting for me to pick up and then do something with…can, freeze, etc. Kat, Sheri, and her daughter helped us freezer pack my huge Zaycon chicken order in about 45 minutes!!! OMSH! They are amazing! It would have taken Blythe and Keziah hours and hours to do all that work by themselves, but six pairs of hands working hard together made the process easy-peasy.
  • Last night I was blessed to attend a wonderful presentation by my friends, Bob and Tasha, on “When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade.” It was exactly what I needed – a kick-in-the-butt to try to see things from an eternal perspective and effective skills to experience peace in the moment of trial.
  • A big, sobbing, sisterhood hug.
  • Minestrone soup brought from a dear friend…so delicious and such a blessing to have delicious comfort food.
  • A big bag of venison – thank you Vanessa!
  • My Annesley was able to start taking piano lessons today. She is so, so happy! And I get to start the process of being a Suzuki mom again. Now that my girls are grown up and practice without me, I have missed those early lessons with my little ones and I am excited to start the journey again with some of the experience I have gained over the years of being a music mom. Surely I will be calmer and far more nurturing this time around, right?
  • I’m so thankful to start off each day with heaps of kale deliciousness in my Keziah-made-green smoothies. I don’t know what I would do without that girlie.
  • While it is hilarious to me that I have to be using one, my walker is a huge gift to my physical well-being. I’m sure taking the weight off my foot when I need to walk on it is helping those ligaments to heal.
  • My sweetheart’s hand to hold while I try to sleep with this walking boot on. I don’t think I could make it through the long nights of foot pain without him.
  • Having Blythe as a driver and errand girl is making staying in bed this time a lot easier. I’m so glad she finally has her license!

I am blessed beyond measure. Life is full of ups and downs and ins and outs and all sorts of cliffs and mountains and valleys and I love it. I am grateful to be able to live this life and have these gut-wrenching, awe-inducing, and soul-streching opportunities to grow and learn and most of all, to love.

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thankful thursdays 2/13

Feb 13, 2014 by

What an emotional day this has been…finally the anger, despair, and hopelessness are all cried out. The resolve, faith, and hope are back and it is time to focus on gratitude.

  • Tonight I am grateful for Kat’s wise words of encouragement. She came and lied in bed with me for a bit this afternoon and helped me see things from a better perspective.
  • I am grateful to Sheri for coming with me to my appointment this morning and taking such good care of me. That woman is a rock! She also rearranged her whole day and took my children to the Jazz performance they have been looking forward to all week.
  • Tasha’s dinner tonight was delicious – yams, spinach and cucumber salad, and taco soup. She even brought it to me in bed with some words of encouragement. Best of all, she brought me a big bag of Lamoreaux family popcorn – this stuff is my favorite!
  • All of my children made it to all of their different activities today.
  • My dear husband came home and listened.
  • I don’t know why my body is struggling so much and a HUGE part of me wishes I could wave my magic wand and make it all go away, but I can’t and I am choosing to be grateful for this experience. It is hard and it full of opportunities to grow and it is a blessing in many, many ways.
  • I am grateful for the trees in my yard that I can see out my bedroom window.
  • I am grateful for the fancy tape Jeremy used to hold my foot together. It is really helping.
  • I am grateful for ice packs.
  • I am grateful for birds in the trees and their chatter.
  • I am grateful for my mom and her heartfelt prayers.
  • I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and his abundant love.
  • I am grateful for my iPad that allows me to connect to the world from my bed.
  • I am grateful for water bottles.
  • I am grateful for laughter.

 

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thankful thursdays 2/6

Feb 6, 2014 by

It’s Thankful Thursday! Wahoo for gratitude.

  • Sunshine and blue skies! It is freezing cold and most of the schools are cancelled, including Richard’s school, but it looks beautiful from my window. Sunshine brings me happiness every time.
  • My new haircut is super cute! I love the color and the cut. I have more bangs than I have ever had and I actually like them oodles and gobs. I usually hate bangs and have only tried them out twice in my adult life, but Mikelle worked her magic and they look really good.
  • My new cute purse! My friend Amy did a Thirty-One show for Moola For Muscles and gave me the purse I was swooning over as a prize! Thanks Ames!
  • Richard’s school was cancelled this morning he was able to sleep in and snuggle me for a couple extra hours this morning. Any extra time with my sweetie is something to be grateful for.
  • Martin Luther and his boldness, fierce dedication to the doctrine of grace, and adherence to his principles.
  • The Holy Ghost
  • Our safe travels this week.
  • Soul-filling conversations.
  • My big bathtub.
  • The power of love.
  • Smiles and hugs.
  • Music lessons.
  • My ancient phone that keeps working in spite of its many, many spills to the ground.
  • My pubic bone is healing and I am feeling great!

We watched The Ultimate Life the other night for family movie night and one of the principles taught is to state out loud ten things you are grateful for each day. I am going to start implementing the practice and help my children to implement it as well.

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thankful thursdays: 1/23

Jan 23, 2014 by

Oh man, my heart is all over the place today. Full to the brim with gratitude for things big and small.

  • I spent some time over at the Sheriff’s office today because Blythe was taking her driving test…yes, for some ridiculous reason the Sheriff and the licensing office share the same space. Anyway, I have spent quite a bit of time there lately as we have been going through the process to get a license for our oldest girlie and everyone I have seen there has been there for the same reason we are there for…testing, renewing, or updating their driver’s licenses. So, when a young boy and his mother were sitting in the lobby chairs I assumed they were waiting for our driving inspector to get back so he could take his driving test. So when the Sheriff came out to talk to them, I didn’t think anything of it. I figured he was answering some driving test question…but I didn’t think about it. Then the Sheriff took the boy away and booked him into jail and the mom fled the lobby with tears in her eyes. The boy and mom didn’t even speak to each other or say goodbye or anything. Well, I burst into tears…the mother’s quick escape and the boy’s aloofness spoke volumes about the pain they were both in and my heart welled up with rivers of compassion for them both. Such heartache. I looked at the back of the departing boy and pictured him as a chubby toddler full of life and love and curiosity and I wanted to rewind his clock and take him back to younger days when he could make different choices. I wanted his mama to be able to see him as that adorable little toddler and remember happier times with her son. Most of all, I wanted to rush home and gather my children around me and tell them how much I love them. Perhaps it seems a strange thing to be grateful for, but I am so, so  grateful I haven’t had to watch any of my children walk into jail and my heart goes out to all of those mamas who have.
  • The last time I went to Costco I found a giant bag of prewashed, ready-to-dump-in-the-blender kale for $4.39 and quickly snatched it up. My green smoothies are a gazillion times better!
  • Also super grateful for Miss Kez who makes my nutrient-packed deliciousness every morning and brings it to me in bed.
  • I am so grateful for the many people who love my children. Last night at the Speech Festival many people, young and old, gave them encouragment and congratulations. It warms my heart to see them supported and cheered on by so many kind people. Thank you world…especially you, sweet Sheri!
  • The delete button is always something to be grateful for. My Mac is dying. It is sooooooooooooooooooo full of email, pictures, and minutia that it can hardly function anymore. It needs a fan blowing on its backside to keep it breathing, can barely handle one program being open at a time, and moves from one command to the next slower than a sloth. But I can’t afford a new one…and even if I had extra pennies they would all need to go to a mattress that doesn’t dislocate my joints…so I am trying my darndest to save it. I have deleted over 5000 emails in the past two weeks. WAHOO for Jess whacking me upside the head with reality and helping me free up some working memory on my trusty steed.
  • My Auntie Beth…my dear grandma’s youngest sister…wrote me the sweetest note of encouragement this week and sent a generous donation to Moola For Muscles. She has lived a hard, hard life and in her twilight years she has chosen peace and happiness – I am thrilled for her and am so grateful she loves me enough to send a handwritten letter full of hope. I love that lady!
  • Jeremy, aka Dr. Jones, is such a fabulous PT. I am so grateful God guided me to him. This morning he put several dislocated ribs back into place and now I can move my neck and shoulder again. He also worked on my angry psoas and I can now stand for more than five minutes without crying.
  • Pillows! My mattress has a lovely nest in the middle where my derriere spends most of its times and while never comfortable, it is completely painful with this new pubic bone injury. So, I have filled in all the saggy parts with piles of pillows and sleep on top of the pile.
  • Sunshine…the last few days have been blue skies and bright suns. WAHOO!
  • Martin Luther is at the top of my hero list this week. I have been studying his life for my WUBA class and want to wrap my arms around him and tell him thank you for choosing to stand on the word of God and His grace against the accepted practice of indulgences.
  • Love. Thank you everyone for blessing me with your love. Your hugs and notes and smiles and donations and laughter and conversation mean more than you can know. Your love gets me through each day.
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