i’m drowning

Aug 27, 2011

My bedroom is a war zone. Literally.

Well, except for the fact that there aren’t all that many angry words said in there…and definitely no deaths, although there have been several casualties from tripping over piles of stuff.

I know I need to clean it. I have known it for months (years?). Really. It is terrible. Day after day I somehow manage to put it off, to find a gazillion other more interesting things to fill my time. But now, I really, really know I must clean it and then keep it clean. I have a schedule full to the brim for this fall and need space and order to allow my brain to think all the big thoughts I need it to think. It’s like I need my space to be organized in order for my brain to have a chance of becoming organized. I have been reading the posts over at Habit Hacker. I downloaded the Home Routines app. I have thought and thought and thought about how to help the housekeeping part of my life run more smoothly. I have been working on organizing other rooms in my house. I have done gobs of laundry. I have contemplated cataloging every book in my home. I have sat in my room and made plans for it. I have tried to visualize the finished product (albeit a nearly impossible task!). I have started the task over and over and over. I have made piles. I have cleaned one corner. I have brought in boxes to fill with stuff to giveaway.

BUT I HAVEN’T CLEANED MY ROOM!

I am grumpy about it. I don’t want to do it, I just want it done and I want it done now. I have no more time to do it. I need to be reading and preparing for my Worldviews class. I need to be savoring the last days of summer. Instead, I am grumpy and overwhelmed.

Have you ever had a task like that?

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7 Comments

  1. Anne

    I emailed my comment to you.

  2. You’ve got to find some way to think about it differently. Maybe you can make it a gift to your sweet husband and think how serene and romantic it will be to snuggle together in a peaceful sanctuary.

    • tracy

      Yes, I have tried that. I even accomplished it once…I think it was for our 14th anniversary. Just this May I set a goal to create a sanctuary for us as a couple. I AM committed to doing it…but I still haven’t done it! What is wrong with me??????????

  3. Anne

    me too

  4. Anne

    overload

  5. Mommer

    You can organize a seminar, create two blogs, be the most loving and supporting friend to HUNDREDS of friends, read a hundred books, stay on top of homeschooling, teach gymnastics, teach HOPE, lead colloquia, be a nurturing and skillful doula, teach Primary, organize your school room, be everything to lots of people. And you cleaned your bedroom for your 14th anniversary.

    • tracy

      Yeah, I can do all those things…those things are fun!!!! Cleaning my room feels like a burden the size of Greenland. Heavy and grey and not enjoyable at all.

      I have finished one corner…Richard’s corner…it is my gift to him. Now to start on my side of the room…where to put this stuff???????????????