blog
moving things around
Our learning room and sewing room have been in disaster mode for the past few weeks and today was the day to get everything back in order and make some rearrangements so we can start our new learning routine without iFamily classes on Wednesdays.
First up was to put all my math supplies away from the past many weeks of teaching Math Alive! – I tell you the amount of blocks, games, Polydrons, papers, books, and other manipulatives I haul back and forth to that class each week would blow your mind. Unfortunately we haven’t been putting it all away each week, so it has been building up in piles all over the school room. Today we got all my math stuff put away on our Expedit life-changing shelves, put the school room bookshelves back in order, the dress-ups put away, the fort-making blankets folded up, everything vacuumed and dusted, and then we started rearranging. My favorite part!
Since Passover the downstairs has been full to bursting with the dining room table taking up almost every inch of walking space. We decided to keep the couches in the dining room (where they have been since Passover) and moved the dining room table upstairs into the family room. We finally put the world map and vinyl on the table to up our geography time and moved my bike downstairs. We moved the Duplo table away from my computer desk and over near the wall maps and timelines. Then we put Keziah’s new (great used find from a family in our ward!) treadmill and set my bike up on my new (great used find on KSL classifieds!) trainer where the Duplo table was. We moved the chess table upstairs in the hopes that people will play more frequently. Next we pulled out the big red barn that has been put away for a few years since Keziah stopped playing with it and made a horse play area for Annesley. We put the couches into a traditional ninety degree angle arrangement instead of the diagonal coziness they have been in for several months to enable more room in front of the TV so Richard and Blythe have enough space to exercise while they do DDP Yoga. We moved my green table down the hallway to my bedroom and our little red nightstand/scripture holder to the corner of the kitchen.
I am thrilled with the changes. I am so excited for Keziah to have a place to run every day and a place for my bike so I can start riding as soon as my physical therapist gives me the go-ahead. I am ready to settle into our new learning groove without iFamily classes influencing how we spend our time. This is the time of year I get to teach my children with the most freedom because they don’t have other commitments to other teachers. I love it! Don’t get me wrong, I love their iFamily classes also, but it is nice to shake things up a bit every few months.
Fisher begged me to pull out the Story of The World CDs this morning to listen to while we cleaned. I love Jim Weiss’ voice and how he draws my children right into the story. Today we learned about the fertile crescent, how nomadic people lived, early farming efforts, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, Joseph and the coat of many colors, his brothers selling him as a slave, Potipher’s house, prison, the Pharoah’s dreams, the seven-year famine, and the reunification of Jacob’s family. Fisher knows the Israelite stories inside and out, but it was fun to listen to them from a different perspective. I think we will continue on with listening for the next few weeks during art time.
Now that everything is clean and orderly all my children want to do is get things out and explore! It cracks me up how that works. When everything is in its place the school room is far more interesting than when everything is in chaos.
p.s. If you have been eyeing my Polydrons, now is a great time to get some. The sale prices this month are the best I have seen for over a year. They often go on sale for 25% – 40% off, but this month is in the 75% off range.
procaine be gone
So, it seems the shaking and passing out are back. At least they have been visiting the past few days. I am ready for them to hit the road and never return, but we will see what happens and try to wrap our emotions and plans around my body’s needs.
Saturday night Richard and I went out on a much needed date. We hardly saw each other last week because on top of his normal schedule he also had five extra energy healing sessions. When his sixth session for Saturday night cancelled, we took advantage of it and decided to spend some time together. Near the end of our date I started shaking, then passed out. The cycle repeated six more times while Richard worked on all my body systems to get them back into working order.
I haven’t passed out again, but it has been close a few times. My body is dumping a ton of the Procaine, which is good, but it short-circuits my system if there is not enough water in me to move it out.
So, the focus is on water, magnesium, and rest.
thankful thursdays 4/18
- The sun! Shouting hallelujah for the glorious rays of light shining down today.
- I’m thankful for music lessons. My daughters love making music and I love hearing it. I am so grateful to have an awesome teacher who comes to our home and helps them grow their skills on piano and violin.
- The last twelve weeks have been such a blessing in my life. I have had the opportunity to teach a class about the Jewish Festivals and I have learned so much. I love learning about the symbolism God uses to teach us about His ways.
- Last week at iFamily Annesley locked us out of the car. My friend, Stephanie, drove clear to my house to get my spare keys out of Keziah’s purse AND surprised me with one of those fancy-schmancy gourmet cupcakes. What a dear friend she has been for over twelve years!
- Blythe made yummy scrambled eggs for breakfast this morning – wahoo!
- So grateful for Aliysa and Emily and everyone else that transport my children all over Timbuktu. I need to find a way to pay them back! Someday Blythe will be driving on her own, right?.
- Richard has had a gob of energy sessions this week. I am so grateful he is able to help people heal inside and out.
- A big thank you to Tamia for her gift of beautiful farm fresh eggs! Used them this morning in the scrambled eggs.
- I am grateful for my rich network of friends. It seems everywhere I go there are people to give hugs to and catch up with…life is such a beautiful opportunity to connect with people’s hearts.
- After ten+ days, Fisher and Annesley’s caterpillars came this morning! We will be watching them grow into butterflies over the next several weeks.
- I am loving the sunrises this week. They wake me up with their pink and orange splendor and then I stay in bed and do genealogy while the world wakes up. It is the perfect start to me day.
What are you grateful for today?
full days, full nights
The last week has been full of inspiration, friends, food, fun, new ideas, adventures, family, and excitement. It has been chock full of so, so much.
Hence, I haven’t blogged. Blogging requires me to have a little bit of time in a day to type out my thoughts and this week I had time to live fully, but nothing extra was left over for typing.
Monday
My pelvis had been shifting out of place for a few days and was giving me quite a bit of nerve pain, so late in the afternoon I was able to squeeze in an appointment with my chiropractor to put everything back in place. It is always a little frightening to me to have my hip manipulated because I do not want anything to happen to cause more injury to the area. He did a fabulous job and gently worked my hip socket, psoas, IT band, and trochanter till everything was back in their correct spots and the pain was gone. While I was there I asked him about riding my recumbent bike…see yesterday’s post for more on that!
Monday night during Family Home Evening we were treated to delicious cinnamon rolls from our friends, the Thomases. They were thoroughly enjoyed and quickly devoured.
Tuesday
Learning time. Cleaning time. Get ready for iFamily time. More cleaning time. Run to the store and get more chick feed time. Mutual for the big girls in two different places. More get ready for iFamily time.
Wednesday
Seminary. Play practice for Keziah’s Improv class. iFamily fun and teaching my three classes. Get locked out of my car by Miss Annes. Friend rescue to drive to Rigby and get extra keys. Very rushed dinner time for all the big ballet girls. Run the ballet girls to ballet. Rush home to hold a book discussion at my home on The Jew In The Lotus. Learn a lot. Go to bed way too late.
Thursday
Learning time. See the sunshine and no wind and realize there are cheap flats of strawberries being delivered in town today and decide to have a strawberry-park-library-bike shop afternoon. First trip to the park for 2013. Underdogs for Annesley on the swing. Kez, Fish, and Annes playing tag. Lying down on the picnic table in the sun = pure joy. Then a leisurely library trip where we discovered some new books and I felt like a normal Mama Tracy again. Then the bike shop to figure out bike trainers and the awesome bike store owner who let me borrow a trainer for the weekend. Sometime during the afternoon my cousins, Jim and Bev, dropped by our home and invited us to dinner. They were here from Colorado for their son’s college graduation. Blythe was the only one home so she gave them my number and we started working out a plan to see one another. Because of my hip injury and my breast lump the summer before I haven’t been to the family reunion for the past two summers and have SO missed my extended family. After some rearranging of schedules, we were able to work it all out to meet them for dinner. It was wonderful to catch up with them and visit over some yummy food. Jim even treated us – how fun is that?! After dinner we hurried over to a fundraiser for Dando Amor and OSSO, Blythe’s new passion. She is hoping to serve a volunteer mission with OSSO very soon. What an inspiring evening! We were able to learn more about the work the volunteers do, cry over the great need of the children of Equador, and listen to amazing performances of Broadway songs put on by Playmill performers, past and present. It was an amazing night. Blythe was able to meet with the director of OSSO and she has her heart set on serving in Equador for 3 – 4 months. After the performances, we went shopping in the lobby for special things from Equador and Burkina Faso. Keziah bought a darling bag, Blythe found an adorable wallet, and I bought some wire bugs for Fisher and Annes. We didn’t get home till after 11 p.m. and quickly found the two late nights in a row had about done me in.
Friday and Saturday
Woke up as early as I could given the lack of sleep the past few days and packed for the Mom’s Retreat for iFamily. Then, after getting to gym a bit later than usual, I taught gym, thought I was invincible and did two handstands on the vault AND rescued a boy who was going to crash on his head. The handstands were okay, at least they felt okay at the time, but the rescue did me in. I dislocated my shoulder and wrenched my hip out of place and soon had to lie down with ice packs on both regions. As gym wore on, my pain increased, and my frustration with myself went right along with it. By the time Kat and Heather picked me up for the retreat I was ready to be immersed in an ice bath, but I only had a dinky little ice pack to keep switching from shoulder to hip and my right shoulder was several inches than my left. Ouch.
Off to the Mom’s Retreat we went and oh, what fun we had! Kat catered the event and her food creations are always delicious. We had some wonderful presentations on nurturing ourselves as moms, nurturing our family, specific principles we can implement in our homes in our own individual ways to be more effective in our mothering roles, and stayed up till almost 3 a.m. talking and laughing as only a bunch of girls can do. The next morning we had more of Kat’s yummy food and then I did a vision walk with the group and we had a powerful discussion on our roles as women, daughters, mothers, and friends. After a quick cabin clean-up, we started home through gale force winds, lightening, and rain.
I reconnected with my children, took a catch-up nap, then got ready for our evening activities. The girls went to the Symphony to hear Beethoven’s Fifth and an awesome percussion concerto while Richard had a date with Fisher and Annes. I went to Stake Conference and took pages of notes, basked in the Spirit, and felt inspired to more fully commune with God on a daily basis.
What a week. Chock full of really, really good things. But now, I need some days of early bed times to catch up on all the missed hours of ZZZs. I
on the road again – almost
Last week I went to get my hip and pelvis put back together and while I was there I asked my chiropractor about riding my recumbent bike. For many weeks now I have felt that riding my bike is my next step. I feel strongly that I need to ride my bike, but when I read physical therapy guidelines for labral tears, I get scared because they all say no way due to the stress recumbent bikes put on hip flexors. They strongly recommend upright bikes which are not an option for me because of the pelvic damage I have from the car accident/Fisher’s birth eight years ago. So, what is a girl to do who needs to build her leg muscles (really, all of her muscles)? She needs to pray and research and ask questions and find her own path. So I have been studying and thinking and pondering and asking. I am determined NOT to do something stupid and reinjure my hip, but the reality is I must find a way to build muscle because the muscles throughout my body need to be strong enough to compensate for my super-stretchy connective tissue caused by the Ehlers-Danlos. Not doing anything could very well be worse than doing something. My dislocations are becoming more frequent and more severe. On Friday my shoulder dislocated worse than it has in years and rendered my arm useless for hours. My jaw has started dislocating and causing me some pain. My hip is dislocating more and more frequently and is quite unstable. If I get bumped or get off-balance to a very small degree I will crash to the floor. My formerly very strong muscles have deteriorated significantly over the past 14 months of injury, bed rest, and inactivity. So, I am searching for answers. Searching for things I can do and WILL do on a daily basis to grow me some muscles.
Dr. Orchard and my dear, sweet husband both feel like I should ride my bike. They want me to take it slowly, ride with no degree of resistace at all – so no hills of any size, no riding into the wind, and no difficult gears, be diligent in my observance of my hip, take all my herbs and supplements, and do my comfrey/slippery elm/turmeric/plantain poultice daily.
I was so excited when he evaluated the tear and said he thinks it is ready for a super mild ride. I nearly screamed, but was able to contain myself to giant grin. I immediately called my mother full of excitement and she, understandably so, was quite concerned. She doesn’t want me to reinjure myself. She doesn’t want me to crash (which I have been known to do on my super-skinny tires) or get off-balance or get hit by a car or anything else that could possibly happen to hurt her little girl. She recommended a trainer that I could set up in my house far away from cars, slippery gravel, and would eliminate any possibility of crashing. I wailed and resisted and said, “NO WAY! I want to be on the road again. I want to feel the sun on my face and ride for miles and miles through the country.” She persisted in presenting the logic of her plan and I promised her I would think about it.
Well, I shared her idea with Richard and he thought it was a fabulous idea. I listened and fumed and eventually my resistance wore down. They are right. A trainer makes much more sense for right now because I won’t crash. I won’t have to figure out a way to avoid the Idaho wind. Most importantly, I can do it every day in my home without any worries of weather or cold. I SO want to be outside, but I have decided it is wise to start inside on a trainer.
So, I started researching trainers and went to our bike shop and talked to them. After hearing my story, they let me borrow a trainer for the weekend so we could figure out if my body will even let me get on the bike or pedal for any length of time at all. Isn’t that lovely!
Richard got it all set up for me and today was my first ride! My children pretty much freaked out. Annesley said “Mom! You are really going to sit on your bike? Can you DO that?”
After getting situated and figuring out a position that would work, Richard worked on my gears to make it as easy as possible. And then I pedaled. Me! I did it. I rode my bike for the first time in a lllloooonnnngggg time. I made myself stop after ten minutes of pedaling in a super easy gear with no resistance and hardly any effort required. We simply tested out the motion and its effect on my hip.
Amazingly enough I had no pain! And now, hours later, I am still pain free. I can’t wait to get on again tomorrow and then the trainer has to go back to the bike shop.
So, now I am searching for a used Kinectic Fluid Trainer (the fluid ones are the most expensive, but they also are the most stable, last indefinitely, respond to your bodies input, have a much greater degree of resistance options from hardly any to quite difficult, and are the quietest) and thinking up things I can sell to fund this purchase. Even if I can eventually get on the road again there are many days that the weather is not conducive to riding and I will still need to be able to work those muscles and make them grow into super-strong-compensating-workhorses, so a trainer is a great long-term item for my health.
This is so huge to me. I am so grateful to be at this point in my recovery to be able to even sit on my bike and pedal. I want to shout “Hallelujah!”
hurrah for chalkboard markers
Remember last week when I posted about my new chalkboard? Well, luckily for me (and you too, right?) I found my camera cord this morning in a batch of towels I have been meaning to fold for quite some time now and now I can show you the pics of its cuteness.
The original frame.
The original UGLY picture.
Mom starting the transformation process – she sanded it with two different kinds of sandpaper that I somehow found in Richard’s stash (I think one of the kinds was his super-fine car buffing sandpaper, eek!), then primed it, let it dry completely, and then started painting it red.
In all its red glory.
Mikelle and I trying to solve the brightness problem.
Success! Notice how the black smudges fix everything!
In its place on my green table and ready for some of Blythe’s doodling amazingness.
And now, all decorated with Blythe’s quick lunchtime artwork. I have asked her to create a new piece of inspiration every week.
Love it!
I was nervous about the chalkboard markers not coming off the chalkboard and ruining it because of some negative Amazon reviews, but after we tested them out on a scrap piece of wood over night and having them wash off perfectly with a damp rag, we are confident we made the right choice. There are lots of brands of chalkboard markers out there and these Chalk Ink ones seem to consistently have the best reviews in terms of durability and removability, so we went with them. Now that we have played with them I can say they are worth the price and I can’t wait to see what Blythe comes up with next week!
potw: windy nights
Oy, the wind. It has been blowing and gusting and wheezing. I heard it blew the power right out a little bit south of us and it is still shaking our trees and rattling our home more than 24 hours after it started. In honor of these gusts, we are memorizing Mr. Stevenson’s ode to the man in wind.
Windy Nights
by Robert Louis Stevenson
Whenver the moon and stars are set,
Whenever the wind is high,
All night long in the dark and wet,
A man goes riding by.
Late in the night when the fires are out,
Why does he gallop and gallop about?Whenever the trees are crying aloud,
And ships are tossed at sea,
By, on the highway, low and loud,
By at the gallop goes he.
By at the gallop he goes, and then
By he comes back at the gallop again.
Does the wind sound like a horse to you?
more light and truth
I took Blythe, Keziah, Courtney, and Madison to Salt Lake City to attend General Conference. I grew up attending conference and love, love, love taking my children to conference now. I love all the people, all the accents, languages, and hugs. I love the happiness. I love the connection with saints from every land. I love the hustle and bustle. I love the tradition of gathering together to hear the words of the Lord.
We listened to a lot of modern teenager music yesterday and amazingly enough God was able to speak to me quite a bit while I drove and the girls sang at the top of their lungs. Here are a few messages I received.
Don’t you worry, don’t you worry child. See heavens got a plan for you.
Yes, God does have a plan for me. He loves me. He sent His son to die for me. He wants me back. He teaches me and reaches out to me and is full of goodness and light. Following His plan for me brings me happiness.
It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There’s nothing that a hundred men, or more, could ever do. Just like the rain, down in Africa. It’s gonna take some time but I know you’re worth fighting for – I’d fight for you.
My husband will fight for me. This past week of darkness and misery showed me once again that he will do anything he can to help me. So will God.
Monsieur, I bless your name
I am ready Fantine!
Monsieur, lay down your burden
At the end of my days
You’ve raised my child in love
She’s the best of my life
And you shall be with GodPapa, papa, I do not understand
Are you all right?
Why did you go awayCosette, my child
Am I forgiven now?
Thank god, thank god
I’ve lived to see this dayIt’s you who must forgive a thoughtless fool
It’s you who must forgive a thankless man
It’s thanks to you that I am living
Again I lay down my life at your feet
Cosette, your father is a saint
When they wounded me
He took me from the barricade
Carried like a babe
And brought me home
To youNow you are here
Again beside me
Now I can die in peace
For now my life is blessedYou will live, Papa, you’re going to live
It’s too soon, too soon to say goodbye!Yes, Cosette, forbid me now to die
I’ll obey
I will try.On this page
I write my last confession
Read it well when I, at last, am sleeping
It’s the story
Of one who turned from hating
The man who only learned to love
When you were in my keeping.Come with me
Where chains will never bind you
All your grief
At last, at last behind you
Lord in Heaven
Look down on him in mercy.Forgive me all my trespasses
And take me to your glory.Take my hand
I’ll lead you to salvation
Take my love
For love is everlasting
And remember
The truth that once was spoken
To love another person
Is to see the face of God.Do you hear the people sing
Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people
Who are climbing to the light.For the wretched of the earth
There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end
and the sun will rise.They will live again in freedom
In the garden of the Lord.
We will walk behind the ploughshare;
We will put away the sword.
The chain will be broken
And all men will have their reward.Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Somewhere beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Do you hear the people sing?
Say, do you hear the distant drums?
It is the future that they bring
When tomorrow comes!Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Somewhere beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Do you hear the people sing?
Say, do you hear the distant drums?
It is the future that they bring
When tomorrow comes!Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Tomorrow comes!
I can’t even tell you how much I love this song. When I heard it at the movie I bawled all the way through it. I love the message of Christ’s redemptive love and power to save each of us. I love the message of Valjean’s healing through learning to love. I love the people climbing to the light and seeking the flame that never dies and the dark night ending. I know the power of God’s light in my life and want to share that power with the whole world. It breaks my heart to think of anyone is living with the darkness I experienced and I want them to know of God’s light to heal their soul. I love the imagery of chains being broken. I feel like I am helping my ancestors to break chains of pain, guilt, sorrow, cruelty, and heartache by praying for them, doing their ordinance work in the temple, and sending them my love. I know Christ has broken my chains and will continue to do so each time I turn to Him and give Him my burden. I love the message of joining the army of The Lord in spreading His message of peace and hope to all the world. This eight minute song is a gift to my soul.
God loves me so, so much. He loves you so, so much. He has done and will do everything He can to bring us home. I am so grateful for these powerful reminders. And this line?
To love another person is to see the face of God.
I want to learn to love with that love. I want to see as He sees and love as He loves. I long to be with Him in that future world that is full of His love.
And then President Uctdorf spoke this morning on light and how to access that light to chase the darkness away. I will type up my notes and share my thoughts on this life changing talk as soon as I can.
healing
I have a experienced a glorious five days. Simply and beautifully glorious.
On Tuesday of last week my friend Jen brought over pizza and love and concern and brightness. It was wonderful to talk to her, hear her children playing, and laugh a little, but I was still mired in darkness, hopelessness, and misery.
That night Richard used his SimplyHealed training to help my energy systems come back into some semblance of order. After what seemed like forever, I was back to a certain level of functioning and was able to actually smile at my husband and have a normal conversation. It was amazing to feel put back together again and feel somewhat like my real self.
Then I asked him for a priesthood blessing. While it is a sacred experience, I have decided to a write a little about it because I want to remember it forever and also share my joy. He said “I bless you with light” and as he said those words, the room and my soul filled with light so exquisite I felt transformed in an instant. Then he said “I bless you with the presence of your grandmother. I bless you to feel her nearby, to hear her tender words of love, and to know the things she knows.”
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Hallelujah! My grandmother is my favorite person in the whole world. I love her so, so much. I miss her so, so much. I know my grandmother is full of light and truth and love. She knows of Christ’s bounteous love. She knows how to treat people with that Christlike love. She knows the worth of a soul. She loves me. I cannot think of any blessing my Heavenly Father could have given me that would have been more precious or more needed.
Afterwards Richard told me the windows of heaven opened and poured light into my soul. He said my father’s ancestors were there and he could feel their presence strongly.
I was surrounded by light. I could feel it coursing through my soul and nourishing each cell of my body. I am so grateful for light. The light of truth and the light of love are exactly what I needed then and need each day, so I am going to do more to ensure I am receiving both.
Now five days later I can still feel the light. It warms my insides and brings a smile to my face.
Light, love, truth: the balm of Gilead for this soul.
light
“I bless you with light.”
And it came.
And my soul is healed.
And my heart is free.
And my smile is back.
Praise be to God.
I'm Tracy, a mama with big dreams, crazy ideas, loads of laughter, an insatiable desire to learn, and enormous piles of laundry.
